#fortnite dancing

[swagatron9]

I’ll be off on my monthly break where I disappear from tumblr and not post a single thing until I get the inspiration. See you all when ever i guess.

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

The coworker that doesn't like me told me I'm not allowed to eat my lunch until lunchtime (my lunch hour is at one) but it's 10am and I'm starving so I told her to get wrecked.

"What?"

"Get...wrecked. We can eat whenever we want if it's not busy. I can, you can...it's almost like we're adults that don't really need to be micromanaged. It's not busy and I wanna eat so...I'm gonna."

"WHERE IS ELI?"

"Office."

I like fucking with her now. Because I'm petty and because Eli is the most easygoing boss these people have ever had and the fact that she wants to make him less so is just...annoying.

Front desk is steps away from the office, so she does a pointed, and frankly very extra, roundabout on me and flings the door open.

"Oh hey...come on in I guess?" (Literally the ONLY pet peeve he has is about at least knocking before barging into his office). She leaves the door open so I can hear her complain about me.

I don't wear makeup.

I don't dress nice enough.

I use the bathroom too much.

I don't even have a degree.

You can't just hire your wife, can you?

I told her to get wrecked.

And and and...I eat when it's not lunch time.

I hear his chair creak back. "It wasn't very nice of her to say that and I will talk to her about it. We always want to be respectful to each other, of course. Anything else?"

"Will you address my other concerns with her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Those aren't really your concerns to have. They have nothing to do with you and are not against policy at all. You are also free to use the bathroom or eat your lunch whenever you would like to."

"But she's in there a lot...and she is always eating."

His chair creaks again. "Look...let me just level with you. I can't tell a pregnant employee that she can't pee. That's definitely in the rules." Ohhhh noooo. He's just made a hell of a slip and caught it because he starts talking VERY FAST. "Also, I refuse to tell any of you that you can't pee whenever you want because that's just...weird and controlling and I'm never going to be that guy."

"Eli, honestly do you really think it's appropriate to be your pregnant wife's boss?"

"I'm not her boss. Darren is. I'm just willing to ask her not to tell you to get wrecked as a courtesy to you because you do such good work for me, and have for a long time."

She's not taking the compliment, and demands the district office number. I hear some clicking, and when I lean back to peek in, he's dialing it for her. "I'll give you some privacy, let me know if they need to speak to me directly."

He comes out and shuts the door behind him...surrendering his office to a bitchy old crone. He looks slightly annoyed, and I don't know what else to do but dab. He doesn't smile so I get up and floss. At this point he's waiting to see how many dumb Fortnite dances I can do so I launch into an Orange Justice. That finally gets a smile. "Okay okay...don't break your hip over it."

Some kids have seen me and are now all doing their own very cute and wiggly versions of every dance they know. Eli steps in to checkout. "Sorry for the wait, let's get you rung up...unless you wanna dance first then I can wait until at least 6pm."

Of course they keep going, a little boy coming behind the desk to pull Eli out and attempt to teach him how to floss. He can't do it. He really goes for it though, bless his heart.

Angela reaches around me into the printer tray. "Why did you marry him again?"

"Needed someone to reach the top shelf for me. The struggle is real."

[stxphxn-strange]

Peter, on minute 36 of his toast at the Ironstrange wedding: Doctor dad, not only did you tik tok dance into our lives, you flossed into our hearts. Everyone raise a glass to my dads!

Stephen, raising his glass while whispering to Tony: i have no idea what he just said.

[littletroubledgrrrl]

Jeff Hardy: Fortnite dancing before it was cool.

[cockneydio]

jojo part 3 but everyone is fortnite dancers

help

[fallontonight]

BTS might give Fortnite a run for its money. 

[cloverchats]

@cherrykekii’s Discord server with no context

[tako-cafe]