Lost Stars
Author: TO BE REVEALED
Pairing: Bambam X Reader
Genre: Soulmate!AU, Fluff
Prompt: C2 - Stargazing Confession
Word Count: 2,605
Warning: None
A/N: For Bambam Network’s “Shooting Star For You” Bambam FicFest.
Holding a black gel pen, Bambam was engrossed doodling on the back of his hand. It was of three hollow five-point stars lined up together, the middle star slightly larger than the other two.
“Are you even listening?”, Yugyeom shouted and threw a crumpled paper on his way as the taller one stopped dancing and sat on the seat in front of the other.
“Huh?” Bambam snapped out of his reverie and automatically covered his hand with the sleeves of his sweatshirt as his friend came closer.
“What’s up guys?” You greeted the two as you entered the dance club’s room.
“Hey, Y/N!”, You fist bumped Yugyeom and Bambam’s eyes automatically went to your hand, the tattoo clearly visible to everyone. Your ‘soulmate’ mark, identical to the one that Bambam doodled on his hand.
“I was just asking Bambam what he plans to do for his birthday.”
“Oh, that’s, tomorrow right?” You asked and laid down your bag on an empty chair and plopped beside Yugyeom.
Bambam straightened on his seat, “Oh. Nah, I don’t feel like celebrating this year.”
“Are you sure?”, Yugyeom asked wide-eyed. He couldn’t believe what he just heard from his friend. The same friend who’s a social butterfly and has been one of the event planners of their club, and of their school batch, and have hosted some of the most epic parties. “May I remind you, this is our 21st year of being alive! The year we’re finally legal! And you don’t want to celebrate???”
“I do! Just… Maybe we can celebrate this weekend instead…?” Bambam tried to avoid both your gaze.
“What’s the matter?” You asked.
Bambam groaned and raised his head towards the ceiling. He doesn’t know how to tell you both that he dreaded this day.
“Oh, you’re thinking about that huh?”, Yugyeom remembered, his face suddenly serious. He now understood why Bambam is hesitant to celebrate.
According to statistics, 2 out of every 15 people on the planet are given a mark. A distinct shape and position of stars on their body that matches with their soulmate, the person they are destined to be with to pro-create.
Some find the existence of these marks to be lucky. Knowing that someone was made for them, to be with them and love them until they die. But there are also some who feels it a curse, making them unable to choose their own destiny.
Yugyeom’s mother was one of those that experienced its curse. She and Yugyeom’s father were childhood sweethearts. They were already in love, and was already a couple before it was the time they receive a mark. They didn’t think of the risk. When they both turned 21 years old, only his father got the mark on his arm. However, thinking that they can control their destiny, that their love is stronger than that, they still went on with their relationship knowing that there’s another person meant for him. They were happy for a while. They got married. And had Yugyeom. Until one day, his father met the other person with the same mark. And his father left them for her.
Growing up hearing Yugyeom’s mother talk about it made all three of you not a fan of the whole ‘soulmate’ mark thing. That is, until you had it. It didn’t even cross your mind that you were going to have it when your birthday came and then the symbol suddenly appeared on the back of your hand.
It was just earlier this year and Bambam can still remember waking up in the middle of the night with you suddenly knocking on the window of his room and climbing over. Your face full of tears, showing him your hand with the tattoo clearly visible on it. Your hand was red, making it obvious that you tried to scrub it off. Three hollow five-point stars lined up together, the middle star slightly larger than the other two.
He didn’t say a word. He just cuddled you that night as you cried yourself to sleep, his hand stroking your hair.
A few days went by and eventually, you somehow just accepted it and moved on.
“Look, if it shows up then great! And if not, then isn’t that great too? You can get to choose your own destiny. Instead of the great stars telling you that you have to be with the person they choose for you.”, Yugyeom said, placing his hand on top of Bambam’s on the table. Hoping to give a little comfort to his friend.
Bambam smiled, thankful for Yugyeom’s words but he still looked defeated at him, “Yeah… I just… I just want to be alone on my birthday. That’s all.”
Yugyeom pressed his lips and, though he does feel a little disappointed, he clearly understood what Bambam is going through, “Alright, bro. Whatever you want. But make sure you’re free the weekend after. We’ll celebrate then.”
“Yeah, I will. Thanks.”
“Okay, so there’s no party.” you summarized, interrupting their ‘moment’, “…But is anyone of you free tonight? I need a favor.”
“I still have dance practice after class. Sorry, I need to prepare for the competition.”, Yugyeom answered.
“I don’t have anything. What do you plan to do?” Bambam asked.
You sighed, “Okay, so… this is going to sound really stupid. But I had a project for astronomy and I forgot all about it. I was supposed to record the position of the stars from the observatory and I haven’t been there yet. And I have to submit it tomorrow. So, please come with me?”
“Yeah, it does sound stupid. But, okay.”, Bambam shrugged.
“Really?! Thanks, Bammie!!! You’re the best!”
Bambam was smiling back at you smugly, but inside, it makes him feel good that you rely on him and wouldn’t want you to ask anyone else.
“But you have to make sure we get home before midnight.”, he warned.
“Yes, Cinderella. I promise. See you after class.”
**
“Here you go.” You handed over a sketch pad and pencil to Bambam as you settled down on the mat under the star-filled sky with your own sketch pad and pencil on your lap.
“What am I gonna do with this?”, Bambam asked as he raised the sketch pad to your face.
You lowered it down from him. “I can’t be the only one who’s doing the assignment, Bam. You have to do it with me.”
“This was not part of the deal you know.”
“There never was a deal.”, you grinned. “Alright, so we have to locate… the big dipper and the Polaris.” You say as you read off the assignment print out. Putting down the paper, the two of you looked at the sky.
“Polaris… is that one?” Bambam asked, pointing to the brightest star above them.
“Yeah, I think so. Then, that would make that one the big dipper?” You asked, drawing the dipper with your fingers pointing at a group of stars.
“Maybe.”, Bambam shrugged, “This is your assignment, I have no idea.”
You turned to face him unamused, frowning. He looked down at you and chuckled. “Okay, okay. Let me google. Hold on.” He flipped out his phone and searched for ‘Big Dipper’
“Hmmm…” he raised his phone, with the image of Big Dipper on the screen, comparing it with the stars you pointed earlier.
“That looks like it.” You whispered, and he turned his head to you and was surprised to see your face too close to his, his lips almost brushing up against yours.
He flushed and cleared his throat, “Let’s draw it, then?”
You were taken aback and cleared your throat too, “Yup.”, you had to control the fast beating of your heart. You had always wondered how Bambam’s lips would feel like.
While sketching you instructed, “It says to include the horizon and landmarks too. And to show the size as accurately as possible.”
“Yes, ma’am.”, Bambam acknowledged. Now focused in drawing the stars on his sketch pad.
After a few seconds, he showed it to you, “Does this do?”
The stars were clearly drawn well. You weren’t surprised. Bambam has always been artistic. He’s quick with the sketch but his drawings are superior to whatever chicken scratches that was on your pad.
You nodded, and gave him a thumbs-up, “Very good!”
“Okay, so now we can go?”, he got up and patted his pants.
You held on to his wrist, “Wait, no! Not yet. We have to plot the stars every hour.”
“Every hour?” Bambam was incredulous, he checked his watch which shows it a few minutes past 7 PM. He plopped back to sit beside you on the mat “…and would you mind telling me how many hours?”
You patted his back, “The teacher said 4 hours would suffice. Don’t worry, it’s just 30 minutes trip back home. I promised to get you back home by midnight, didn’t I, Cinderella?”
Bambam grumbled, but you both know he doesn’t really get mad at you.
The hours went by with you two talking about the usual. School activities, gossips around town, the chances of Yugyeom winning the dance competition, and almost everything else except what was really on both of your minds at the moment. The ‘soulmate’ mark.
Bambam doesn’t want to tell you he’s scared of having or not having the ‘soulmate’ mark because that would make you ask him why he’s scared in the first place.
He’s scared that he wouldn’t be granted to have it. And that would mean you were meant for someone else.
He’s also scared that if he’d be granted to have it, that it would have a different pattern from yours. And that would mean he is also destined for someone else.
He’s scared. And he has been scared ever since he knew about the ‘soulmate’ mark and how it works. Scared ever since he knew he has fallen in love with you. And until now, he doesn’t want to end up with anyone else but you. He’s scared which is why he never tell anyone about how he feels because he doesn’t want to burden you with it.
But what he doesn’t know is you also love him. He doesn’t know that the reason why you tried to scrub it off is because you’re scared the great stars have a different person planned for you than the one who is in your heart ever since you were little. He doesn’t know that it was because of him that you cried that night on your birthday.
“And that’s it!” You cheered as you closed the sketch book and got up from the mat. You reached your hand to Bambam to help him get up and he took it. He gave you his sketch book and you put it on your bag while he folded the mat you both sat on.
“I can finally go home.” He said lifelessly.
“We can finally go home!” you cheered.
You both were walking towards the bus stop.
You stopped to look at him, and quietly said, “Thank you for coming with me. I know your mind is full of worries right now, but you still came with me.”
“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” He said, and his eyes were sincere. You hated him like this. This is one of those moments that he just says something sincere and cool and that just made you flustered and before you know it, you’re falling deeper in love with him. Looking at his eyes, you just felt your heart beat faster again.
His words, which you wanted to hold onto, which made you fall for him further, meant your fear just gotten bigger. ‘What if he never got a mark? What if his mark is different from yours? Does this mean what you feel for him now meant nothing?’
He grabbed your hand and then resumed walking to the bus stop, and you let him. You walked with him, step by step, his hand on yours. And you don’t know why tears are threatening to come out of your eyes.
It was quarter past 11 PM when you arrived at the bus stop, you checked the bus number from the schedule. You checked, and double checked but it looks like you just missed the bus and the next one won’t be out until after another hour.
Bambam breathed in deep. “Great.”
“Sorry, I’m an idiot Bam. I’m so sorry, I didn’t check ahead.” You looked at him and you couldn’t read his expression.
“Let’s go back.” He said. It doesn’t look like he’s angry, but he’s rather calm.
“Go back?” you asked.
“We’ll be waiting for an hour anyway, let’s wait under the stars.”
**
You were now lying on the mat side by side, looking at the stars above.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you something too.” Bambam said breaking the silence.
You looked up to him while on your back. “What is it?”
He was still staring at the sky.
“I love you.” he said it so naturally that it made your whole world stop and you couldn’t speak.
“I have loved you for a long time.
I love you so much, I think this must’ve been what soulmates feel like.
But then, you suddenly had a mark, and suddenly I doubted if I was supposed feel this way or no. Why do I have to feel this way towards you when you were made for someone else? That’s what I thought.
And I prayed every single night since then for them to give me that same mark as you, because I wouldn’t know how to live if it were not.”
He shifted a bit, but you were still silently listening to him.
“Anyway, I debated if I should tell you this or not. To confess to you or not. Because I wouldn’t know if we’re meant to be or not.
Until tomorrow.
But then, I thought, wouldn’t it be better if I tell you this not knowing if we’re soulmates?
Telling you I love you without the great stars forcing me to. Telling you I chose you without the great star’s help.
Isn’t it better this way?”
Bambam turned to look at you now and was surprised to see you in tears and he chuckled a bit, “Why are you crying, idiot?”
You hit him with your fist, “It’s because I love you too, you jerk! But I don’t know what will happen tomorrow and I’ve been scared too!”
He chuckled again and then hugged you, stroking your hair, “Don’t be. I’m still hoping it’s me and you in the end.”
After a few minutes you both got up and prepared to go back to the bus stop.
While standing, your phone alarm went off and you swiped it to turn it off. Your phone shows its already midnight.
You looked at Bambam, sniffing and wiping your tears, you tried hard to smile to him, “Happy Birthday.”
He smiled back, “Thank you.” and slowly, he leaned in and kissed your lips.
Yes, you always wondered how Bambam’s lips would feel like. And it felt like home. Like warm blanket on a winter’s night. Like freshly made cookies. It warms you and you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.
If there’s anything like soulmates, wouldn’t it feel like this?
As he pulled away you both couldn’t help but look at the back of his hand. It glowed as the symbols magically appeared one by one.
Three hollow five-point stars lined up together, the middle star slightly larger than the other two.