#fostercareisweird

[fosterateentheysaid]

You guys!!

B wanted to go to a girl's house, but her parents are out of town and I don't know the relative who is staying with her, so I said no. And he called me a wordy dird and stormed away as per usual. 

But. A minute later, he poked his head into sister's room where I was trying to rebuild a bookshelf, and he said, "Sarah? I still hate you, but I only hate you a little bit more than usual. I don't hate you a lot more than usual." And then he cheerfully went off to play video games. I feel like I won some sort of bizarre alternate universe preteen affection lottery!

[fosterateentheysaid]

If you come to my house, you'll notice that my living room has gotten smaller. That's because I live in a small corner of that room. Boys and girls, even siblings 15 months apart who are joined at the hip, aren't allowed to share a bedroom in foster care, so to bring our girl home, I had to improvise a way for them to each have their own bedroom. 

I've had my daughter home for seven nights, and for seven nights, my son has slept on her floor, reunited and refusing to be apart from her again.  For seven nights, I've slept in the living room and my son's bedroom has sat empty. 

This is all by way of saying that I desperately love my foster children ... but foster care itself can be kind of stupid. As most systems can.

[fosterateentheysaid]

In the "can't make this shit up" department ...

Girlchild had a falling-out with her only friend at her new school. I've had a heck of a time getting her to go to school since then, and this morning she had a full-on shaking, crying panic attack when we came in sight of the building. She ended up getting classwork from her teachers and working in my classroom (I work in the building).

So this evening a different school friend invited my girl to the trampoline park. Yay, right? A friend!! So on zero notice, we hopped in the car and zipped out to the city. 

Except.

I can’t even tell y’all this, man.

Except, at the very last minute, we took a wrong turn up a hill and there was no where to turn around for ages

because there were all these chain link fences 

Because

Because IT WAS THE JAIL WHERE THEIR MOM IS INCARCERATED. 

I didn't even know what city it was in. WHAT WERE THE ODDS IT WAS ONE LEFT TURN AWAY FROM THE TRAMPOLINE PARK? 

Girlchild starts cry-laughing and shouts,  "Go here, stop here, I want to see my mommy! I miss you,  mommy!"

And Boychild calmly says,  "Good job, Sarah. Way to retraumatize us."

[fosterateentheysaid]

"I'm calling because my thirteen-year-old daughter is suddenly showing symptoms of being allergic to the cats. It's been six months and it's only now becoming a problem."

"Ok, so you've had the cat six months, and ..."

"Oh - no - I've had the kid six months, I've had the cat six years."

[fosterateentheysaid]

There is a whole backstory going on that I just don't have the energy to type, but I need to tell you this one piece. The social worker in charge of my daughter’s case, who had never once been to our home, finally stopped by today. She came into the house, said hello to the animals, and, upon noticing our oldest, ill kitty, she immediately told my daughter a story about how her own daughter woke up one morning to discover their elderly cat deceased and stiff.  My kid is terrified of death and will be ruminating on that one in the coming days, I guarantee. You can't make this shit up.