it’s not right , is it? to have him, a somewhat stranger, a MARRIED man, her neighbor so close to her she can her his heartbeat, its sound pounding a comforting lull; to be holding onto him with a grasp fiercer than death itself, tears staining the front of his shirt, their color matching the dark smudges circling her sea-colored gaze.
her growing grief, her silent sobs----they are racking her slight frame, fingers curled into fabric, dark locks unruly as she struggles to still herself. PAIN-----it stains every part of her, burning her edges like a hungry flame. there’s a prayer on the tip of her tongue, words she has been trained to speak: pardons for mercy and forgiveness, for strength to forget this tragedy, for purity to replace any and all thoughts that had led her to this place. but instead of holy phrases carefully and cautiously strung together, there is only one word that drops from her lips, its taste in her mouth more SACRED than any prayer she’d ever said before.
there’s a pause, room for her to suck in a shaking breath, lifting up her pale face just enough to meet her cyan eyes to his, her voice soft, dripping with a desperation.
“please don’t leave me alone.”
and in spite of their closeness, in spite of the sheets, in spite of any compromising position she might be in, kate is drowning, feels herself slipping away; and it is seth, a man, flesh and blood and lust in one, not thoughts of any god that keep her afloat.
forgive me father,
for i have sinned,
and i feel no remorse.
