Where has the time gone?
I have made it to the Capitol at last. The glimmering buildings were the colour of flames when our train arrived from the East, the sun falling lazily into the horizon before us, beyond this place. The people are peculiar, all like Darling, who has not stopped bantering on and on, talking about the Tributes, and me and Reoan. She's convinced that this love thing is going to bring her more press in the Capitol leading up to the Games. She's hasn't said it explicitly, but she most definitely insists I stay by Reoan's side at all times.
Like when we were on the train. I sat in the seat next to Reoan, Darling had left no other place. Rosie and Bran were sitting across the row. Rosie had just stopped crying, Bran still hadn't spoken. After trying, without success to calm Rosie and Bran, Darling had left them to their own devices and began talking with Reoan. I looked out the window at the passing fields. I wasn't sure if we were even still in 9. I remember hoping that we were.
"But you two are just going to be the most talked about thing in the Capitol," She smiled, and her oversized eyelashes caused her to look like her eyes were closed. "Apart from The Games, of course." She added with a high-pitched laugh, as if it were the funniest thing in the world. As if she weren't in a train car with two children who were most likely going to die in that Arena.
Reoan was very quiet, but he didn't stop holding my hand. I understood. We had each other. We weren't alone.
The accommodations provided are beyond explanation. I thought that Reoan's home in The Victor's Village was opulent, but this is over the top. There are all sorts of panels and buttons, I pressed one out of curiosity and a steaming hot cup of tea appeared on the table in front of me. I was shocked.
Reoan is sitting on the couch, silent. I walk into the sitting room and I sit next to him. He puts his arm around me and I say nothing. After all of this movement of the past few days, we just lay in silence and enjoy each other's touch.
My mind went back to Friday. The Reapings.
When I came out of the bathroom, Reoan had the garment bag lying on the bed. My Reaping dress. Reoan was wearing a simple pastel blue button down shirt with a thin black tie, still untucked from his khaki pants. I rushed over to the bed, still in my towel. "My Reaping dress!" I exclaimed. Reoan's face melted into melancholic pleasure. He gestured for me to open it. My fingers fumbled with the zipper. I couldn't imagine what he had in store for me. I certainly was shocked when I finally opened the bag.
It was a simple muted yellow dress, billowy fabric on the bottom and a fitted bodice, and gold flecks lining the neckline. This was the dress that Collina wore when she was Reaped. With Reoan. I felt all the air rush out of me. I sat down on the bed, still holding the dress in my hands. Reoan sat next to me. "I've had it, all this time. I thought she would want it. It would be a tribute to her. I had Elyées alter it so it would fit you." I still couldn't find words. "You don't have to wear it if you--"
I cut him off, putting my fingers on his lips. I stroked his cheek and then kissed him deeply. "There's nothing else I would rather wear." As I pulled on the dress, it felt like Collina was back with me. Somehow, wearing that dress made me feel stronger.
The next thing I know, I'm standing on that platform. Darling Keikos rambling on about the Hunger Games and what an honour it is to be chosen to represent your district..blah blah blah. It's what we hear every year. And now that I have seen the damage inflicted even on the one who survives, it takes all I have not to break down right there.
As Darling reached for the girl tribute's name, I scanned the crowd, I saw Fiore, I saw Elyées with Dr. Everfield. I saw Evelyn. I looked into all of their faces and I saw the devastation.
Rosie. Our girl tribute. Flaming red hair, no more than thirteen but the size of a child much younger. Looking at her as she made her way to the platform, I feel almost guilty that I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't someone I knew whose name Darling called.
She joined Reoan and I on the platform as Darling prepared to call the male tribute. I saw Reoan touch her shoulder in comfort.
Bran. A boy whose dark eyes harbour thoughts that I would rather keep at bay.
And that was it. It was over. But not for me. I scurried down the stairs and in the flurry of activity somehow found my way onto the train. Elysée had found me, I explained that I was leaving.
As I sat in the train, looking at District 9 from inside that vessel that was going to take me away from it for the first time, I really felt the gravity of my decision. And I still feel it now. Every time I look out the window and see the bustling metropolis that exists just beyond the glass I am horrified by the decision I've made, by what I'm going to do. The only comfort I take in the situation is sitting right next to me, holding me as our minds survey the landscape.
I can tell it's eating at Reoan; he has to lead these children, to what he knows is a certain death. How can our small Tributes stand up to the Careers? Reoan was twice their size and he still almost died in that Arena. "Tell me what you're thinking." I say in a whisper, wanting to get out of my head.
Reoan sighs shakily. That's when I feel his tears, and then he tells me.
