from Marian, to Alex (7/17/13)
Dear Alex,
Happy eighteenth birthday. I'm so unbelievably happy that you're in my life - even if I'm your jailbait. Amirite or wat. You can vote, drink in Canada's capital, be put in prison instead of juvenile hall. All those perks aside, you get to go to university now! How exciting. I hope you don't forget me once you start living in your dorms. I know it can be stressful, but I'll always be a shoulder you can rest on. If the uni life becomes hard, I'll be here. You can rely on me.
I love your absolute darling face, my dear. You're handsome and have the best smile I've seen in my life. I wish I could make you smile all the time. You deserve to be happy all the time and I hope all your dorm mates can be awesome as you are. Mwah, Mwah. Mwah, You're amazing, Alex. You're my favourite person in the whole world. I miss seeing you in that adorable argyle blue sweater of yours, but summer will soon come to an end. (I'm watching a show with a guy that's wearing a sweater similar to yours) May I wear it some day?
Before this gets ridiculously long, I hope that my letter comes today or tomorrow. I hope your pervy face lives up to expectation. I'm so unbelievably in love with you. Please be with me forever.
Yours forever, Marian.