I’ve learned my father smokes finding his burnt matches floating in the toilet after extended periods in the shower with no wet hair to show for it where he is just as content as I to not leave the walls of the apartment and to wallow in everything we don’t have and I can’t help it but to think back about that one night where all I could do was sit upon the rooftop staring out into the city lights and remark on what wonderful lives we lead to have the option to see such a view and when I stated this to you you simply commented back “you’re so high” because its sadly out of character for me to see such beauty in my life and I wondered if you loved me as strongly as the words spilling from my mouth or if instead of passion we just have this comfort in knowing and I don’t know if that’s better still but I can’t help but relish the idea of living a life with you and maybe at some point compromising on how hot our showers should be so we can have wet hair together and no matches to show for it