#frozen flames

[soopersara]

I got the urge to paint this weekend, so this happened!

What better way to spend precious writing time on than cover art for an unfinished fic, right?

Anyway, I like how this turned out enough to share it (now I can hopefully exercise some self control and not publish the fic until it’s finished). If you want to know what the deal is with the color scheme, I’m putting a short description of the fic under the cut, otherwise enjoy my smurf!Zuko 🙃

Upcoming fic: Frozen Flames

After the Agni Kai, Zuko dreams about burning. And every time, he wakes up cold. The flames in his dreams extinguish the fire in his stomach and Zuko has to fight to regain control over his bending—and to hide his problem from the world—before he freezes to death. 

A Zuko-centric retelling of canon focused on his struggles with firebending and nightmares, some Zutara at the end.

Hahahaha, get it? Frozen Flames? Because Zuko’s firebending is frozen... and Zuko is cold... hence the blue Zuko... yeah, it’s not that clever a title. But I think it’s a cool concept and I think it’ll be a cool fic, and I already love the painting. This sucker is going on my bedroom wall. 

I actually have one of the five chapters of this fic finished, but since Chapter 1 is incredibly short compared with the other four... it seems like a wise choice to keep it to myself for now. But keep an eye out! It’ll be coming eventually!

[soopersara]

👀

So I've been slowly building up a PILE of fics that I want to post someday, and this is one that I'm super proud of: working title is Frozen Flames and it's basically a Zuko-centric angst storm where his nightmares have physical effects (he temporarily loses his bending). Anywho:

-

A small corner of Zuko's mind, the part that is still more child than anything, still clings to hope that firebending lessons will teach him how reclaim his bending back when his dreams steal it away. Maybe there is an ancient technique for lighting the fire inside him--Uncle is always carrying on about the importance of ancient traditions and rituals and firebending forms that no one in his right mind would ever have cause to use.

But when Uncle agrees to a firebending lesson--on the condition that Zuko share a pot of tea with him afterward--it is more of the same breathing exercises and dull, simple forms that he should have left behind more than three years ago. Zuko roars through the sequence, angry flames bursting from his hands and his feet more readily than ever. That should be enough. That should prove that he's ready for more than this childish drudgery.

Uncle sighs and shakes his head. "You are still not controlling your breath, Prince Zuko. Without control, power is irrelevant."

Zuko's hands are shaking, his vision starting to blur, but he turns to Lieutenant Jee and roars, "Again!" He will get it right. He will spar until he collapses if that's what it takes.

"No." Uncle's voice is firm and steady. "You are dismissed, Lieutenant." Steely eyes land on Zuko.

"You can't do that! You promised to train me, Uncle."

"I promised an hour." Uncle folds his hands over his ample stomach. "You have had your hour."

Zuko blinks. His eyelids drag and his mind swims. Was that the agreement? He is too tired to recall the exact words, and with every moment he stands still, he feels a little foggier, a little nearer to collapse.

"And," Uncle adds, now smiling, "I believe I was promised a pot of tea. Join me, Prince Zuko."

Uncle's tone allows neither discussion nor negotiation, but Zuko doesn't sit. He can't. Though the sun still sits high in the sky, he knows it is late, that the cold is deepening, that the perilous hours of frigid darkness are drawing nearer. If he dares to sit, he will sleep. If he sleeps, he will freeze.

Zuko plants his feet and crosses his arms tight across his chest. "Fine."

One of Uncle's eyebrows creeps upward. "Do you not wish to sit, Prince Zuko?"

"Just pour the tea, Uncle."

With a sigh and a smile, the old man obliges.

The cup feels good in his hands, though he can't quite hold it steady, and Zuko tosses most of the tea back in a single swallow. The warmth will help, he tells himself. If he can bear to stay in the cold, he can hold out against sleep a while longer.

It isn't until the second sip hits the back of his throat that Zuko recognizes the sticky bitterness--that he is momentarily transported back to those first few nights in the ship, when he was thirteen and too frightened to be left alone with his memories after sunset. He is already so tired that the effects hit like a stone in the middle of his chest. Before he can decide to spit out the drink in hopes of staying conscious, of doing this on his terms, he is reeling.

"Uncle," he croaks as the cup slips through his fingers.

He doesn't see the old man move--his vision is darkening, narrowing by the instant--but a broad hand catches his arm and another closes on his opposite shoulder. Zuko falls.

-

The soft, familiar flicker of his bedside lamp greets him when he wakes. Zuko blinks blearily at the little flame. He can't remember the last time he filled the lamp nor when he trimmed the wick, yet the flame is faithful as ever.

"I am sorry, Nephew," Uncle says, his voice a quiet rumble from near the foot of his bed. "I did not expect the effects to be so sudden."

Zuko stares at the lamp. Fog obscures the edges of his thoughts, but he can still taste the bitter drug that Uncle stirred into his tea while Zuko wasn't looking. He can feel its weight in his veins. He hates it. His limbs feel disconnected from his body, and his mind is sluggish, useless in this state.

"I did not wish to deceive you."

Zuko keeps his eyes fixed on the lamp. The flame is lower than he would like, but he can't find the energy to reach out and adjust the wick--he isn't sure he needs to. His mind is too hazy to form a coherent thought, much less an elaborate inferno of a nightmare. He needs no safeguards against dreams if his mind can't create them.

"A man cannot live without rest." Uncle adopts his teaching voice. "It is dangerous to think otherwise."

A sour feeling rises in his stomach. Uncle acts like he has a choice. Like Zuko would live this way--resisting sleep, fighting with all his strength to avoid even the possibility of a nightmare--if his life didn't hang in the balance. Like he is a child, still driven by fear rather than reason. It isn't the dreams or the darkness that scares him now. It is the knowledge that any time he closes his eyes to sleep might be his last, that here, at the frigid end of the world, his few defenses are useless.

"You are all I have left, Nephew. I cannot lose you because you because you are too proud to rest."

Uncle wants acknowledgement, forgiveness. Zuko can hear it in his voice. But the bitter taste in his mouth, the sharp knowledge that Uncle didn't even ask--they refuse to fade. And as much as it burns, Zuko doesn't have the energy or the clarity left to fight. He stares at the flickering lamp, and when Uncle comes nearer, angling into Zuko's ever-narrowing field of vision, he refuses to look at the old man. He is too tired, too heavy to move, but Zuko rolls onto his other side and presses his eyes shut. Sleep is all he has the strength for. This is what Uncle wanted. If he wants a conversation as well, he will have to wait.

-

Thanks for the ask! More are welcome, I have way too many fics started!

[soulbrisingr]

It's been forever I know and I'm truly sorry for that, but like most of you I've been busy with exams and such, but I've finally had time to write something for this. I hope its ok and that the few people who still read it will enjoy it xD 

[soulbrisingr]

Pssst elsanna people, I dunno if some of your remember me or not (author of frozen flames) but it doesn't matter, I just wanted to say I've finished my exams and I can start writing my fanfiction again which I'm actually doing right this second, I'm going to try and update as soon as possible since I know it's been a long long time since I last update. I'm sooo sorry about the wait but I hope it's worth it in the end. See you guys soon with an update for frozen flames!

[soulbrisingr]

Need a break

So I'm sure your all aware that it's exam season, and I have quite a few exams coming up, but I feel like I'm going to explode and ughhh I'm so stressed out!!! I need something to calm me down, something I can do for a while without feeling guilty about not doing revision instead. And so here's what I'm hopefully gonna do this weekend, as a break from reality but at the same time can be seen as a form of revision for my English. I'm going to do some writing for frozen flames and hopefully/maybe get one or two chapters uploaded to ff.net! I'm not promising anything but I am saying that I will do my best to get something written this weekend because I know it's been a long time since I uploaded a chapter for frozen flames an I feel bad because it was just getting good as well and I've been in that position of reading a fanfic and it getting good then not getting updated for ages. So yeah for anyone reading this who is someone who reads frozen flames then don't fret for you should get a new chapter soon and I apologise for leaving you in the dark for so long! Also sorry for the long post in the tag :')

[soulbrisingr]

hey hey hey guys!!! i'm back with another chapter for you all to read and hopefully enjoy! please go read and review and let me know what you think!  

[soulbrisingr]

It's been a while since i've updated and i'm so so sorry about that, i've had school work and other things on my plate to deal with, but its finished and uploaded now so i hope you guys enjoy :D

[soulbrisingr]

Hiya guys! Back again with another chapter, sorry for the wait but hopefully the length of the chapter will make up for that :) Hope you guys like it, let me know what you think :P