Destroy what destroys you But I destroy myself; I destroy myself. — Sandra Simonds
➢ T A S K T W O
November 16, 2018.
She’d had breakups less painful. Another warning letter trembled in Katrina’s hands, the font aggressive in it’s bold type face, it’s capital letters. She knew the colour of an eviction notice-- there had been one on their door last month, but she’d snatched it down before Marzena had gotten home. Kat remembered shoving it deep into the garbage bin, under the tins of wet cat food, the orange peels, a soggy filter coated in coffee grounds. She’d gone to the landlord first, letting blue eyes well with easy tears-- perhaps film school hadn’t of been a waste, she’d begged for another month to get their affairs in order. He consented and the tears had dried up before she left his office.
Now, there was no back-up plan, there was less money than the month prior and there was no cushion to fall back in. There was nowhere safe for the two of them to land, there were no more doors to knock on, no more untapped wells to beg money from. On a sleepless night, Katrina had worked out their futures, she did it with headphones in as she paced around the five steps that made the circumference of her bedroom. Leonard Cohen crooned in her ear about the taking of Manhattan. Her heart hammered in her chest. Marz would pack up their belongings, the cats and her ceramics; she had a place in Greenpoint with her parents. There was a corner of New York that she was still welcome in, and in that place she’d recover from the blow that this would sledge into their lives.
Katrina had peered into her crystal ball, and every avenue and every hidden special place of the city seemed to roll it’s doors shut on her. It was a magical place, one that they had promised to conquer. She’d once found a home in the belly of New York and now, it was spitting her out. Her home was not a home, it was just a place to have grown up. There was a job offer, it sat in her email like a plank that she had little desire to walk-- but it was a safety net, suspending across the county in a state that she only knew vaguely about.
Seattle was an awfully far way from home. As a habit, she chewed at the inside of her cheek and as the door opened and Marz sang her greeting to the creatures that lived within the apartment, she tongued at the raw flesh.
“What’s wrong?”
There was little to be done to hide the way that her eyes welled up, the letter that shook in her hands. Her best friend slowly eased it from her grip, reading the words silently. She wanted desperately to be able to hear what went through her mind-- to piece together what she could do to lessen the blow. For Marz she was certain she’d lay flat over a landmine, but now, as the other girl’s lower lip trembled and she pulled her glasses away from her face, it seemed as though the force would flatten them both.
“We’re going to lose the apartment.” She was speaking calmly, Katrina realized-- and for that she attributed the hundreds of times she had worked this scenario out before.
“We can get another one.”
“I can’t.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I’m going to go to Seattle.”
Marz’s features crumbled and Kat raised her arms, curving them around her friend. “I’m gonna come back.”