Full Flight by Ashley Schumacher
"The pain is in the absence, I think. Not in the love."
About: Anna is one of few people in the small town of Enfield, Texas to join the school band as a freshman, which leaves her constantly scrambling to catch up with everyone else. When she's given a duet with Weston Ryan, the boy who's trouble and may or may not have murdered the school tree, she's worried she'll never be able to get it right. But Weston turns out to be an excellent tutor, and the more she gets to know him, the more she realizes how much the town has misjudged him. If her parents find out they're dating, she'll be in a world of trouble, but Weston is the one person who makes Anna feel like it's okay to be completely herself. When the unthinkable happens, Anna has to find a way to move forward without a partner to answer her call. I received an invitation to read a free e-ARC through NetGalley from the publishers at St. Martin’s Press. Trigger warnings: character death, car accidents, divorce, bullying, vomiting, grief.
Thoughts: I enjoyed Amelia Unabridged despite its sadness, so I thought I was prepared for the sadness of this book. I was wrong. I finished it in the morning, and the gloom of it hung over me for the rest of the day and my face hurt from crying so much. Little known fact about me: sometimes crying makes me mad (and the reverse is also true: make me mad enough and I'll probably cry, which makes me more mad, etc. it's not a fun cycle), so all the feelings walking away from this book were Smad. There are a handful of books I feel are worth crying over (Looking for Alaska, The Song of Achilles), but this isn't one of them. It's just grief with no silver lining. Tragic shit happens and there's no message or meaning in it. While I find that useful as a life strategy--sometimes things just hurt, and there is no why--it's not that satisfying in fiction.
Further, knowing that the Big Tragic Thing was coming limited my enjoyment of the rest of the book. It's hard to get invested in characters when I know something bad is coming for them (the main reason I have never read They Both Die at the End-- it's right there in the title!), so I struggled to get invested in Anna and Weston's relationship. I like them well enough as characters, and I like the character development that their relationship brings about. I like Anna's relationship with her family and Weston's with Ratio. All are well done. But I read a lot of YA romances (weirdly? somehow? how did this happen? I'm supposed to be the horror girl.), and some work well for both adults and YA while some feel very YA, and Full Flight is the latter. That's not in any way a bad thing; it's actually perfect for its audience, but as an adult, I found it hard to connect with some very teenage problems.
One thing I've noticed about both of Schumacher's books is how deeply entrenched they are in a certain topic. Amelia Unabridged is a love letter to books and fandom, and as a book lover it was like sinking into a cozy bath. Readers are my people. Full Flight is organized around the school band, and I emphatically do not relate. I can see band kids really loving it, but I quickly got tired of reading about marching and band practice and uniforms and Gilligans. But that's the problem with books that are so immersive. The very thing I didn't enjoy about it is probably going to be the thing that makes it someone else's favorite book. I don't have any reservations about recommending Full Flight to someone who finds the premise interesting. It does what it sets out to do, and it does it fairly well. But in terms of things I enjoy (and my ratings reflect enjoyment at least as much as anything else), I found it needlessly sad.