★ five times my muse though yours looked breath-taking, and the one time they voice it
The first time Simon notices that Axel is absolutely stunning, he keeps his mouth shut because they’re studying and they really need to focus on passing this Biology test. He just bites his lip and keeps this interesting piece of information to himself.
The second time, Axel’s just strolled into class and he’s handing Simon coffee and he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. His hair is shining a deep golden-brown and it’s messy and he’s got the laziest but sweetest smile on his face.
The third time, it’s 4A.M. and the dim fairy lights in Simon’s room are illuminating and shading Axel’s face in different ways with each flicker. He almost reaches out to trace his jaw with his thumb. He decides not too.
The fourth time, Simon’s waking up and he’s in the same bed as Axel and he’s confused, he’s fully clothed, what even happened? He looks around, blinking his eyes as he tried to wake up. He sees the laptop at the end of the bed, were they just watching a movie? But he can’t finish that thought process as his eyes land on Axel’s sleeping face and he just looks... So soft and innocent. Nothing like the boy Simon knows now.
The fifth time, there’s a slight skip of his heart when Simon realizes that he has a stunning best friend. He’s always known, from the moment they met, but every time Axel does something to prove it even more. Today, he’s just happy. It can be seen in his eyes, they’re sparkling and his smile is making them crinkle and look adorable.
The sixth time, Simon can’t hold his tongue. “You’re just amazing, y’know that right?” He asks as he passes Axel the bottle. And maybe it’s the booze that’s gotten rid of his filter, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s slowly losing his grip on reality, or maybe it’s just Axel really is one of the most breath-taking people ever, but he can finally tell him, and he loves that he was able too.
☪ five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do.
The first time, Simon needs it. He needs to hold someone’s hand because he thinks he might start crying and he needs to squeeze something or disappear quickly. And Axel’s hand is right there and Axel wouldn’t mind right? But before he can do anything, Axel’s hand is gone and Simon’s already getting up to go have a good cry in the bathroom.
The second time, Axel looks like he needs to hold someone’s hand. Or maybe that’s just something Simon can sense. He’s known the boy a while now, he knows how his mind works and how things make him feel. But Simon’s nervous. What if he crosses some sort of boundary? Besides, he’s never held anyone else’s hand before. At least not outside of a relationship context. And not recently, aside from Jesse and Gabe. He just nudges Axel instead, “you’re alright...” He whispers softly.
The third time, it’s just because Simon feels like a lost little kid and Axel seems adult enough to guide him. He needed to find himself again, he wished he could, he wished that just holding Axel’s hand that things would be made instantly better. But that wasn’t going to happen, so what was the point?
The fourth time, Axel is complaining about how his hands are cold and Simon’s reaching across the table to warm them up when Elliot beats him too it. And that’s fine, it really is. There’s no emotional weight with warming up your friends hands, in fact it’s probably cuter if your... Kind of boyfriend is doing it, but Simon’s “ultimate friend mode” had kicked in which had him thinking ahead of himself.
The fifth time, they’re watching a movie and the backs of their hands are touching and it’s not that big a deal if they do it or if they don’t, but Simon just wanted some closeness. It was selfish really, if he really needed something, he could always text Jesse and apologize to Axel and say he had to go.
The sixth time, Simon needs it and Axel needs it and before he can even think, he’s squeezing Axel’s hand. He’s shut his own eyes tightly and refuses to look at him, or even say anything. And for the longest time, he expects Axel to pull away, but he doesn’t. Finally, Simon peaks an eye open and he sees the look of gratitude on the males face and he smiles back. Things were difficult, sure, but they’d get better with time.
