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Today this guy at work was "making fun" of the nut allergy I have. I said I hated getting candy with nuts in it because then I can't eat it, so he said "Kas you know you like nuts" Then I followed with " no I don't, I'm allergic" Him: " nah man. You don't get it, I don't mean walnuts and stuff" So I said " uhg. No *his name* I'm gay you dumbass" He started laughing so hard he had a tear falling. That's all.
I swear I've been hearing people's voices just say one work or a short phrase lately. I'll hear someone call my name at work and nobody did and just a few minutes ago I heard a faint "okay" from my living room and it's really freaking me out now.
Princess Kendra wants to talk.
Do you ever miss somebody so much, that seeing someone who is close to them actually hurts you.
UGH
You know, I've been doing a lot better sense the whole thing with my brother has happened. I haven’t cut in so long, I’m actually trying to bring my grades up, but you know what that just isnt enough. I get home everyday and am so stressed that I don’t know what to do, and on top of this all with my brother, I have to cook for my dad and sister when shes here and make sure my father takes his meds and I know its just a simple thing but teaching an Autistic kid math and reading takes alot out of me. I look fine and act fine around other people but once I’m home and its just me and Dad I look so sad and beat up, I look and feel awful but I know I need to write this damn paper and be at school by 6am tomorrow morning and then do it all again tomorrow. Every night this week I have cried because of the way that my stepdad makes me feel and that my mom doesnt do anything about it. I want my mom and I to be close and I know I’ll never get that.
Crayonzzz: Malachite
Something I love: Choir, and if it wasnt for choir I wouldnt be at the school I go to or be happy(ish). Choir and singing are what keeps me going. Or maybe my sister, I love her and shes a thing to me so..
Crayon Asks: 1-19
CRAYON COLOR ASKS
Bubble Gum: Gender? Unknown as of right now, I guess more llike gender-less?
Almond: Hair color? Well its supposed to Black, but its closer to brownish black I guess.
Aquamarine: Eye color? Brown, Pretty brown though
Asparagus: Birthday? January 2nd!
Cerise: First name? Kasandra, but I go by Kas, or Kasie
Dandelion: Middle name? Jo
Leather Jacket: Long or short hair? Right now, mine is medium-ish.
Pink Sherbert: Short or tall? I’m hecka tall
Lavender: Braces? I’ve had them 5 times on top and four on the bottom teeth and I’ll have them again about 6-8 weeks aftem my wisdom teeth are removed.
Manatee: Smoker or non smoker? Smoking is bad and cigs are gross.
Mountain Meadow: Drank or still drink alcohol? Used too more often than I do now, but once and a while I’ll take a shot or two
Wisteria: Ever done drugs? Well, yeah not even going to try to lie
Emerald: Favorite thing about yourself? I really like my hands and eyes, most days.
Black Shadows: Something you're allergic to? Ugh cats and peanuts.
Denim: Any diseases? Not that I know of?
Raw Umber: Sexual orientation? Unknown as of right now
Misty Moss: Kissed anyone other than family? yeepp
Outer Space: Had sex? UGh. <<< final answer
Shadow: Name of crush? tbh I don’t really have a crush right now,
I literally can not take this anymore. I can not have him yelling at me for not having a job. I know I need to get one and I am actively working on it. Yes my mom did buy my prom dress. But we got it so cheap that you should be happy that it wasnt the original price. You should just be happy that I’m going and getting out of the house with some new friends.Yes I do activities like softball and choirs but those are the things that I love to do. Those are the things that I need to keep in my life so I can still have my release and get out the stress that being in highschool brings. I can’t do this Not with everything else thats going on. Its way too much.
I’m so not okay. I can’t do this anymore.
