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MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 17: THE PRINCESS OF NOWHERE (2010)

1. The Introduction

Hello, Dear Neighbors. Thank you for joining the party today. I’m feeling better, fortunately, and I’m ready to analyze media again.

Fittingly, today we’re talking about Pauline Bonaparte, the woman who had a scandalous reputation back in the day and seems like a typical party girl. Since I do like the woman, I’ve always been curious as to what kind of media is out there that tells her story.

Sure, there’s the movie called “Imperial Venus”, but it looks like Pauline is far more obscure than some of her family members (and don’t even get me started on Napoleon). So you can imagine how intrigued I was after stumbling across this particular book, written by a distant descendant of the Borghese family.

I’ll admit that the author’s identity did cause concern for me, mainly due to the potential for slander and negative bias to wriggle their way into the narrative, but the premise about the story being told from the prospective of a character close to Pauline seemed intriguing so I gave the book a shot.

Luckily, it’s available in free PDF form here. And, without spoilers, the read was… interesting.

This review is dedicated to @aminoscribbles .

2. The Summary

This is the story of Pauline Bonaparte and her tumultuous and toxic relationship with Prince Camillo Borghese, told from the point of view of Pauline’s foster daughter and distant cousin, Sophie Leclerc.

(Sophie is an original character btw. )

Sounds like an interesting idea with potential, but let’s keep going.

3. The Story

First of all, due to all the POV switching and the focus on Paulette, you can pretty much forget about Sophie since she fades into the background rather quickly and becomes irrelevant faster than a new fashion trend. Kinda makes me wonder why she was even in the book to begin with.

The plot pacing is also clunky, clumsily intertwined with flashbacks and fictional letters, but apparently the author is writing for the first time so of course it’s not going to be flawless. Still, I do wish he worked a bit more on the story before publication.

The negative bias also is there but it’s a weird mixed bag and not as bad as I expected - there’s at least an attempt to make Pauline a complex character and tell the story of a toxic yet ultimately loving couple, so points for effort.

Unfortunately, the story speed runs through moments like Pauline joining Napoleon on Elba, moments that could’ve given us more of a glimpse into her character and would definitely be more engaging than the awfully long sex scenes in the book.

4. The Characters

As I said, Sophie becomes irrelevant fairly quickly so I’m not sure what to make of her. She’s a very flat character whose initial admiration for Pauline isn’t properly justified. Nor is her relationship with the woman properly explored. A shame and a waste of potential, really.

Pauline herself isn’t evil like I expected, so it’s a pleasant surprise. However, she’s still capricious, selfish and careless. She does have nice moments like personally nursing Sophie back to health and she does genuinely grieve her husband and later her son.

However, all the nice moments are undermined by the moment when it’s revealed that Pauline poisoned herself and Sophie with arsenic to make Borghese believe that they got sick and send them to France. Err… WTF?!

(Yes, she does that in the book, even though the real Pauline was so sickly that she wouldn’t even NEED poison. As for poisoning a child… can’t imagine her doing so.)

Borghese himself is, naturally, almost a saint (duh), but still makes mistakes here and there, so he’s just flat and we never see a deeper dive into his relationship with Pauline.

To be honest, all characters are flat and underdeveloped so let’s move on.

5. The Setting

Some descriptions are good but, again, underdeveloped.

6. The Writing

The writing style is actually solid and sometimes engaging, but there are a few instances of Pauline being a bit too crass to feel realistic and those sex scenes are boring as hell.

Couple that with flashbacks and letters and yeah… it’s a hit or miss at best.

7. The Conclusion

All in all, definitely not an awful book. I’ve seen MUCH worse. That being said, it’s not a good book either. Just… decent but underbaked.

Check it out if you want, but it’s still biased towards Borghese and doesn’t do Pauline justice, unfortunately. It’s a mixed bag for me though so I will not reread this book.

Anyway, on that note, let us end our tiny soirée. Stay tuned for more reviews, everyone!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

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