Like all reactionaries, every accusation is a confession when it comes to TERFs.
There’s this girl you knew back in high school, a pretty little thing, a lesbian who taught you a lot of feminism basics back before you’d even thought anything might be weird about your gender (back when you thought you were a dude, when you thought you couldn’t get with lesbians because you didn’t realize yet that you were one). You run into her again and it’s years later; you went from depressed lonely man to hot butch dyke, and she went from hot lesbian feminist to hotter radfem bitch. After some shitty life happenings befall her, she needs a place to stay for a few nights, a week, maybe two weeks at most, and everyone she thought to ask has other things to deal with right now. You’re not exactly thrilled at the proposition of sharing your place with a TERF, but you’re not some evil bitch either, are you just gonna let her become homeless?
When she arrives, she makes it clear that she’s not into the idea either, and openly sends disdain your way, transphobia dripping from every sentence. She doesn’t trust you around her, doesn’t want you to approach her, she wants to have a proper bedroom to herself (and since there’s only one, she takes yours, leaving you the living room), she wants you to always knock on the bathroom door just in case she’s in there; she generally monopolizes the apartment. This is, well, really annoying, but you don’t wanna make a fuss; wouldn’t exactly wanna affirm her beliefs about trans women being sex pests, right?
So you let her do what she needs to do, despite the fact that she doesn’t make it easy, actively going against her stated desires repeatedly. She must have taken “make yourself at home” much too literally, because she acts as if you’re not there sometimes; leaving the doors to bedroom and bathroom a bit open when she’s not decent, reaching around you with no regard to whether it leaves her in a compromising position, choosing to use the smallest of your towels for after her showers and somehow only going between the bathroom and bedroom when you’re in the room between. But you make it work, giving her space when you can, and deliberately being chill when she doesn’t give you space, despite how difficult it is to be chill with how turned on she gets you. You always thought she was pretty, but you swear she’s aged like a fine wine with how her tits fall so perfectly on her under her camisole, or with how her ass looks in those leggings when she’s bent over to pick something up. It’s hard to be fully normal about her with how good she looks, but you do everything you can, being as much of a gentlewoman as you can be for her, despite how she hates your guts.
She keeps bringing up this feeling she has that you’re just another rapist man to you. She says it straight to your face, and you don’t get why she does it. If she really thought you’d rape her, she wouldn’t have come, right? Unless you were truly her last resort, but if that were the case, she’d still be trying her best to protect herself from you, right? And she clearly doesn’t take those steps, despite all the rules she laid out at the start.
Around the week-and-a-half mark, you’re tired and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth before bed, and it’s the one time you forget to knock for her. You open the door and wake up immediately, because you see her, post-shower, wrapped up in a towel, biting hard on her finger to stay quiet as her other hand rubs at her clit (is that your name on her breath?). You immediately slam the door shut, you start yelling out apologies to her, you didn’t mean to, it won’t happen again, before the door opens again. You turn away as she steps out of the bathroom, proclaiming that you’re “not looking!” but she tells you it’s ok, tells you to look at her, tells you to listen to her as she explains.
She has been convinced this whole time that you were gonna assault her, rape her, beat her, because that’s what she assumed all trans women to be; dangerous violent rapists. And she hasn’t been willing to admit it to herself until recently, but the reason she’s been so careless around you anyway? It’s that she wants you. She’s been afraid to say it; because being attracted to you means she sacrifices either her ideology or her understanding of her sexuality; because none of her anti-kink radfem friends would ever look at her the same way again if they knew that she not only acted on these un-feminist desires, but did so with a tranny; because she’s not supposed to want you, and so she had to tell herself she didn’t want you, meanwhile she idly imagined being raped by you to fuck the TERF out of her, with a certainty that it was going to happen any day now. But it hasn’t happened yet, and she’s too fucking needy now, and so she needs to admit to herself that yes, she thinks you’re hot, and that she needs you to fucking take her.
She pulls you into the bedroom, and you have to force yourself to stop a few steps in, because you refuse to take advantage of her. She’s confused when you don’t get on the bed, as if she still expects you to be some violent man, as if your calm demeanor the whole time she’s been here was for her, done out of obligation, not because it’s the thing anyone would do. So now it’s your turn to explain that, Look, you refuse to play into her TERF belief system, that the reason you don’t want to fuck her violently is because you never had any fantasies about doing so (let alone any plans), that you refuse to do something like that when she’s staying under your roof and could claim to her social circles that you raped her for real. You explain that, as hot as she is, as attracted as you are, you don’t want to even accidentally take advantage of her.
Now she’s fucking despondent, not sure how to go forward, because she’s so pent up, she needs you so fucking bad, and unfortunately for you, you never got over that soft spot you have for helping a femme in crisis. You go over to the bed and sit next to her, and you explain how this is going to work.
You need her to say, out loud, that you are a woman, that she wants to have sex with you of her own accord, and that (at least in the real world) she’s not better than you, and you’re not better than her; that she doesn’t really believe all trans women are rapists (or not anymore, at least). You need her to say, out loud, everything she wants you to do to her; you’re not doing anything she doesn’t ask you to do. You need her to be comfortable telling you No, out loud; despite only doing things she asks, you want her to use the stoplight system with you, and you will check in frequently. Only when all three criteria are agreed to, will you fuck her like she craves.
She thinks about it for a bit, surprisingly conflicted. Maybe it’s the shame of what she’s going to say, of what person she’ll be when everything has come out of her mouth, but in the end she agrees. She tells you that she knows you’re a girl, because she’s gay and she’s so fucking into you. She tells you that she needs your girldick, that she needs you to break the TERF in her. She gets closer to you on the bed as she says that she needs to be put in her place, beneath you, beneath her superiors. She gets in your lap, straddling you, as she says that she needs you to take her, to use her, to fuck her nice and rough.
It’s not long before your clothes are off and you have her pinned to the bed.
You keep your word, only doing exactly what she asks of you. Finally you can get a proper look at those perfect tits of hers, that amazing ass, because she said she wants you to. When she says she wants you to grope her tits, you grope her tits. When she says she wants you to spit in her mouth, you spit in her mouth. When she says she wants you to fuck her like two-dollar whore, you do exactly that. Eventually she says that she wants your cum, and you give her that, too. It’s the best sex either of you have had in months, and apparently the best aftercare she’s been given ever (“If this is what kink can be, maybe it’s not such a bad thing,” she says).
A week and a half turns into two weeks, turns to three, then a month, then two, and at that point you two drop the pretense of her “looking for her own place” like she drops her panties for you when she’s needy for your dick. She doesn’t wanna leave, now or ever. She’s hooked on you, on being your toy, on being a live-in whore. If only all her old friends could see her now ❤️