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Probably some #epicsecrets hidden inside there #historyisalive #masonictemple #alexandriava #geogrewashington #DCvidbe (at George Washington Masonic National Memorial)

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Hi, so if you aren't comfortable answering this I understand. My one friend recently became open about their gender-fluidity. I don't really understand it, and they're a bit sensitive about it, so I don't want to ask them. Would you mind explaining what gender fluidity is? Thank you

Oh man I’m surprised you’re asking me, but I definitely have no problem with it: if I did, I probably wouldn’t state my gender identity in my sidebar haha. uwu I’m surely not the best person to explain this since I only recently found my own identity, and Google can give you pretty good info as well, but I guess I can try to explain my own experience at least. :>

So basically, genderfluid means that your gender identity isn’t set to one thing. Today you can feel like x, but on another day or in another situation you may feel more like y, or maybe partly x, or z, or anything really. The point is, you don’t only have one identity — you have as many as you feel is right, and you fluctuate between them. The identities can be a 100 percent or somewhere inbetween: there are as many variations as there are genderfluid people.

For example, my case. Most of the time I feel more woman than man, but I never ever think of myself as 100% female. It’s always a mix. Other times, I feel mostly genderless. And sometimes more masculine than feminine, but there is never one “whole” gender for me. For someone else there is, and they’re still genderfluid, as long as they fluctuate.

For me, genderfluidity isn’t so much about behavior as it is about how the person sees themselves in their own head. The best advice I can give concerning your friend is, just treat them as the same person you always have, but do take notice of the correct pronouns to use: Some of us non-binary people simply use the ones that go with our physical gender (i.e. I use ‘she’ because I’m physically female), but many prefer something else like ‘they’, ‘one’, ‘zir’, ‘hir’, etc. ‘Gender neutral pronouns’ probably gives you some good material on Google. If it feels too weird or intruding to ask your friend about it right now, I guess you’ll just have to give them some time to adjust. Until then, it’s probably safest to keep using the same pronouns you have before: I’m sure they’ll speak up if/when they want to correct you.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, I hope it helps some! -Lola

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