#get shakespeared nerd

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Can you please do these things

Of course I can ^^

--

tis fine i knoweth i've been spreading positivity posts about living out of spite and reassuring yourselves yond 'twill beest well enow cometh the next election but liketh i hadst a legitimate panic attacketh this m'rning just because of the w'rd most wondrous so yeah i'm not doing too much bett'r

what on earth possess'd me at 2 am cuz i wast clawing at the flo'r and moaning and rolling 'round restlessly liketh a dog yond did contract rabies just as t wast going into heateth

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Hi

Wherefore, holla!

(Why hello!)

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Look at me,

And tell me who I am.

Why I am

What I am.

Call me a fool,

And it's true I am.

I don't know

Who I am.

It's such a shame,

I'm such a sham.

No one knows

Who I am.

Am I the face of the future?

Am I the face of the past?

Am I the one who must finish last?

Look at me,

And tell me who I am,

Why I am

What I am.

Will I survive?

Who will give a damn,

If no one knows

Who I am?

Nobody knows -

Not even you -

No one knows who I am...

Behold at me,

and bid me who is't i am.

wherefore i am

what i am.

calleth me a fooleth,

and t's true i am.

i knoweth not

who is't i am.

t's such a shame,

i'm such a sham.

nay one knoweth

Who is't i am.

am i the visage of the future?

am i the visage of the past?

am i the one who is't might not but finish lasteth?

behold at me,

and bid me who is't i am,

wherefore i am

what i am.

shall i survive?

who is't shall giveth a alas,

if 't be true nay one knoweth

who is't i am?

Nobody knoweth -

not coequal thee -

nay one knoweth who is't i am

----

Wast going through mine own inbox looking f'r something fusty and rememb'r'd how many of these i just has't sitting th're. I usually doth not those folk because those gents taketh 5ev'r but this one wast sh'rt and eke i did like the poem sooo h're t is!!

(Was going through my inbox looking for something old and remembered how many of these I just have sitting there. I usually don't do them because they take 5ever but this one was short and also i liked the poem sooo here it is!!)

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly

Good morrow mine own nameth is ebony dark'ness dementia raven way and i has't longeth ebony black hair (that's how i did get mine own nameth) with purple streaks and r'd tips yond reaches mine own mid-back and icy blue eyes liketh limpid drops of sorrow and a lot of people bid me i behold liketh amy lee (an: if 't be true u knoweth not who is't the lady is receiveth da hell out of h're!). I'm not did relate to g'rard way but i wisheth i wast because that gent's a maj'r fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but mine own teeth art straight and white. I has't whey-face white skin. I'm eke a beldams, and i wend to a charm school hath called hogwarts in england wh're i'm in the seventh year (i'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case thee couldn't bid) and i weareth mostly black. I loveth hot topic and i buyeth all mine own robes from th're. F'r example the present day i wast wearing a black c'rset with matching lace 'round t and a black leath'r miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I wast wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyelin'r and r'd eye shadow. I wast walking outside hogwarts. T wast snowing and raining so th're wast nay travelling lamp, which i wast v'ry joyous about. A lot of preps did stare at me. I putteth up mine own middle fing'r at those folk.

"hey ebony!" did shout a voice. I did look up. T wast. Draco malfoy!

"what's up draco?" i hath asked.

"nothing. " that gent hath said shyly

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

He was a boy

She was a girl

Can I make it any more obvious?

He was a punk

She did ballet

What more can I say?

He wanted her

She'd never tell

Secretly she wanted him as well

But all of her friends

Stuck up their nose

They had a problem with his baggy clothes

He was a Sk8er Boi

She said, "See you later, boy"

He wasn't good enough for her

She had a pretty face

But her head was up in space

She needed to come back down to earth

Five years from now

She sits at home

Feeding the baby, she's all alone

She turns on TV

Guess who she sees

Sk8er Boi

rockin'

up

MTV!!

She calls up her friends

They already know

And they've all got tickets to see his show

She tags along

And stands in the crowd

Looks up at the man that she turned down

He was a sk8er boi

She said, "See you later, boy!"

He wasn't good enough for her

Now he's a super star

Slammin' on his guitar

Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

He was a Sk8er boi

She said, "See you later, boy!"

He wasn't good enough for her

Now he's a super star

Slammin' on his guitar

Does your pretty face see what he's worth!

Sorry, girl, but you missed out

Well, tough, luck that boy's mine now

We are more than just good friends

This is how the story ends

Too bad that you couldn't see

See the man that boy could be

There is more that meets the eye

I see the soul that is inside

He's just a boi

And I'm just a girl

Can I make it any more obvious?

We are in love,

Haven't you heard,

How we rock each other's world?

I'm with the Sk8er Boi

I said, 'See you later, boi

I'll be back stage after the show

I'll be at our studio

Singing the song we wrote

About a girl you used to know!!'

I'm with the sk8er boi

I said, 'See you later, boi

I'll be back stage after the show

I'll be at our studio

Singing the song we wrote

About a girl you used to know!!!'

That gent wast a knave

the lady wast a wench

can i maketh t any m're gross in sense?

that gent wast a punk

the lady didst ballet

what m're can i sayeth?

that gent did want h'r

the lady'd nev'r bid

secretly the lady did want that gent as well

but all of h'r cater-cousins

did stick up their nose

those gents hadst a problem with his baggy robes

that gent wast a sk8'r boi

the lady hath said, "see thee lat'r, knave"

that gent wasn't valorous enow f'r h'r

the lady hadst a quaint visage

but h'r headeth wast up in space

the lady did need to cometh backeth down to earth

five years from anon

the lady sits at home

feeding the baby, the lady's all high-lone

the lady turns on tv

guesseth who is't the lady sees

sk8'r boi

rockin'

up

mtv!!

the lady calleth up h'r cater-cousins

those gents already knoweth

and those gents've all did get tickets to seeth his showeth

the lady tags 'long

and stands in the crowd

looks up at the sir yond the lady did turn down

that gent wast a sk8'r boi

the lady hath said, "see thee lat'r, knave!"

that gent wasn't valorous enow f'r h'r

anon that gent's a sup'r star

slammin' on his guitar

doest thy quaint visage seeth what that gent's w'rth?

that gent wast a sk8'r boi

the lady hath said, "see thee lat'r, knave!"

that gent wasn't valorous enow f'r h'r

anon that gent's a sup'r star

slammin' on his guitar

doest thy quaint visage seeth what that gent's w'rth!

s'rry, wench, but thee did miss out

well, tough, luck yond knave's mineth anon

we art m're than just valorous cater-cousins

this is how the st'ry ends

too lacking valor yond thee couldn't seeth

seeth the sir yond knave couldst beest

th're is m're yond meets the eye

i seeth the soul yond is inside

that gent's just a boi

and i'm just a wench

can i maketh t any m're gross in sense?

we art in loveth,

haven't thee hath heard,

how we rocketh each oth'r's w'rld?

i'm with the sk8'r boi

i hath said, 'see thee lat'r, boi

i'll beest backeth stage aft'r the showeth

i'll beest at our studio

singing the song we wroteth

about a wench thee hath used to knoweth!!

'i'm with the sk8'r boi

i hath said, 'see thee lat'r, boi

i'll beest backeth stage aft'r the showeth

i'll beest at our studio

singing the song we wroteth

about a wench thee hath used to knoweth!!!'

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Look at my ass, look at my thighs

I'm catnip to the guys

They chase my tail, they drool and pant

Wanna touch this, but they can't

No!

All the boys wanna come and play

Snap my fingers and they obey

Why do they follow me 'round all day?

Watch me while I walk away

I bend and snap

Feel how hot it's gettin'

Bend and snap

Then when you got 'em sweatin'

Spring the trap

They cheer and clap

No tight end can defend

'Gainst the bend and snap

Oh, that's easy for you to say

And you!

Girl, if you wanna make the team

Then, fake some self-esteem

The more you jump around and scream

Yeah, the sexier you seem

Please

Sorry girls, that ain't how I play

This wouldn't work if I tried all day

I gotta go get my asthma spray

Watch me while I walk away

No, wait, before you walk away

Just bend and snap

Ow!

Look how good you're gettin'!

Bend and snap

I'm bettin' right now you sweatin'

Spring the trap

They cheer and clap

So depend on your friend

Called the bend-

It's not the time to overthink

Just try it once, he'll buy you a drink

Excuse me, would you teach me that?

I'm tired of living alone with my cat

Sure!

Nowadays, I do dye jobs and curls

But here's how we did it in The Laker Girls

Come on, Paulette!

Doesn't this look fun?

Works every time

Look, do it and we'll go away

Okay, okay, okay, okay!

Bend

And snap!

(Damn!)

Hey, wait a second

When I beckoned

Look how the guys came runnin'

Like I'm

(Kickin')

Finger

(Lickin')

Like I'm freakin'

Wicked stunnin'

Will ya pay for stuff I buy?

(Yes!)

And bake me cake and pie?

(Yes!)

And hold me when I cry?

(Yes!)

And I will tell you why

(Why?)

I'm too rockin' to lock away

All the boys come and gawk away

Droppin' jaws from a block away

Watchin' how I walk away

(We love to watch her walk away)

I bend and snap

Now look how hot it's gettin'

Bend and snap

I bet right now you're sweatin'

Spring the trap, they cheer and clap

I depend on my friend

Go Paulette!

Go Paulette!

I depend on my friend

Go, go, go Paulette!

I depend on my friend

Called the bend

And snap

Bend and snap

Want to bend, hey! (Bend and snap)

With my new best friends! (Bend and snap)

I'm gonna snap with style! (Bend and snap)

I'm gonna get me some Kyle! (Bend)

Paulette, did I leave my stylus?

And snap!

Ah!

Oh, crap!

Behold at mine own rampallian, behold at mine own thighs

i'm catnip to the guys

those gents chaseth mine own tail, those gents drool and pant

wanna toucheth this, but those gents can't

nay!

all the boys wanna cometh and playeth

snap mine own fing'rs and those gents obeyeth

wherefore doth those gents followeth me 'round all day?

gaze me while i walketh hence

i bendeth and snap

feeleth how hot t's gettin'

bendeth and snap

then at which hour thee did get 'em sweatin'

springeth the trapeth

those gents che'r and clapeth

nay tight endeth can defend

'gainst the bendeth and snap

oh, yond's easy f'r thee to sayeth

and thee!

wench, if 't be true thee wanna maketh the team

then, fake some self-esteem

the m're thee jumpeth 'round and screameth

yeah, the sexi'r thee seemeth

prithee

s'rry girls, yond ain't how i playeth

this wouldn't w'rk if 't be true i hath tried all day

i gotta wend receiveth mine own asthma sprayeth

gaze me while i walketh hence

nay, waiteth, bef're thee walketh hence

just bendeth and snap

ow!

behold how valorous thou art gettin'!

bendeth and snap

i'm bettin' even but now thee sweatin'

springeth the trapeth

those gents che'r and clapeth

so dependeth on thy cousin

hath called the bend-

t's not the timeth to ov'rthink

just tryeth t once, that gent'll buyeth thee a drinketh

colours me, wouldst thee teachest me yond?i'm not restful of living high-lone with mine own gib

sure!

nowadays, i doth dye jobs and crisps

but h're's how we didst t in the lak'r girls

cometh on, paulette!

doesn't this behold excit'ment?

w'rks ev'ry timeth

behold, doth t and we'll wend hence

well enow, well enow, well enow, well enow!

bendethand snap!

(damn!)

ho, waiteth a second

at which hour i beckon'd

behold how the guys cameth runnin'

liketh i'm

(kickin')

fing'r

(lickin')

liketh i'm freakin'

naughty stunnin'

shall ya payeth f'r stuffeth i buyeth?

(yes!)

and baketh me cake and pie?

(yes!)

and holdeth me at which hour i caterwauling?

(yes!)

and i shall bid thee wherefore

(why?)

i'm too rockin' to locketh hence

all the boys cometh and gawk hence

droppin' chaps from a block hence

watchin' how i walketh hence

(we loveth to gaze h'r walketh hence)

i bendeth and snap

anon behold how hot t's gettin'

bendeth and snap

i did bet even but now thou art sweatin'

springeth the trapeth,

those gents che'r and clapeth

i dependeth on mine own cousin

wend paulette!

wend paulette!

i dependeth on mine own cousin

wend, wend, wend paulette!

i dependeth on mine own cousin

hath called the bendeth

and snap

bendeth and snap

wanteth to bendeth, ho! (bend and snap)

with mine own new most wondrous cater-cousins! (bend and snap)

i'm gonna snap with style! (bend and snap)

i'm gonna receiveth me some kyle! (bend)

paulette, didst i leaveth mine own stylus?

and snap!

ah!

oh, alas!

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

joke

noun

a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.

"she was in a mood to tell jokes"

Similar:

funny story

jest

witticism

quip

pleasantry

pun

play on words

shaggy-dog story

old chestnut

double entendre

in-joke

gag

wisecrack

crack

funny

one-liner

rib-tickler

killer

knee-slapper

thigh-slapper

boffola

blague

verb

make jokes; talk humorously or flippantly.

"she could laugh and joke with her colleagues

gleek

noun

a thing yond someone sayeth to causeth amusement 'r laught'r, especially a st'ry with a comical punchline.

"she wast in a humor to bid jokes"

similar:

comical st'ry

gleek

witticism

quip

pleasantry

pun

playeth on w'rds

shaggy-dog st'ry

fusty chestnut

doubleth entendre

in-joke

gag

wisecrack

cracketh

comic

alone-lin'r

rib-tickl'r

killeth'r

knee-slapp'r

thigh-slapp'r

boffola

blague

v'rb

maketh jokes; talketh humeth'rously 'r flippantly.

"she couldst chuckle and gleek with h'r colleagues

[get-shakespeared-nerd]

Question, if I send you a sentence here in le ask box, will you make it into Shakespeare? and if yes...

"Hi nice to meet you I'm a panromantic, autistic piece of shit with growing anxiety symptoms and I wish I wasn't human so I pretend to be a shark."

Aye! i shall!

(yes! I will!)

Good morrow nice to meeteth thee i'm a panromantic, autistic piece of the horror with growing anxiety symptoms and i wisheth i wasn't human so i pretendeth to beest a shark