The Letterman's Jacket, Part 3
For Part 2, click here: https://www.tumblr.com/mulletpermsicantlookaway/791470583810539520/the-lettermans-jacket-part-2
Rick felt a lot better after his talk with Connor. For one, he was stoked that he was going to be able to play football, and with his best bud Dave, too! For another, while he still felt slow, he was finding it easier to concentrate in his classes. Even so, by the time he got to algebra, he felt wiped out. His brain felt like mush, and his entire body felt sore again as if he’d had a heavy workout. He had hoped that the shorts would loosen some as the day went on, but if anything, they felt tighter, and even his shirt was starting to bind.
David was already in his seat as Rick strutted into algebra, and Rick sat down next to him with a goofy smile: “Sorry I missed you at lunch, bro,” he intoned in jock tones. David looked at him, startled. “I couldn’t find you,” Rick continued, “but I sat with this dude Mitch and some of the other jocks. They’re super chill and all, but I missed you, man. Where’d you run off to?” He cuffed his friend lightly on the shoulder.
“What the eff? Do you really think you’re a jock now, or are you messing with me?” David asked. “I know I was kind of mean to you this morning, but seriously, Richie, are you okay? You look kind of – not too bright right now, honestly. Those clothes look even smaller on you than they were this morning, and you smell like you could use a shower. How are you feeling?”
“I feel fine, bro, but yeah, these clothes are fucking tight. Makes it super hard to think. I’ve been fucking slow all day, in fact, thanks to you.” Rick chuckled dumbly. “Yeah, I’m a jock now. I mean, you told me this morning, remember? You told me to be a big, dumb, hairy football player like Connor, didn’t you? But Connor now: Connor’s a solid dude, bro. He’s not dumb. No, not at all.” Rick chuckled again. “He knows what you did. He told me how you messed me up, you know, telling me to be dumb and all. Seriously, that was mean of you, bro. But he’s fixing that. And he’s gonna talk to the coach about playing junior varsity.”
“Football? You mean football? Richie, you’re crazy. And why are you cursing so much?”
“Dude, it’s Rick, okay? Quit calling me Richie. I don’t want to sound like some fucktard dweeb in front of my bros. I told you, Dave: I want one of those jackets. So yeah, Connor’s talking to the coach about getting us on the football team. Won’t that be cool?”
“Us? Us? Okay – Rick – this had better all be a huge prank. It’s bad enough if you want to go and get tackled by a bunch of bulked-up brutes just so you can get a letterman’s jacket, but leave me out of it, okay? I’ve got no intention of playing football. And I am definitely talking to Connor before we go home.”
“Sure, Dave. Connor wants to talk to you, too.”
Connor and the other varsity football players walked in right then, with the teacher right behind them. Connor looked right at Rick and David, a huge smirk on his face. Then the bell rang.
Rick may have been finding it a little easier to concentrate in algebra, but David was finding it harder. David’s mind kept turning over all the astounding things Richard had just said. Richard thought David had made him dumber? How would that even be possible? But Richard was acting a lot different since this morning. It was obvious to David that Richard had been undergoing rapid physical changes, and maybe – maybe – that was natural at their age, but now his entire personality seemed different. It must be an act, David thought, but Richard must really want to play football to put on such an act for Connor – and to keep it up in front of his best friend. Why would he do that? “Maybe so I don’t go to Connor and tell him Richard’s just pretending?” he thought. He shook his head. He really had no idea. But he absolutely had to talk to Connor after class.
As soon as the final bell had rung, David got up, intending to catch Connor before he and his “bros” could head to the locker room or wherever the jocks headed to after school, but Connor forestalled him. He and the other two football players approached Rick and David, saying “Take a little walk with us, bros. We’ve got some things to talk over.”
Connor took the lead, with Rick and David behind him and the other football players flanking them in the rear. David was nervous and showed it, but Rick laughed at him and said, “Relax, bro. I told you: Connor’s a solid dude. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of.” Rick patted him affectionately on the back, but that made David even more nervous. That was not the kind of thing that Richard normally did. It reminded him too much of the way athletes congratulated each other after a goal or a touchdown.
Connor led them into a men’s room down the hall. The hallways were rapidly clearing out now, and the place was almost empty. Connor waited for the last customer to leave, and then his football player friends stood guard at the door. David looked around uneasily, realizing that he had no escape.
Connor began: “Good news, Rick. I talked to the coach, and he’s willing to take you and your bro Dave on the JV team, as long as you start practice Monday. I told him I was mentoring you and you had potential. Now, you’re not gonna let me down, are you, bro?”
“No way, Connor,” said Rick. Turning to David he said, “Isn’t that cool, bro? We’re gonna get to play football together!”
David had had it. Turning to Connor, he said, “What the hell did you do to him? Richie never wanted to play football or another sport before he met you. I don’t even know who he is anymore.”
Connor laughed. “You think I did this? You were the one who had him try on my jacket and my cap. And today you were the one who told him to be a jock. You’re the one who changed him, bro. Really. All I did was help. You gotta understand, Dave, I used to be an annoying little nerd, just like you. But I was lucky; I had a mentor who had the gift. He’s the one who made me a jock. Now I’m just returning the gift, passing it on to you, same as I did to Jake and Josh here,” Connor said, indicating his fellow football players. “You wouldn’t believe what dweebs those two used to be. You’re just lucky I was around to help, because you didn’t have a clue what you were doing. You almost made your best bro here into a drooling moron, telling him to be a big dumb jock. What were you thinking? You’re his best friend: of course he listened to you! Just how dumb do you think jocks are? But I fixed him in time. Rick here should get his brains back – mostly, anyway,” Connor smirked. “But now we’ve got to fix you so you don’t cause any more problems.” Connor paused. “Rick, you know what to do now? You’ve gotta be the one who does it; you’re his friend. It won’t work if I try it; he doesn’t trust me. And to keep him quiet, you’re gonna have to give him everything at once.”
“I don’t know, bro,” Rick said to Connor. “My head’s still all full of shit. It’s so fucking hard to think.”
“Don’t think, bro,” Connor said. “Just do. You’re a jock now. You’ve got this. Just remember how you changed and pass it along to your bud. He wants this as much as you did.”
“Okay, bro,” Rick said, “I’ll give it the old college try. Dave, buddy, come on. It’s time. Connor’s right; you know you want to be a jock. Let me help you.”
David swallowed hard and made a dash for the door. Jake and Josh restrained him effortlessly. Josh said, “I can’t believe I used to be this much of a wimp. Sad! Trust me, bro, you’re gonna be a lot better off as a jock.”
Rick approached David while he continued to struggle against the football players’ iron grip. “Bro, calm down. Stop fighting us. We’re not gonna hurt you. Fuck, bro: I’m your best friend! It really hurts, you know, to think that you don’t trust me.”
“Get away from me! I’m not your bro,” David said.
“But you will be, Dave.” He took his cap off and put it firmly on David’s head. He held onto the brim the way Connor had. David’s struggles increased. “What do you think you’re doing, Dave? Come on. I’m your best bro. I know you want this. I mean, there’s a reason you wanted me to try on Connor’s jacket, right? You were just afraid to try it on yourself. But now I can help you. You don’t need to be afraid. Stop being such a nerd, Dave. You know you want it. You want it just as much as I did. You want it more. Tell me. Tell me you want to be my bro. Come on! I need to hear you say it!”
David faltered: “I – I want to be your bro.” His struggles stopped.
“Almost right, bro,” laughed Rick. “Try again.”
“I want to be your bro, bro.”
“That’s better,” Rick laughed. “Sure, Dave, I’ll make you my bro. But first, you’re gonna make some changes. Seriously, bro; you’re gonna ditch the greasy nerd hair. Then those zits of yours’ll start to clear up. And the glasses, bro; you won’t need ‘em. Your balls are gonna drop and get heavy. Then that nerd voice of yours is gonna crack and you’re gonna start sounding like your bros. You’ll grow a jock cock to go with your balls, and, believe me, bro: when the blood starts flowing to that thing it’s super hard to think about anything else. You’ll get bigger and hairier and sweatier, and you’ll have to start dressing like a jock, because nothing else will fit. And it won’t matter if you’re smart; no one will take you seriously, because when people look at you, they’ll just see another big, dumb jock. But you won’t care what they think, because all your friends will be jocks, and you’ll only care about what your bros think. So yeah, maybe you’ll act as dumb as those people think you are, and you’ll laugh at them and laugh at yourself, because they have no clue that you really aren’t dumb at all. Got it, bro?” Still grabbing the cap, Rick slowly rotated it backwards and then let go. David staggered, and his eyes rolled back in his head. Jake and Josh lowered him slowly to the floor.
“Rick, bro, that was amazing!” Connor exclaimed. “You nailed it!”
A moment later, Dave’s eyes blinked open, and he looked slowly around, a puzzled expression on his face. “What the hell? Why the fuck am I on the floor of the men’s room? Did I pass out or something?”
Rick said, “Yeah, you passed out, all right. Did you skip lunch, Dave? I looked for you, but I couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“Yeah, bro,” Dave said woozily. “I didn’t eat lunch ‘cause I didn’t want to run into….”
“No wonder you passed out,” Connor interrupted, “your tank’s running on empty. You don’t skip meals when you’re bulking up for football, bro. How do you feel now?”
“Fucking strange,” Dave replied. “My head feels so weird. And my balls feel weird, too, like they’re swollen or something.”
“Look,” said Connor, “I know you’re not all there yet, Dave, but we’ve got to get you and Rick to the coach if you want to sign up for football. He’s not gonna wait, so pull yourself together. Here, let me help you up.”
“Thanks, bro,” said Dave. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Whoa. I can’t see. Everything’s like, super blurry.”
Rick said, “Bro, take off the nerd glasses! You don’t need ‘em.”
Dave took off the glasses and put them in his pocket. He chuckled. “You are so right, bro. I can see a lot better without them.” Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he said, “Fuck, I should have gotten a haircut. I look like a dweeb. What’s Coach gonna think?”
“Don’t worry,” said Rick. “We’ll stop by Wyler’s on the way home. Maybe the barber that did mine will be working.”
Jake and Josh headed out, promising to see Connor at the football game later that night. Connor escorted Rick and Dave to the coach’s office. After they’d finished with the coach, Connor told Rick, “Before you head off campus, go to the locker room and wait for me. I’ve got some stuff for you, but I need to talk to the coach for a minute.”
Connor went back into the coach’s office. The coach said, “I don’t know, Connor. I hope I’m doing the right thing. That kid Rick seemed ready enough. He’s small, but he looks as though he’s growing fast. His friend Dave, now: that one looks like he weighs eighty or ninety pounds soaking wet. Great attitude, though.”
“I know Dave’s got plenty of room to grow, Coach,” said Connor, “but you can’t expect a freshman to be as big as I am. Trust me. Rick just started a big growth spurt, and his buddy Dave is gonna be right behind him. That’s why I think it’s better to have them both on the team. You can play them off against each other; you know, use them to motivate each other: ‘Look, Dave, see how hard your buddy Rick is working? You don’t want him to get ahead of you, do you? Hey, Rick, look at how big Dave’s biceps are getting. You’re just as strong as he is, aren’t you?’ They’ll always be trying to outdo each other.”
“I see your point,” the coach said drily. “But keep an eye on them, okay? Their attitude is great, but they’ve got squat for experience.”
“Neither did I when I joined the football team, Coach. Don’t worry. You won’t go wrong with those two. Let ‘em play, and they’ll make the varsity squad eventually. They’ve both got as much potential as I did.”
“Okay, son. I’ll trust you, but you’d damn well better be right.”
Connor hurried to the locker room and found Rick looking around curiously and Dave looking dazed. “Rick, I’ve got a couple of things you can wear until you can get some new clothes. And a bigger jockstrap for you, too. You can give the other one to Dave. It should fit him, for a while, at least.” Connor handed Rick the jockstrap and a bundle of clothes. “I almost forgot,” said Connor, “here’s another school baseball cap to go with that stuff”.
“Seriously,” said Rick, “You are a fucking prince, bro. I owe you. These old shorts I’m wearing are crushing my balls!” Rick immediately started stripping off his clothes.
Connor chuckled while Rick stood there naked except for his socks. “I told you you’d be growing a pair of balls and jock cock to go with ‘em. Look at you, bro! For a freshman, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Rick was soon dressed in a pair of roomy sweat shorts with the school logo and a loose T-shirt with “Washington High Athletics” emblazoned on the front and back. Connor put the new cap on Rick’s head. Adjusting it into position and holding the brim, he said, “You’re getting to be a big bro now. You don’t need to worry about wearing a cap every time I see you. But just remember – I gave you the gift. Someday, when you’re an even bigger bro, you might just run into another scrawny freshman who needs it as much as you did. And that’s when you’ll pass it on. You, and Dave, too, you’ll know when you find someone.” Connor let go of the cap. Dave stood there gaping while Rick checked himself out in the mirror.
“How will we know?” Rick asked, finally.
“Dude, I can’t explain it. You’ll just know. Trust me,” said Connor.
“Okay, man, I’ll trust you,” said Rick. Then, turning to Dave, he said, “Your turn’s next, bro,” said Rick to Dave, handing him the jockstrap he’d just taken off. “You’ll be needing this soon.”
“The way my balls hurt, I think I want to try it on now,” Dave said.
“Yeah, Dave,” said Connor, adjusting the cap on Dave’s head, the cap he’d originally given to Rick. “I think you’re about to hit a big growth spurt, bro. You don’t want your buddy Rick too far ahead of you. You might as well try the jockstrap on now. I’m sure Rick got it warmed up for you.”
“I’ll bet,” said Dave. “But I’ll put up with Rick’s skanky ball sweat if it’ll keep my boys from aching, let me tell you bro. I can wash it out later.” Dave stripped off his pants and underwear, put on the used jockstrap and got dressed. “That is way better, bros,” he said.
“Excellent,” said Connor. “But Dave, one thing: when it stops fitting, I want it back, okay? That one’s special.”
Rick smiled. “I guessed right. That was your jockstrap?”
“Yeah,” Connor said, with a wistful and not very jock-like expression on his face. “It was my first one, okay? It’s special, so I want it back.”
“I can’t believe that little thing ever fit a big dude like you,” said Rick.
“Look, I mean, it’s embarrassing, but I told you bros I used to be a scrawny little freshman geek, okay? It fit me back then. But then I hit a big growth spurt, just like the one you bros are going through, and it didn’t fit anymore. That’s why it’s in such good shape.” Connor grinned. “Anyway, later, bros. See you at the football game. Enjoy watching it while you can. Next time, you’ll be down on the field.”
“Yeah, we’ll be there,” said Rick. “No way we’re missing the first game of the season.”
Dave insisted on getting a haircut before they went home, so they texted their parents and let them know they’d be back later than usual. As soon as they got to Wyler’s, Rick spotted the older barber who had given him his haircut a few days before. “You remember me, sir?” he asked.
The barber looked at him a minute, slightly puzzled. “Oh yeah, son. Didn’t I give you a team haircut the other day? It’s still looking pretty sharp, but I had a little trouble recognizing you. You’re growing like a weed, young man. Your voice is changing, too. Didn’t you wear glasses before?”
“Yeah, I did,” said Rick. “Anyway, my best bud Dave here is joining the football team, too. Can you clean him up?”
The barber obliged, and soon Dave was shorn down to stubble and spikes. Rick popped the cap back on Dave’s head and said, “Bro, I think your zits are already starting to clear up.” They walked to Dave’s house, and then Rick headed home from there. When he got home, he approached Tommy and said, “Hey, little bro. You want to go in the backyard and throw the football around for a bit?”
Tommy was fine with that. After they’d played catch for a while, Rick took Tommy back inside, and his mother thanked him for running off some of Tommy’s energy. Tommy said, “Richie’s a jock now!”
Their mother didn’t necessarily take that statement too seriously, until Rick told his parents that he and Dave had both signed up for JV football.
“Oh, Richard,” his mother said, “I don’t know that that’s such a good idea. Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Richard, let’s head upstairs,” his dad said. “It’s time for a shaving lesson.”
His dad presented him with a razor, shaving cream, and some after-shave lotion. Soon Rick’s thickening peach fuzz was swirling down the drain of the main bathroom, along with a small amount of blood. When he was done rinsing, his dad said, “Richard, your mother is having a little trouble dealing with the fact that her boy is becoming a man. I have no objection to your going out for football if that’s what you want, and I think it’s great that David is joining you, but you’ve got to admit it’s a big change for both of you. You can understand why your mother might be freaked out. I’ll talk to her, but Richard, take it easy, okay?
Later, after Rick and Dave had headed off to the football game and Tommy’s parents had put him to bed, Rick’s mother said, “What scares me is that they tell us to watch out if our kids suddenly change peer groups and start hanging out with a different crowd. Richard’s never been interested in sports before. Neither has David, as far as I know. Now suddenly Richard wants to go out for football? It doesn’t make any sense. And football’s dangerous.”
His dad said, “I get your point. I would be worried, too if Richard had suddenly dropped David as a friend, or if he started to hang around with kids who got in trouble or did drugs or whatever. But boys their age wanting to go out for sports is perfectly normal. And sure, maybe there’s some peer pressure behind it. They’re at a new school, and they’re trying to fit in. I don’t think it’s a bad sign that an older kid in one of their classes encouraged them to try out. Look at it this way: Richard’s not doing this alone, and it’s a great chance for those two to meet other guys their own age at school. Plus, they’ll be part of a team with a coach keeping an eye on them. They shouldn’t be able to get into any real trouble. If anything, there’ll be pressure on both of them to stay out of trouble so that they can stay on the team. I know it’s a big change, honey, but it’s not a bad thing. Not at all.”
“All the same,” said his mother, “I think it’s scary how quickly Richard has been changing. I made an appointment with his doctor to have him checked out.”
“That’s a great idea,” said his dad. “The doctor can let us know if there’s anything really wrong.”
Dave shouted himself hoarse at the game. He complained more than once to Rick over the weekend that his voice hadn’t recovered. By Sunday, he was texting Rick that he sounded as though he had a cold. Rick texted back, “u sure ur voice isn’t changing?”
“Over a weekend?” Dave asked.
“Dude, mine changed practically overnight.”
By Monday when they headed to school, there was no more doubt. Dave’s voice hadn’t quite settled yet, but it was changing fast. His zits were starting to clear up, too, just as dark fuzz was starting to shadow his lips and cheeks.
Later that week, Rick had to endure the humiliation of a full examination by his pediatrician. It turned out to be worth it, though; the doctor gave a glowing report to his mother: “Richard is a healthy young man. Very healthy, in fact, and growing fast. I don’t see any reason for him not to participate in athletics. He’ll benefit from the physical activity. One thing I will point out, though. Richard is, well, there’s no way to put this delicately, Richard is very well endowed for someone his age. It’s absolutely critical that he wear athletic supporters or at least supportive underwear when engaging in any sports. There’s nothing wrong with him wearing boxer shorts if he wants to, but not when playing football.”
Going to practice, learning how to put on their uniforms and protective gear correctly, playing in football games, and hanging out with their teammates and other jocks quickly reinforced Rick and Dave’s physical and mental changes. As the days and weeks passed by, they resembled their teammates more and more. They looked like jocks. They dressed like jocks. They sounded like jocks. They acted like jocks. Rick and Dave’s rooms, formerly neat and organized, grew messy and developed lingering odors of sweat and cheap body spray. Practice uniforms, cleats, jockstraps, and compression gear were strewn everywhere, and posters of athletes decorated the walls.
They talked like jocks, too. Rick’s father took him aside for a talk: “Richard, as you know, I have no problem with you playing football and hanging out with your friends. But I’m your father, not your bro, okay? And that goes quadruple for your mother. I mean it: no more calling your mom ‘dude’, and especially not ‘bro’. It freaks her out, okay? You don’t want to give your mother a bad time.”
“Okay, dude – I mean dad,” Rick chuckled.
“Very funny. I mean it, mister. Don’t think that you’ve gotten so big that I can’t show you who’s boss. I’m sure your coach and your teachers don’t let you get away with calling them ‘dude’. Have I made myself clear? Have I?”
“Yes, sir,” said Rick sullenly.
“That’s better. Now that we’ve cleared the air, I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you, son. I mean that. But life will be better for all of us around here if you take it easy on your mom.”
No one would call Rick or Dave scrawny now. They were still a long way from the size and bulk of an older jock like Connor, but their growth spurts and hours spent in the weight room had changed the former pipsqueak nerds into buff bros. Their hands had grown meaty and rough with calluses from handling barbells and footballs.
When it came to their schoolwork, the situation was – complicated. As Connor had promised, Rick got his brains back, mostly, and Dave had never lost his. Of course, they didn’t want to come off as brains, especially in front of their bros, but their bros weren’t the problem. If they got A’s on a test or an assignment, even their teachers were surprised, as if something wasn’t right with the universe. Jocks were expected to win games. No one expected them to be smart. Rick and Dave soon discovered that there was no point in working for an A. Everyone assumed that the teacher had gone easy on them because they were on the football team – or worse: that they’d bribed or bullied some nerd into doing their work. It became easier and easier to just go along with people’s lowered expectations. Internally seething at being treated like morons, their personalities became cocky and aggressive. They channeled all their efforts into their athletic pursuits, where at least their achievements were rewarded, and they soon came to despise nerds and brains as being a plague on the universe.
All Rick and Dave cared about at school now was playing sports, hanging out with their bros, and earning their varsity letters. When football season ended, Rick, who was getting tall, went out for basketball. Dave, who was shorter and becoming stocky, went out for wrestling. At home, Tommy eagerly emulated his big bro and started to get into sports himself. Rick returned the favor by making sure Tommy got plenty of activity outside throwing and catching balls, running, and tackling. In spring, when Rick and Dave had both gone out for baseball, Rick gave his little brother a nice leather catcher’s mitt for his birthday. Tommy now wanted to be football player or a baseball player when he grew up.
When they finally earned their letterman jackets, Rick and Dave were stoked to see that their bro Connor had come back from college to be there for the ceremony. Playing college football hadn’t made Connor any smaller; he looked as big as some of the pros. Connor was glad to see Rick and Dave, too. He was proud of his part in their transformations, but he hardly recognized them at first. Rick, a handsome young athlete with a lean, muscular build, was now taller than Connor himself. But the real shocker for Connor was Dave. The once slight nerd had morphed into a rough-voiced beefy lineman with a square head, solid neck, barrel chest, and massive thighs.
“Dave, damn, dude, you got thick! How much you weigh now, bro?” said Connor, slapping him in the middle of his broad back above his bulging glutes.
Swaggering proudly out of the gym after the ceremony, Rick and Dave were shooting the breeze with Connor, catching up on his college football career. Rick spotted their team’s geeky freshman water boy looking at Rick’s letterman jacket with an expression of envy and awe that Rick still dimly remembered. “Hey, little dude,” he said to the water boy, a friendly grin on his chiseled face. “You want to try my jacket on? See how you’d look?”
“Really?” squeaked the water boy. “You’d let me do that?”
“Sure, I would. Remind me what your name is again, bro.”
“Bradley” he breathed, looking both thrilled and terrified.
“Here ya go, Brad. Try this on for size.”
Rick took off his jacket and slung it over Bradley’s fragile frame. The heavy jacket looked likely to break Bradley in half, but his eyes shone with delight. “This is so cool!” he said. “Thank you so much! I’d give anything to be able to wear one of these.”
“Bro,” Rick said, “you know you’ve got to earn the letter yourself, but if you mean what you said, Dave and I can help you. Here, try on my cap.” Rick popped it on Bradley’s head and looked him up and down. “Brad, bro, you really do want it. I can tell. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna give you this cap. I’ve got plenty more where that came from. But I expect to see you wearing it the next time I see you. Got it? Now let me adjust it for you.” Rick adjusted the cap and then held onto the brim while looking Bradley straight in the eyes. “Bro, listen to me.” Bradley’s eyes started to lose focus as Rick’s voice echoed in his skull. “You look good in this cap, but you gotta ditch the nerd hair, bro. This cap would fit you so much better if you got a real haircut. Yeah, bro, that’s it: cut off that stupid nerd hair, and then we’ll see if you’ve got what it takes to earn a jacket like mine. Oh, and ditch the glasses, bro. Trust me. You’re not gonna need ‘em.”