#getting shit out

[pixelprofligate]

The fact I can experience emotions in my transient existence is miraculous and amazing. I'm here. I'm real. What I'm feeling is real. My existence compels me to feel and feel I do. Regardless if it's positive or negative it's what I'm supposed to do. So feel I shall. It's amazing I have the ability to at all.

[arcticsilverreblog]

God i hate the fact I push people away in unrepairable ways at the same time I dont deserve nice things an thats why I push them away, its gonna end badly anyway

[allthegrey]

my own suffering is the best suffering

[sporadicmj]

I fucking dislike her!!!!

[assthetic-angel]

fuck you fuck you fuck you you were a selfish insular judgmental bitch and you never respectedme  you’re a fucking hypocrite and goddammit im not sorry so fuck you i didnt deserve any of that manipulative mind game bullshit you put me through idc what you think or what you’d like to accuse me of i tried rlly hard for you and you fucking yelled at me for the way i live my life dont you dare fuck you

[emily-the-poetess]

I've hardly tried to fill myself up because I'm just so tired and empty and I don't even know if I'm really any good at much of anything so where does that leave me if everyone leaves me because my parents can't forever support me and there's never been enough coffee to keep me going day after day and I've defined every relationship by how many times we had sex but even that doesn't make sense to me because no ones ever told me if it still counts when one of the two people can't even cum and I wish I could say that that one is usually me but somewhere there's a deficiency and I've never been one to deal with deficiencies or inadequacies because I always had enough but I can't count on anyone anymore I can't even count on myself anymore and it's not fair to compare just because my favorite person isn't around anymore but I can hardly say I'm trying to qualify as an adult though the world tells me I am so I'll mope and I'll mope until something makes me stop and think about what I'm even doing why I can't think of a single thing I've done that's been exciting so of course I'm tired and empty

[sillyconversations]

Is this therapy?

My biggest fear is that I will not be adequate in anything I do, and that inadequacy will in turn make me lose everyone I care about. What's messed up about it is when I have hint of someone pulling away, or treating my like shit, I can't help but thinking it's because I'm so absolutely wrong in everything I do. All of this creates inside of me insecurities which then cripples me to do anything productive.

What truly blows is that I feel like my insecurities will always be there no matter how many times I tell myself to be strong.

The only thing I'm ever discontent with is myself, where I am, who I am, what I look like, how I act.

I know all of this is the reason people walk all over and take advantage of me. I act strong, but I know people treat me like a door mat. I recognize this happens, but I allow it to happen because I'm so sure that I am wrong in everything I do anyway.

I've normalized this behavior for as long as I can remember. Now that things have happened, things that made reality hit hard, I have to find a way to deal with my fear in a healthy way.

I think this is therapy.