i use to fangirl over this cute guy i would see in the hallways and i had a crush on him for like 6 months before i finally gathered up the courage to talk to him and confess on valentine's day. here we are now, 5 months later, happy together :)
I have always had a voice that is too loud to be a secret
FOR MYCAH
A Yixing fic | Slightly proofread | 1.7 k | Title stolen from Azra's book. | Tuesdays are meant for hellos and goodbyes. Mycah met Yixing on a Thursday night.
BB! I know that this isn't much considering that you had to wait for a VeryLongTime. (Also hover that very long time to read my long message) I'm not sure if this is what you wanted but I hope you'll love this as much as I love you, which is a lot! ♥
Also thank you to Hyemi unnie for writing me that Yixing meta, I wouldn't have written this without her help.
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Mycah has counted the breaks of the table several times, and each time she does it the numbers are different. She is trying to ease her mind that earlier that night she actually left home with a note saying 'Don't worry I'll be back on Tuesday.' She doesn't know if she will be, but Tuesday just sounds right. The place isn't filled with much people, and she isn't sure how long she had been there but probably long enough. Her stomach's grumbling.
She regrets not eating the vegetable salad her mom made earlier that morning, she knows it must have tasted bad, but then if she had eaten that, she won't be as hungry as she is right now. The coffee she ordered when she first came was now finished, and she realized if she wanted to survive until Tuesday, she has to cut down her expenses. There are leftovers on the table next to hers, and she's actually considered picking them up until she feels a pair of eyes set upon her.
The eyes are from a man at least 6 feet tall, Mycah thinks he's around 21 or older, but definitely not over 30, his eyes are small and she's convinced he's Korean, Chinese or Japanese, either of the three. She hasn't seen his face around so maybe a traveler.
"You can have these." The man offers a packed hamburger and fries on his tray. Mycah worries a little that it might be poisoned, the worry in her head is a little too much but it isn't as bad as her panic attacks, so she tells herself she's fine.
The man looks spaced out and she second guesses if he's actually stoned, but she receives the food anyway. Free things in life don't come too often.
"Why are you out this late?" He asks, accent a little too thick in his tongue.
She could tell him that she's passed out the other day screaming and panting in sweats and she needed a breather, she could tell him about the guy who kept on telling her he loves her and that he'll wait but left in the morning all the same, she could tell him all the things she doesn't have a courage telling anybody and it would be fine, because Mycah doesn't know the guy and the guy doesn't know Mycah, but in the end she chooses to lie.
"Nothing really."
The lady in the counter tells them they're closing up. She knows she couldn't stay there for too long, but she forgot to think of a place to stay in for the night. The money on her pockets will just be enough to feed her from time to time and home's definitely not an option. The man exits the restaurant first before she does. "Where do you live? I can drive you home." The man asks, his voice too quiet from the night’s cold breeze.
She’ll either stay the night with a complete stranger or freeze her ass on the cold. Mycah garners enough air to ask him something “Ahjusshi, where are you going?”
He’s spaced out once more and it takes him a little half of a minute to reply. “Me?” He chuckles. “I’m on a road trip to somewhere I don’t know.”
Mycah calculates the number of her pulse every minute for leisure and what she learns from it is that every single time, it’s different. Her pulse rate goes up to more than a hundred this time. “Take me with you Ahjusshi. Just until Tuesday. I’ll pay you 50 bucks.”
-
The inside of his car is nice. There’s a fort made out of pillows and blankets laid out on the back seat, there’s a couple of boxes filled with toys and clothes on the dashboard and an acoustic guitar sitting by the corner. There are a couple of photos hanging on the windows, and the car smells a little bit like cinnamon and honey. She tells herself she’s brave. Hitch-hiking in a stranger’s car takes courage, a lot of it. “Everything’s going to be fine. I’m brave.” She whispers.
Ahjusshi stays quiet while he drives and the passenger’s filled with water-colour painted mixtapes and some letters; she takes a decision to sleep. The lights outside move too fast and the people on the pictures she sees are all smiling. It isn’t warm inside, but it’s warmer than the feeling dwelling on her chest.
She’s left all her sleeping pills back at home, and for the first time in weeks, she’s able to sleep without them.
-
Waking up at 6am isn’t as horrible as it feels if she continues to sleep. The man’s asleep; his legs sprawled wide in the passenger. There are unusual moments in life when you look at someone and think they’re complete angels, she recalls this might be her first.
She steps out of the car to buy some breakfast. When she came back, he’s already outside.
“I thought you ran away” he says too fast, it takes her awhile to get it. There’s concern hanging deep in his voice and for her it sounded like a question in her exam that she almost skips until she realizes it might be important.
“I just bought breakfast.” She passes out a cup of coffee and some bread. “I didn’t know what you like so I just chose the same one I usually eat.”
He smiles and grabs them together in his hands. “I don’t usually drink coffee unless Minseok’s made them.” He gulps. “They’re really bad but we’re friends and also there’s Luhan.”
She’s learning names and she’s wondering if they’re the people on the photos hanged up inside the car, maybe she thinks but doesn’t ask.
The breakfast fills half of the hour and when they get back inside, it’s almost a bit too sunny. There still aren’t that far from the restaurant they met last night, but the weather makes it seem too far-fetched.
“I planned to go all the way down south before Sunday but since you said you needed to be back Tuesday, so I guess I have to postpone that plan.”
“I’m so-“
“I don’t mind though.” He adds.
And she feels she needs to say sorry. Not just that she steps out of his plan for her when he could’ve left her out in the cold, but also that she thought he’s stoned. He’s nice, too nice. She wants to apologize.
“Why did you ran away from home though?”
Maybe Mycah can tell him something, tell him a name like he did awhile ago, tell him about home or the sleeping pills, but she thinks it’s too much for a stranger to know things. “Just because.” She tells him. It isn’t enough but he doesn’t ask anything more about it.
-
The four wheels of his car continued to move along the same way as their conversations. They stayed with the safe topics – something about the weather or the clothes or the food he’s cooked back at home. Mycah’s learnt he’s not Korean but Chinese and he got calls almost every 5 hours a day.
Sometimes it’s Luhan, the man’s best friend, and is Chinese but fairly good enough in Korean because as what the ahjusshi tells her “is madly in love with a Korean boy named Kim Minseok who is the most beautiful boy in the world”. Kim Minseok calls sometimes too but the man always gets him embarrassed pass 10 minutes of their conversation about something Minsoek’s said for the past year, and Minseok ends the call by hanging up. Often times the call comes from Jongdae and ahjusshi would be laughing hard every single time and later on he’d tell her everything about it.
“That man just asked me how to identify his socks from mine because we have the same designs. He’s bought me one before, we’re roommates after all.” But what’s funny is Jongdae’s boyfriend, he told her the first time. Jongdae’s boyfriend could start show and talk about himself all day long and Ahjusshi would watch it.”
Mycah’s learnt that the names belong to the people on the pictures hanging by the windows and what she learned more was that the cds were presents from his mom. It’s a mix of Korean and Chinese songs and sometimes he sings along.
He’s an angel, she decides. He’s an angel disguised in warm clothes and small eyes and a voice that could melt your heart.
She’s able to sleep and wake up with a smile on her face, and she’s figured this is the best time she’s had for awhile.
-
Time passes by faster when you’re having fun, they say. It’s a Tuesday morning and the driver’s passed out on the other side of the fort she had been sitting on. Mondays are spent with barbecue grills and a pack of milk. There’s a call from home early at six and she picks it up, tells them she’ll be back later and that they don’t have to worry.
Mondays are meant for fun and Tuesdays are meant for hellos and goodbyes. She hasn’t figured it out which one she liked better yet.
Ahjusshi wakes up a little after an hour, and she tells him something as soon as he opens his eyes.
“Let’s go to the ocean.”
The ocean’s wide and deep and it reminded her of something she had felt inside. The ocean’s a few kilometers away and he follows where she tells her to follow. When they reach it, there are the only ones around.
“This is actually nice.” The man tells her. She smiles and thinks he’s someone from that anime she’s loved watching a long time ago – the one who always come and follows.
They run after the waves and collects shells by the seashore. There are millions of things she’s liked to ask to him, and she asks what comes first in mind.
“Why did you accept my offer and kept me around?”
He chuckles but it’s not offensive, nor funny. “You’re a child and you need a home and I’ve got some room, or at least a car. Plus the pay’s not bad.”
There was a time when he sang for her, and it was some time past Sunday or Monday – a song about flowers and a girl. The car’s small but his heart is so big for them to live on and on. They spent calling each other without ever calling each other and maybe, she guessed Tuesday was meant for her to know his name.
“Zhang Yixing. My name’s Zhang Yixing.”
The ocean’s wide and the music it makes keep her warm. When she writes his name on the sand, the water washes them away.
apparently i look 50 shades of asian, or mexican, or caucasian, or european, or a mix of something when really i'm full filipina LOL
(/stalks your blog for selcas) HOLY CRAP YOU’RE SO PRETTY WOW can i have your face
this is somewhat appearance related: but my dad introduced me to his coworkers and this one guy thought i was his wife and didn’t believe him when he said i was his daughter??? and then when i was taking care of my grandma in the hospital everyone kept asking if i was her daughter ;;
i hope i dont look like im 40????
tell me an interesting fact about yourself and I will reply with an interesting fact about myself
this is how the vampire queen sounds when she doesn't want anyone to know she's recording something
((((i think it's just necessary for all my internet friends to know how i sound like when i talk, i don't think i really sound like this irl but yeah i don't know if you all care about how i sound really but im tagging you all anyways))))
been keeping myself updated ever since it happened. if you guys want to be kept updated my twitter is hanyuzu. i'm currently talking to one of the reporters.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I DON'T DESERVE ALL THE LOVE YOU GIVE ME
THANK YOU MYCAH I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA SEE THIS! you have been through a bad lot during my birthday month and you don't need to feel sorry for doing this late, I remember before you even did a full cover of dear no one because I was feeling down and I tweeted that I want someone to sing to me and I just want to hug you and tell you wonderful things really, not just on that time but on times when you feel the worst, I don't get how can you not realize that you are so precious and that your voice is so cute and your laugh is one of the best things in the world and I would try my best to make you feel better because in the end, even though you don't call me unnie and we're all like same age sister, you'll be my dongsaeng and I'll be your unnie who will protect you (and give you yixing so he can heal your wounded soul) THE FINN TO MY MARCY I LUFF YOU OKAY AND HOW DARE YOU USE THAT PROPOSE SONG AT THE BEGINNING AND YOUR SWEATER LOOKS SO NICE AND I WISH I COULD GO THERE AND WE COULD HANG AND TALK AND CRY AND YOU WOULD TEACH ME DANCE AND WE'LL BE HAPPY
