we’re all gonna die one day and nothings gonna matter

seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from India
seen from Ireland
seen from Panama
seen from Spain
seen from Türkiye

seen from China
seen from Philippines

seen from Türkiye

seen from Ireland
seen from Spain

seen from Türkiye
seen from Spain

seen from Türkiye

seen from Türkiye
seen from Ireland

seen from Palestinian Territories
seen from United States
seen from Syria
we’re all gonna die one day and nothings gonna matter
why are stupid people more happy than me
i don’t know how to communicate until it’s too late
for some reason 2017-2019 is such a big blur for me like i can’t remember anything from that time
the feeling will forever haunt my dreams because of you
it’s so hard living with parents who are both emotionally and a little mentally unstable. and i always have to be some sort of middle man between them.
it’s been this way ever since i was a kid. it’s not fair.
why should i have to put up with this.
how am i supposed to live like this.
you call me weak my entire life then suddenly i’m just supposed to become strong and tough?
how the fuck am i supposed to be tough when you coddled and sheltered me literally most of my life.
no matter what i was always be weak to you.
but i’m not supposed to hate you because you give me everything, right?
i have food on my plate, lights working in my room, a tv, clothes on my back and much more basic human needs etc.
but because of that i’m not supposed to hate you or be able to be angry or any other emotion then happy, right?
what can i feel then. what am i supposed to feel.
happy? grateful?
don’t get me wrong i am very grateful. very fucking grateful.
what i’m trying to say is, is that: why don’t i get to feel or react the way you do. why do i have to be stomped on for crying. why do i have to be crushed for feeling the way i feel. why can’t i react the way i wanna react, because i have basic needs that you provide me? isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? sometimes i wonder why did you even want me if you are just gonna call me weak or always make me feel weak.
i will always be doomed.
i try and i fucking try over and over again but somehow i just can’t live with it.
how the fuck am i supposed to block you out? or ignore you, but it never seems to work.
when i’m very upset i want to cry out of angry because i will always know, there’s nothing i can do about it.