This Is For Lovers || Alexei + Ghost!Kolya
They couldn't touch each other. Back then they couldn't touch because they were nervous teenagers, because Alexei was a grand Prince and Kolya was just a doctors son. Now they couldn't touch because Kolya was just a ghost. They lay naked on the grass, how many times had they done this? Part of him thinks not enough, not enough times did he have Kolya's company.
"What are you thinking about?"
He turned to face Kolya, smiling at him a little bit. "Just how I think I would kiss you right now if I could," He admits, rolling on his side until he is facing the spirit.
"You're too romantic for a Prince of Russia, you know that?"
"It's a good job you are too male and too dead to become my Queen," He replies with a laugh.
They both pause then, facing each other in the silence. He rarely missed the things he did not have. His life had been bloody and hectic, he didnt have time to reflect on being a human. He wasn't human now, he didn't think he could ever be again.
"You're my soulmate Kolya, I don't know how I am supposed to go on without you by my side."
He frowns then, reaching out as if to run his fingers through the princes hair, then stopping himself. "You did fine before when I wasn't around," He points out.
"I mutilated and murdered."
"You grieved and you fell in love"
"I didn't mean to. I forgot so much, and you're going to again and I am going to descend back into madness."
"You're stronger than that. The rightful Tsar of Russia."
"I want you to stay. I want you to be my royal advisor and I want to be loved."
Kolya smiled at him a little bit, shifting closer to Alexei, inches away from him, although they would never touch. "You know I have nothing to advise you on Lyosha. You have to learn to be happy without me, you would have had to learn when you found a wife."
He sniffles then, tugging his knees and curling them up. "It's not fair," He whispers. Everyone in the camp seemed to have someone to love, he just felt so lonely. He didn't want to be left alone again. Godric had a new life, new friends and new loves now. Sometimes he just felt so alone, he was distraught at the thought of Kolya being gone. They both fell silent after that, not able to take their eyes off each other, content to just lay. They didn't need to talk, to catch up, to discuss anything. Just to be quiet and love each other, and for Alexei to look at him, to forget that in a day or so, he would be all alone again, he would not feel the love again that radiated from the boy. He would feel nothing. Just emptiness.
