First Date gone oh so wrong
Karla Jenkins was ecstatic when Jonathan Rogers, the coolest dude in the tenth grade, asked her to the city fair. Like many a sixteen girl, Karla Jenkins was convinced that an oddly proportioned boy with un-managed blonde hair, narrow hips, and a slightly crooked nose was attractive because the rest of the sophomore class was also convinced that he was attractive. I only tell you this because it isn’t the moral of the story, but it’s important for you to know. Most popular guys aren’t attractive. Just a lot of other people think they are, so you get confused.
Finally, the day of the city fair arrived. Jonathan Rogers showed up at Karla’s house at 7:30 sharp, exactly four and half hours after he agreed to pick her up. While waiting for him, she had redone her hair twice, read an entire novel, bought $65.00 worth of makeup for $16.75 online, and reapplied her lipstick twenty-seven times. Her mother, exhausted, begged her to just give up and go to the 6:00 showing of some super hero movie with her parents and five younger brothers. But Karla was relentless. And it paid off, I guess, because at 7:30 Jonathan Rogers showed up.
Karla Jenkins wore a red dress, tight across her chest that flared out at her hips and hung down to her knees. Her hair was neatly twisted into a fishtail braid. She wore nude lipstick and coal eyeliner. By contrast, Jonathan Rogers showed up in baggy sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Yet, for some strange reason, Karla excitedly slipped into the passenger seat of his car instead of saying, “Oh hell no,” and going to get frozen yogurt with her best friend.
The fair was a downright disaster. Jonathan had obtained his older brother’s I.D. and immediately met up with a group of friends at the beer tent.
"Don’t you want to, I don’t know, play skee-ball or ride the ferris wheel or something?" Karla suggested as Jonathan began guzzling his second mug of beer.
"Yeah, sure, I guess," he muttered. "Just let me finish another drink." He and his buddies were talking and laughing about things that didn’t really need to be talked about and weren’t really funny.
Karla was uncomfortable. Then she was annoyed. Then she was angry. She had put on this nice dress, fixed her hair, and put layer upon layer of lipstick on her lips. Then, she’d waited for four hours for a poorly dressed loser with the inability to brush his hair to show up. For the only reward to be sitting on a sticky bench in a humid tent watching a hoard of sixteen year old boys boozing themselves into insanity.
So she left. Her first date with Jonathan Rogers would be here last. Good riddance.
Right outside the beer tent, she ran into another sixteen year old girl, Lacey Lang. Lacey was around six inches shorter than Karla. Her entire head was coated in rainbow colored curls. She wore bright pink lipstick, a teal dress, and a silver locket.
"Are you all right?" Lacey asked. "You look a bit… upset."
"Yeah, just on a terrible first date," Karla sighed.
"Oh. Are you ditching it?"
So Lacey and Karla spent the rest of the evening playing skee-ball and riding the ferris wheel. Lacey, who had impeccable aim, won them each giant Care Bears at that game where you throw darts at balloons. Karla, who had some pent up frustration, shot water at a target with such fervor that she was able to score them each plastic horses. They got matching henna tattoos over their collarbones. They ate cotton candy and got ridiculous caricatures drawn.
When Karla arrived home that evening, her mother asked her if she had a nice time on her date. Without hesitation, she responded, “I had the best time.” As she fell asleep that night, her thoughts never once returned to the horrible part of the evening when she was on the date that she had agreed to go on. So this is the real moral of the story: if you have to decide between hanging out with a sloppy drunk guy or a cute girl with rainbow hair? Pick the cute girl with rainbow hair.