I had no idea that fans, en masse, could be gracious
The last 24 hours have been fascinating for me. As a fan and a lesbian speculating about Dianna Agron’s actions and words, things both said an unsaid, is unavoidable. Of course I have my own ideas about what these moments mean. However, as an academic my purpose is to analyse how others react, the effect her actions have on the fandom. Of course at times it is hard to separate these parts of myself, but ultimately that is the job of the academic.
The initial jubilation over the t-shirt was, as always, heart-warming. This fandom again and again delights me with the joy it finds in feeling a connection, a kind of acceptance. Their love comes both from the idea that they see a part of themselves in Agron, but also that they see her as inspirational. She is in some ways a kindred spirit. Moreover, these fans also love each other, and moments like this bring them even closer together because they get the sense that Agron is speaking to them, that she understands them in some sense.
Now as I said, my job is not to personally speculate. But we know Agron is aware of what is said about her so there is no way in which she was unaware of how her actions would play into this game of speculation. Fans throw around the term ‘troll’ in jest, implicitly aware that this is a game both sides are playing.
Perhaps what surprised me most was this was not all game. Sure there was the fun at first, of guessing what it might mean, folding this moment into the story of Achele through shared jokes and references, but it was also so much more than that. There was a feeling among the fans that it felt as though she was standing up for them. That even if it wasn’t a coming out it was a brave moment in which Agron was saying that she didn’t care what was said about her, because, hey, what’s wrong with being gay? With one shirt she made the fandom feel accepted, proud.
I’ve said before this fandom gets a lot of stick, especially considering all they’re really doing is trying believe that there could, just maybe, be a real life love story that lived up to the fictions they rarely get to see. What could be so offensive about that? But somehow people do find it offensive. But the fandom stands proud and doesn’t bite back, always striving to be the bigger man in shipping wars.
Hours later when Agron responded I saw two things. Firstly a fandom tending its wounds. With the words “I’m not a lesbian” things changed, foundations shifted. Agron stopped playing the game. But secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I saw a fandom that quite graciously said “OK”. They accepted Agron’s statement at face-value but did not let it change their status as fans.
I’m glad I’ve been here for this journey, even as an outsider, seeing the highs and lows and watching this tale unfold. The story may not be going in the direction they want it to, but surely being non-canon shippers has taught them one thing; the story in your heart is often so much better than the real one. It’s the one in your heart that will bring you joy and laughter and tears (happy and sad) because the one in your heart is often the story you want to tell about yourself.