Mar 27, 2022
I do so love sleeping in until noon and then being too exhausted to even sit up and ready to sleep again by 3pm. That totally makes sense.
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I do so love sleeping in until noon and then being too exhausted to even sit up and ready to sleep again by 3pm. That totally makes sense.
I'll never have the same connections with other people that everyone else can because my mind is so broken and sick that it won't ever allow it and goddamn that feels so lonely sometimes.
That thing some days where you're trying to have a conversation with someone but there ends up being like an hour gap between every message you send because you have to calm down your panic attack about opening their message and then about sending yours every time 🙃
Where's that remove human spine meme? That's how I'm feeling right now
Goddamnit I'm so tired!! I could deal with having mental health episodes every once in a while but now these extreme unstable lows are just happening multiple times a week and on top of that I'm still in pain constantly and I still can't eat and I just am starting not to see the point anymore of this existence
This idea abled people have, that if I just wanted to do something enough I'd be able to push through and basically turn off my illness (mental or physical really) and that if I can't it means I'm not trying hard enough, is incredibly tiresome. Like, I wish it worked that way, I wish I could overcome anything and do whatever I want to do with a little determination and encouragement lmao. I even used to feel that way about my life, that I wouldn't let anything stop me. But now it isn't a matter of "letting" anything happen, I have absolutely no control over this, too often fighting only makes it worse, and that's actually a lot scarier to deal with for me than it is for you to watch happen trust me
I hate having trauma like come on that's such a dumb response. Like my brain just went "Hey this experience was awful, I think it'd be helpful to continue to bring it up and make you feel the same way you felt then at random forever"
I was gonna vent but even I'm tired of hearing about it like damn when is she gonna shut the fuck up