. @greatestsoldier . cont.
the loss feels impossibly profound, and it’s a weight on him that he cannot deny. his brother, his people — his realm. all had been ripped violently from him, and this on the eve of losing ——
his mind spins. for the first time in his long, long life, he has no idea what to do.
the admission had been difficult, wrung from him like blood through stone, and it was admission he would give to few others. steve, though, held his trust beyond all others, and ever would. they were of different lives, these two, but in steve he always found companionship, understanding, empathy. somewhere in this vast and complicated cosmos, here and only here could he believe that fate could entwine two souls with each other.
he is quiet, but the touch grounds him, pulls his mind from the spinning melancholy it had delved into when the other found him. ❛ i know, ❜ he says, and his voice is quiet. he looks up, not meeting steve’s eye just yet; there’s roiling emotion there that he’s too proud and stubborn to lay bare just yet, and his jaw tightens and eases as he swallows, thickly. ❛ and i am— i— ❜ grateful, he wants to say. gladdened for your support, his mind tells him. the actual words seize in his throat, though, and oh, he fights the emotion like it was an enemy, and this is a war that leaves clear tracks on his features. he is a being made of iron and fire, and neither of those things bend easily. ❛ i just do not know where to go from here. ❜ there’s a heartbeat of silence, and when he smiles, it’s agonizing, and maybe it’s an attempt at levity, or maybe it’s just another thing on the pile of misery that he’s faced. it’s hard to say. ❛ i lost my hammer. ❜