there's always been something unspoken between the two of them. something xander never touched, never brought up, never thought in depth about. it started when they shared hotel rooms during away games, how he'd wind up in justin's bed because he craved his warmth. or how when they stood a little too close, their hands just barely brushed and it sent shivers racing down xander's spine. there were too many nights where xander had to slip off to the shower and keep himself quiet as he got himself off to the thought of justin's lips wrapped around his length, doing it for him. "you are?" he swallowed hard when he spoke, tearing his gaze away until he noticed justin skate closer towards him and continue speaking. his heart was pounding inside of his chest. "you can't, justin. you can't have feelings for me." xander's jaw tenses. "and i can't have these feelings for you..but i do. i do and it kills me knowing i can't do anything about it."