blue trouble | alessia russo x child!reader x leah williamson
-> based on this request💙
grumpy masterlist
the team meeting had already stretched twenty minutes past its scheduled end, and alessia could feel her focus slipping, her eyes starting to feel heavy as the dark room got heavier and the bright screen seemingly got brighter.
sarina was talking tactics, but her mind kept drifting to you, your whirlwind energy currently under the dubious supervision of niamh charles and aggie beever-jones.
alessia had left you and the two chelsea players in the lounge fully equipped with snacks, crayons, and what alessia had thought were simple instructions: no sugar, no chaos, and please no teaching you any new chants that would be used to wake her up on her days off.
leah caught alessia fidgeting from across the table, giving her that soft, knowing smile. "she'll be fine, less. it's aggie and niamh, their both sensible not the bloody joker and harley quinn."
alessia raised an eyebrow going her girlfriend a pointed look. "you've clearly never seen them together for longer than ten minutes."
leah chuckled quietly, reaching over to squeeze alessia's hand beneath the table. "they adore her. what is the worst that could happen?"
the answer to leah's question arrived an hour later.
as soon as alessia stepped out of the meeting room, the sound of your little laughter was echoing down the hallway. the sharp, melodic giggle that made everyone nearby grin instinctively. relief started to flood alessia for a second.. until she saw you.
you were running to your mummy, arms open, your little curls bouncing as your cheeks were flushed with delight and now dressed head to toe in blue and not the light pink tracksuit alessia had dressed you in this morning.
"mummy, look!" you squealed, sliding slightly to stop yourself as you twirled in the slightly oversized shirt. "aggie and niamh got me a new blue football kit!"
alessia blinked. once, then again, twice. then her eyes dropped to the small crest on the chest of the shirt.
the unmistakable lion and badge. it wasn't just any blue. it was chelsea blue.
"oh my god-" her voice came out as a whisper. "you didn't" alessia turned slowly, eyes wide to where niamh and aggie both stood clearly trying and failing not to burst out laughing.
"we was playing dress up, she wanted to be the blue team" niamh said quickly, hands up in mock surrender.
as aggie chimed in, "we've been in need for a little mascot, and niamh's had this kit for ages, so we just.."
"you just what, took advantage of the fact the she can't read properly?" alessia said, eyes wide. "you've actually put my child in chelsea gear?"
your grin only grew wider. "mummy, aggie say it's local team! i blue team now!"
that did it. the words blue team felt like a dagger to the heart of every arsenal fan within earshot even if you had been told a white lie of the team it was, as if you'd known you would have down right refused.
but before alessia could even process the absurdity of it, another voice sharp, clipped, and unmistakably protective cut through the corridor like a dagger
"take that off her. now."
leah.
her water bottle clinked as it hit against her phone like thunder as she marched toward them, expression unreadable except for the dangerous flicker in her eyes that said someone (probably two someones) were about to be in serious trouble.
"le," alessia began gently, trying to sound calm, "it's fine, it's just harmless—"
but leah was already crouched in front of you, her jaw tightening as she stared down the badge on your chest.
"angel," leah said, voice low but stern, "where did you get this?"
you pointed helpfully. "ags! niamh! they say blue team is good!"
"that blue team is chelsea," leah said, eyes flicking upward to the guilty duo. "and chelsea is not good, cause we arsenal"
aggie snorted under her breath. "depends who you ask."
leah's glare could've frozen lava. your little face scrunched in confusion. "not good? blue pretty!”
leah exhaled, softening instantly at your innocent tone. leah brushed a curl from your forehead, her hand gentling. "blue is pretty, darling. but not that blue. that blue means chelsea. and because we're arsenal, we don't wear chelsea.”
you gasped dramatically, clapping your hands over your mouth as it started to click, your eyes glancing at the familiar badge now. "oh no. mummy, i wear bad blue?"
alessia bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to laugh. "it's okay, baby. you didn't know, a certain duo have been telling you fibs."
"but—now mama angry?" you whispered, glancing at leah nervously.
leah sighed, her expression cracking into a reluctant smile. "no, i’m not angry with you, angel. angry with them." she nodded toward aggie and niamh.
"hey! we were just having a laugh!" niamh protested. "didn't think she'd—"
"didn’t think she'd what?" leah snapped lightly. "parade through camp in chelsea colours?"
"she looked happy!" aggie offered. "less said to make sure she’s happy!"
"happy is arsenal red," leah shot back without missing a beat.
that finally broke alessia, who let out a snort of laughter she couldn't contain. leah’s eyes narrowed at her. "don’t you start, less. you of all people..”
"le," alessia managed between giggles, "you're acting like she joined the club."
"she might as well have!" leah said indignantly, still clutching the offending shirt like it was evidence of treason.
—
later that night, after everyone had bantered leah over the millions of photos aggie and niamh had took of you in the chelsea shirt. it was now just the three of them in their room, own little bubble.
alessia was brushing your hair while leah sat cross-legged on the bed, still muttering under her breath about "corrupting influences" and "bad colour choices."
"mama?" you said sleepily, peering up at her. "you forgive me for blue?"
leah’s features softened completely. she reached out and pulled you into her lap, pressing a kiss into your hair. "there’s nothing to forgive, angel. you didn't know. it was just... a silly joke."
you nodded, cuddling in. "i love red best. i arsenal girl foreva’”
alessia smiled from across the room, watching leah melt under the weight of those sleepy curls and earnest words.
when you finally drifted off, tucked in with your esme and little gunnersaurus teddy, alessia climbed into bed beside leah, who was still staring at the discarded chelsea shirt lying in the corner thinking of a way to get rid of it.
"you know," alessia teased quietly, "you might be the only person in camp who took this personally."
leah shot her a sideways glance. "she’s our little gunner, lessi. she wears red. end of."
alessia laughed softly, leaning her head on leah’s shoulder. "god help us when you see her baby photos of her in manchester red then..”
golden waves | alessia russo x child!reader x leah williamson
grumpy masterlist
the sun was high and golden, painting the ocean in glittering shades of turquoise and silver as the boat cut through the calm ibiza waters.
alessia was leaning against the railing, sunglasses perched on her nose, hair damp from the salty breeze as the sun shone on her toned legs. behind her, leah was stretching out on a sunbed, one arm casually thrown over her face, the other scrolling lazily on her phone.
but the real energy came from the smallest member of the family.
"mummy! mama! look at the splashes!" you squealed, your curls lightened from the sun as you bounced as you looked over the side of the boat.
safely secured in your bright pink life jacket covered in cartoon turtles that you had chosen from the small shop around the corner from the villa you were staying in.
you slapped your tiny hands against the railing with excitement as the boat slowed, bobbing gently now that they'd reached a swim spot.
alessia smiled, heart full. after the chaos of the euros; the training, the tension, the time apart, the matches that felt like they lasted a lifetime.
this was what she'd craved after a busy summer filled with winning: now was time for sun, sea, and her girls.
"careful, lovie," alessia said, coming to kneel beside her daughter and smoothing a curl out of your face. "don't lean too far, yeah? you'll give mummy a heart attack."
"i not leaning," you replied in that cheeky voice that always makes leah snort slightly. "i just lookin'! it's sooo blue!" your eyes were wide, almost hypnotized by the way the sun sparkled on the water.
leah sat up then, tossing her phone aside and padding over barefoot. she crouched next to them, resting a steady hand on your life jacket strap as if to silently assure both herself and alessia. "pretty cool, isn't it, angel?" leah said softly. "wait till you're in it then it's even better."
well that was the plan, after all. the skipper had told them it was one of the clearest swimming spots around, perfect for a little dip. alessia was already picturing herself floating on her back, tension draining out of her muscles.
"ready to swim?" alessia asked, voice all lightness and hope as she tugged gently at the zip of your jacket.
but the excitement dimmed in your eyes. you glanced at the open water, then back at your mums. "it...big," you whispered, chewing your lip as if contemplating your options. "too big."
alessia exchanged a glance with leah, the kind that carried entire conversations in a second. the two crouch lower, so they were eye-level with you
"it is big," leah said first, voice calm and low like she always gets when she is coaxing you through something. "but that's why we've got this," she tapped the front of your life jacket with two fingers, "and why you've got us. we’re not going anywhere."
"you think i’d let you go for a swim without me?" your mummy teased, bumping her shoulder gently against yours. "not a chance, cheeky monkey."
you still looked doubtful, your tiny fingers gripping your mummy’s bikini strap like an anchor. "but what if i sink?"
"you won't," alessia promised, pulling you a little closer and kissing the top of your head. "not with this magic jacket on. and guess what? me and mama will hold you the whole time, okay?"
leah smiled then, brushing her knuckles against your cheek. "you trust us, yeah?"
after a long pause, you gave the smallest nod, curls bouncing. "atta girl," leah murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.
they all moved slow, like a little ritual. alessia slid into the water first, letting out a satisfied sigh at the warmth the sun blaring at clear water.
leah followed and then they both reached up for you, who came down carefully, legs clamped around leah’s waist like a koala.
"you’re in!" alessia cheered softly, smoothing your wet curls back as you clung to leah. "look at you, brave girl."
you peeked one eye open, then the other, and finally, finally you let out a giggle as the water lapped around your toes.
"it warm!" you said, wonder blooming across your face, it not feeling like the usual inflatable pool in the back garden or like the hotel pool you’d been in.
"told you," leah whispered into your ear, squeezing you tight.
the rest was easy. you went from clinging like a limpet to splashing between them, squealing as your mummy held your hands and floated you on your back.
leah spotting from behind. the sound of your laughter bounced off the waves, carrying across the water like the happiest kind of echo.
and alessia? she stole a glance at leah in the sunlight, hair slicked back, freckles out, eyes soft as they watched the little girl between them. for a moment, it felt like something holy. the three of them, suspended in blue, hearts lighter than they'd been in months.
suddenly, you stilled, eyes widening as something brushed softly against your leg. "mummy!" you gasped, looking down at the water. "something touched me!"
alessia tensed for half a second before leah leaned close, her voice calm and coaxing. "it’s just a little fishy, lovie. they’re just saying hello."
as if on cue, a tiny silver shimmer darted past, catching the sunlight like a living jewel. then another. and another.
your jaw dropped. "there sparkly," you whispered, the awe in your voice enough to make alessia laugh quietly as you watched the school of fish beneath your feet.
"they think you're sparkly too," alessia said, smiling as she shifted her hold so you could dip her fingers beneath the surface. "feel that?"
you squealed when one brushed against your feet again, the sensation so quick and strange it made you giggle uncontrollably. "it tickled! do it again!"
"they’re fast, baby," your mummy said, grinning as more silver shapes flitted beneath them. "but they like you. told you, you were a mermaid."
you beamed, cheeks flushed with excitement, and alessia felt something warm swell in her chest. a happiness so simple and pure it almost hurt.
leah caught her eye over your curls, and in that shared look was everything: love, safety, and the quiet understanding that these were the moments they'd both live for.
for a heartbeat, alessia wished she could freeze time. just the three of them, sunlight and saltwater and laughter mingling with the sea breeze, you giggling at the tickle of fish as the world spun gently on around them.
family line | alessia russo x teen!reader x leah williamson
-> based on this request⚽️ | kinda got carried away with this one.. this has been long awaited, i do apologise x
grumpy masterlist | part two to blood, not bond
the final whistle had barely stopped ringing when your teammates swarmed you. the stands were buzzing, chants still echoing, claps still bouncing off the metal. that winning goal was magic and it was yours.
you didn't even remember the ball leaving your foot. just the way it sliced through the air, curling past the keeper into the top right corner. the winning goal. your goal. the kind you dream of scoring in training sessions when no one's watching.
but this time? everyone was watching.
you were swarmed by teammates. sweaty hugs, high-fives, chants of your name echoing from the stands. your mum and mama were up on their feet, beaming from the side of the pitch.
a few of the arsenal women's past players were clapping, laughing in celebration. even your grandparents had made the trip, wrapped in red and white scarves.
you had never felt so full. you stood just off the pitch, still buzzing, breathing hard, eyes scanning the crowd like you always did. and then-
"y/n!"
you turned. that voice. that voice. your chest skipped.
your dad. harrison.
for a second, maybe just a second, your heart lifted. he was here. for you. and maybe this time, he meant it.
but then you saw them.
a few steps behind him, hand-in-hand, were louis and lily. dressed in arsenal hoodies, like this was their day out too. and next to them their mum and his girlfriend, zoey.
the smile that had barely started to form on your face dropped, instantly. you froze.
he was smiling like nothing was wrong, like he hadn't missed three matches in a row. like he hadn't cancelled two weeks ago without texting back. like this wasn't the first time he'd shown up in months.
and he brought them. it wasn't fair.
you turned sharply, not saying a word, and walked the other way and straight off the side of the field, through the gate, into the quieter back path by the training building. your breaths were quick, hands shaking. your chest was tight and hot with anger, confusion, betrayal.
and tears hot, furious ones.
you didn't want to cry, not now, not in your kit with your name just being chanted five minutes ago but you couldn't stop yourself as you walked.
your mum, alessia stood on the side of the pitch with your mama, leah her arms folded but grinning so wide her face hurt.
"she was unreal," leah grinned, nudging alessia's side. "she's got your finish, babe."
alessia laughed. "she's got more than mine. i'd never have pulled that off at her age."
and then they both saw you out the corner of their eyes.
you just seconds ago full of light and pride, suddenly frozen still in the middle of the path, eyes locked on something in the crowd.
alessia's grin slipped instantly. "what's she looking at?"
leah squinted. "she okay?"
before they could get closer, you turned sharply on your heel and stormed off boots crunching against the gravel as you shoved past the metal barrier and headed toward the back of the training building.
"lovie!" alessia called, already jogging a few steps after you. "lovie, what happened?!"
no response, not even a glance. you just kept walking, just the telltale shaking of your shoulders as you walked faster. alessia's chest tightened. you were crying. "something is wrong," alessia turned to leah. "she was fine one second ago, then—"
leah grabbed alessia's wrist, stopping her. leah's eyes locked onto something, someone, just off to the side of the crowd.
"hang on."
alessia turned to follow her gaze. and sure enough there he was. harrison.
grinning from ear to ear, holding a coffee that probably wasn't just coffee. behind him stood louis and lily, the little ones giggling and completely unaware of the tension crackling in the air. zoey, his current girlfriend, stood with them, chatting quietly with them as she held both their hands.
leah's face fell instantly. "oh," leah muttered under her breath, voice low and sharp. "i think i know why she ran.
alessia's head snapped toward her. "what?" leah just nodded toward harrison.
alessia turned, heart plummeting the second she saw that stupid smug look plastered across his face.
he lifted his cup lazily toward them in some kind of cheers gesture. "she scored, didn't she? my girls’ got a hell of a left foot on her!" he shouted.
"is he-?" leah started.
"yep," alessia said through clenched teeth. "he's been drinking." alessia blinked, fury slowly building behind her eyes. "where does he get the fucking nerve-?"
harrison took a few steps toward them, walking like the pitch belonged to him, voice still way too loud. "told ya she got it from me. that turn, the hit- proper striker instincts. she's got my blood in her!"
alessia's fists clenched at her sides. "you didn't play foot-.. soccer in college harrison. you played football, you were quarterback. there totally different. and anyways you think showing up once every few months gives you a right to say that?"
harrison scoffed. "oh come on, lessi. you know i had the chance to go pro- didn't wanna though, had other opportunities. but can't i just be proud of my daughter without getting chewed at?"
"it's alessia to you." alessia spat, a sarcastic chuckle coming from her at his words of his 'chance' of going pro when in reality it was far from it.
leah stepped forward now, her tone cutting. "you don't get to call her your daughter when you only turn up when it's convenient. she thought you came for her today. but you brought your little fan club, just to show off."
"nah it's not like that," he slurred slightly, waving his cup. "lils and lou were excited. they love her, they know she's their big sister. thought it'd be a nice surprise."
alessia's eyes narrowed. "you thought springing them on her in front of a crowd, after she just gave everything on that pitch, would be what? cute?"
"i am trying!" he snapped, voice rising. "you lot are always on my case. at least i'm here."
leah laughed bitterly. "no, mate. you're physically here. that's not the same as showing up."
"she walked off crying, harrison," alessia finally said, voice low with pain. "you had one job today. let her have this. let her have one moment where it wasn't about you."
his face twitched slightly like he didn't understand the words coming from alessia. "she's overreacting. she needs to grow up. life's not always about her."
and that? that was the final straw.
leah took a step toward him, voice suddenly cold and lethal. "you don't get to gaslight her into thinking your failure is her selfishness."
harrison rolled his eyes. "the girl is nearly seventeen. it's not like i haven't tried."
"you've tried just enough to keep the guilt off your back," alessia said, taking a shaky breath. "and every time you do, she hopes it's different. and every time, she ends up in tears. like she is right now."
from a few feet away, zoey stepped forward finally, her voice soft but firm. "haz," zoey said taking a step forward as her hand rested on his forearm, the sound of the all too familiar nickname making the hairs on alessia's arm rise, "maybe this wasn't the right call."
harrison stared at his girlfriend, zoey. "i thought you said they should meet-“
"i did, but i said not like this," zoey said gently. "not like a performance." he scoffed again, muttering something under his breath neither of them caught.
alessia stood her ground, fists clenched, fire in her eyes. she was shaking, but it wasn't from fear or doubt. it was pure, raw, unfiltered rage. the years of frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak all coming to a head.
"you don't even see what you've done, do you?" alessia shouted at him, her voice piercing through the crowd's whispers. "you've shattered her again, harrison. all that little girl has ever wanted was one thing from you. to show up and be proud of her. and you've just shown again that you couldn't even do that."
harrison didn't flinch. instead, he laughed. too loudly, too dismissively, as if the moment didn't matter. "oh come on, alessia. give me a break. i'm here, aren't i? that's more than i ever was, right? you can't expect me to drop everything every time you call me out for her problems."
alessia's jaw tightened. "her problems? she's your daughter, harrison. you don't get to just walk in and out of her life whenever it suits you. that's not how it works. she's not some accessory to your life. she's not a mistake that you can just ignore when it's convenient for you."
"i ain't ignoring her!" he snapped, face reddening, taking a step forward. "i've tried, alright? i've tried to be there, but it's always you getting in the way."
"me?" alessia's voice rose, sharp and biting. "i've spent years protecting her from you! every time you failed her, i picked up the pieces. every single fucking time. so no, don't stand there and tell me that i'm the problem, when you can't even show up for her once in a while without making it about you."
"you're always playing the martyr, alessia!" harrison shot back, his voice full of venom now. "you act like you're the only one who's been through this! i never asked for this, you know? i didn't ask to be a dad. i didn't ask you to keep her. i didn't ask for you to show up pregnant, i wasn't ready, i was kid!
"yeah well takes two to make a baby doesn't it-" alessia's breath hitched her face twisting. "you think it was easy for me, harrison? do you honestly think i wanted to raise her on my own? you think i didn't need you? i did. but i never had you… not really."
he crossed his arms, smirking now. "well, maybe that's the way it was meant to be. maybe you didn't need me. maybe y/n's better off without me in her life. it easier for you to pretend you're the only one who's ever been there.”
alessia's face twisted with disbelief once again, not being able to believe the words which were actually leaving his lips. "i never pretended. but she has to watch you show up whenever it's convenient for you, and now you have your little family, and you think she's just going to be okay with that?"
"you don't get to turn up with your new kids and expect her to just smile and forget how you've abandoned her for years."
"you think this is my fault?" he sneered, voice dripping with sarcasm. "she's the one who's pushing me away. she doesn't even try to make it work. so, maybe she's not as perfect as you think she is, huh? maybe you've been coddling her too much."
"you have no idea what you're talking about," alessia spat, her fists trembling. "you think she doesn't try? she's been waiting for you, hoping you'd show up for years. and now you have the nerve to show up with your perfect little family, parading your new kids around like you're some big hero father of the fucking year. it's pathetic."
harrison scoffed, shaking his head as if she was the one being unreasonable. "i have my own family now. my own life. i can't keep bending over backward for a daughter who can't meet me in the middle. she has to learn how to deal with things on her own. you've got this whole little world you've built for her, and now i'm just supposed to fit in now? i never have, you've never wanted me to, less."
alessia's entire body went rigid, her eyes flashing with fury. "she's still your daughter, harrison! your flesh and blood and you don't just get to decide when it's convenient to be a dad. y/n doesn't need you for perfect moments or showing off for your new kids. she needs you to be there when it's hard. when it's real."
"yeah? well, i'm here now," he sneered, throwing his hands up, slurring the words more. "and what do you want me to do about it? you always making me the bad guy. always acting like you're the one with the answer to everything. i'm not the villain in this. i'm just trying to live my life. you're the one who keeps holding her back."
alessia stepped forward, her eyes blazing with an intensity that made even harrison step back slightly.
"no, you are the villain, harrison," she said, her voice low, the words cutting through the tension like a knife. "because every time you walk away, every time you make it about yourself, you hurt her. and you've been doing it for years. you think she'll just forget? you think she'll just smile and pretend you didn't leave her to wait for you while you moved on with your perfect little life?"
harrison, for once, didn't know how to respond, didn't have a smarmy comment to make. he opened his mouth, but nothing came out. for once, he looked... defeated.
alessia took a deep breath. "you've had so many chances over the years, and every single time you mess it up. that girl, your daughter deserves better than this. better than you."
before harrison could respond, leah stepped in, her tone final and cutting. "no you've messed it up enough, mate. leave her be."
alessia's chest heaved, her words still echoing in her mind. "i'm done," she said, quieter now, but firm. "and so is y/n."
the anger that had simmered for so long between them was now fully unleashed, and it felt like everything had come crashing down all at once. harrison was left standing there speechless, but knowing in his gut that for once, he was the one who was wrong.
and now, it was too little, too late to make it right. alessia didn’t give him the chance to respond, instead just letting out a breath she hadn’t even realised she was holding and spinning on her heel, leah making sure to get one last glare in at him before following alessia who was in doubt of mind searching to comfort you.
the sun was low now, casting long shadows over the far end of the training ground. the crowd had mostly filtered out, leaving only a few stragglers and the distant buzz of conversations.
alessia stormed around the back of the building, cheeks flushed and jaw tight, leah close behind her. the confrontation with harrison still ringing in her ears.
the shouting, the disbelief, the absolute nerve of him showing up like that. with his perfect little picture zoey, louis, and lily as if this was some feel-good family day out.
"i’m sure she ran this way," alessia said breathlessly, eyes scanning the benches. "i saw her. she was crying—"
"there," leah said, nodding toward the corner to where you were sat curled up on a bench, facing the fence. your shoulders were hunched, arms wrapped tightly around your knees, head tucked in.
"lovie," alessia called softly as they approached. "baby, it's me."
"no go away," you muttered. your voice hoarse clear that you had been crying as you stayed still, not lifting her head.
leah crouched beside you, keeping her voice even. "angel, we aren’t going anywhere."
"i said go away." you snapped, turning slightly. your eyes were red, cheeks streaked with tears. "you’ve already done your bit, yelled at him, told him off. gold star for parenting for both of you."
alessia flinched but didn't back off, she knew your words were just out of pure anger towards your dad, not them. "hey, that’s not why we're here."
"then why are you here?" you said, standing abruptly. "to make me feel better? you can't. he ruined it. again. and i’m tired of everyone acting like that's surprising."
leah stood beside alessia now, her expression still soft but firm. "no, y/n you don't get to stand here pretending you're not hurting when we know you are."
you barked a humorless laugh. "what gave it away? the tears or the part where i ran off in front of everyone like some little kid?"
"no one's judging you," alessia said gently, trying to take a step closer to you but you took one back.
"well, maybe i am." your voice cracked. "maybe i’m just sick of being disappointed. every time he shows up, i let myself believe it'll be different. i let myself care and i hate that. i hate that i smiled a little when i heard his voice cause then he does this-“
your voice dropped as fresh tears filled your eyes. "he brings them. like i’m supposed to just smile and play big sister. like i haven't spent half my life waiting for him to care."
alessia took a slow breath, trying again and taking a step closer. "you don't have to smile. you don't have to be okay. and you don't owe him a thing."
"but why now?" you whispered, your voice threatening to crack. "why today?"
you sat back down on the bench with a thud, voice barely holding together. "i scored the winner. it was my game. for once, people were actually here for me. and then i look over, and he's got his arm around them like they're everything he ever wanted."
"you are everything," alessia said fiercely, kneeling in front of you. "to me. to us. you hear me? you always have been."
"but clearly not to him!" you burst out, fists clenched. "and it's not fair. it’s never been fair."
your voice cracked entirely as you finally let go, the sobs hitting all at once.
"i waited. every birthday. every school play. every time i scored. and he just... didn't come. not unless it suited him. and now he gets to play stupid happy families while i sit here wondering why i wasn't enough."
alessia pulled you into her arms before the last word had even left your lips. you collapsed into your mum’s chest, the weight of years breaking loose all at once.
leah wrapped her arms around both of them, her voice quiet but steady. "you were always enough, angel. he just didn't know how to show up for someone like you."
"he promised," you choked out. "he promised he'd try. i remember. i was little, but i remember."
“i remember too.” alessia’s eyes welled as she held her daughter tighter. "and lovie if i could go back.. to the moment when he first came back knowing what i know now, he would have never got through the front door.”
you hummed, mumbling. “it’s not your fault that he’s stupid, mum.” the three of you sat like that, three hearts pressed close, one breaking, two trying to hold it together. while the cheers from the game faded, and only the truth remained:
this was your moment. and he'd taken it. but you still had them. you still had home.
…
that evening, the light poured softly through the kitchen windows of your family home, casting a golden hue over the wooden counters and the half-eaten celebratory cake still sitting on the table.
the air was quieter now, but the emotions still hummed beneath the surface raw, unspoken, but thick in the space.
you sat at the kitchen table, curled up in one of the chairs, arms folded tightly across her chest, the sleeves of your hoodie pulled over your hands.
your eyes were tired. dried tear marks still clung to your cheeks, now faded from your shower but still there. even though you wouldn't let yourself cry again. not now.
you barely registered the sound of the front door opening until a familiar voice called out.
"where is our superstar?" mario’s deep, warm voice carried into the kitchen, followed by the soft click of carol’s heels.
"we brought flowers," carol said as they walked in, holding out a bouquet that looked far too elegant to have come from a petrol station so clearly mario had been sent into a proper florist.
you gave them a small smile. "hey, nonna. nonno. mum is just in the shower and mama and just nipped to the shop.”
mario leaned down to kiss her head, then ruffled your curls. "oh we can catch them later. we really came to spend time with our superstar. heard you scored the winner. you made us proud, darling."
"course she did," carol said, smoothing your shoulder before pulling up a chair beside her. "you’re a russo through and through. got the goal-scoring in your blood."
you shrugged. "didn’t really feel like it today."
carol’s smile faded gently. "we heard what happened. from your mum."
you didn't answer.
mario sat across from you, setting the flowers on the table. "you don't have to talk about it. but you can if you want to."
you stayed silent for a beat, eyes fixed on the table. then, quietly:
"he brought them. his new family. to my match."
carol reached over, gently covering your hand with her own.
"i didn't even know they were coming. he didn't warn me. just... turned up with them. and i-i felt so stupid for being glad he came at first."
mario sighed heavily, rubbing his jaw. "tiny, tesoro... that man's made more mistakes than you ever deserved to live through. but feeling hope when you see your dad… that doesn't make you stupid. it makes you human."
you blinked rapidly, throat tightening. "i don't even want to care anymore. i wish i didn't. but i do. and it hurts."
"of course it does," carol said softly. "it’s okay to say that. it’s okay to be angry. you’ve earned the right to feel every single bit of this."
you swallowed hard. "he always said he was trying. that he'd do better. that it just took time."
mario leaned forward. "when you were four, and he turned up at the door again after leaving your mum to do it all on her own. i looked that boy in the eye and told him: 'don’t come back if you're only going to break her heart.' he said he'd changed. said he'd show up. you know how many times i believed that?"
you looked up at your grandfather, eyes glassy. "how many?"
"none," mario said simply. "because showing up once doesn't matter if you don't keep showing up."
carol nodded. "but we showed up. your mum, your mama, us. every time. we watched you grow into this smart, fierce, unstoppable young woman. and nothing he does or doesn't do can ever take that away."
you looked between them, the familiar ache in your chest beginning to ease just slightly.
"i just didn't want to feel invisible today," you whispered. mario stood and walked around the table, crouching beside your chair and cupping your cheek in his hand.
"you are never invisible. not today, not ever. we saw you. everyone saw you. and your mum — well god help anyone who tries to steal her daughter's spotlight again."
that drew a faint laugh from you. carol leaned in too, kissing your forehead. "you don't need him to shine, my love. you already do, all on your own”
and finally, you let yourself lean into their touch, into the comfort only grandparents could offer. you weren’t healed. not yet. but you weren’t alone. not in this. not ever.
just a little one from me:) used the fixture tonight but not based on it what’s so ever, enjoy!🩷
grumpy universe
the physio wrapped alessia’s ankle twice before finally letting her leave the treatment room. it was the afternoon and the world cup qualifiers were just about to begin in turkey, with england about to face ukraine.
but alessia had tweaked her ankle in training just days before, ruling her out of this first match for pure precaution to ensure it didn’t get worse.
“just rest it,” they’d said as alessia gave a sad smile. as if that was easy.
the stadium was loud like properly loud, usual for an such a small venue. the kind of noise that usually settled in alessia’s chest and made her feel electric. but today she wasn’t in her boots. she wasn’t in the tunnel either and wasn’t lining up beside the girls.
today alessia was in the stands. her ankle was strapped tight under her jeans. nothing serious, just a precaution after a small muscle strain but enough to keep her out of the match day squad.
she hated it. it was a rare feeling that she wasn’t used to. hated just watching. hated not being able to help her team.
but when a small, sticky hand slipped into hers, clutching jelly sweets like treasure, the frustration softened slightly. you climbed onto the seat beside your mummy, swallowed whole by an oversized england shirt with of course the usual number on the back.
“mummy,” you asked loudly over the crowd, “why aren’t you down there?”
alessia smiled, brushing a curl from her daughter’s forehead.“my ankle’s a bit sore, remember? so i’m resting it.”
you narrowed your eyes suspiciously, your sweets falling from your side slightly. “did you forget to stretch?”
alessia laughed under her breath. “cheeky.”
down on the pitch, the girls were finishing their warm-up. you waved enthusiastically toward the field.
“there is auntie ella?”
alessia followed your finger that was pointing towards ella, who was doing exaggerated high knees and very clearly playing to the crowd and as always singing along to the stadium music.
“yep, that’s tooney.”
“why does she run funny?”
“she doesn’t run funny.”
“but she does mummy.”
alessia bit her lip to stop from laughing. “you can tell her that after the match.”
they’d whistle blew for kickoff and you shuffled closer without asking, climbing straight into alessia’s lap. alessia wrapped both arms around her instinctively, chin resting on top of her daughter’s head.
the calm surprised her.
usually on match day her body buzzed. today, holding you steady while the game unfolded in front of them, everything felt quieter and softer. like this was how she was supposed to watch every game, watching it through your eyes.
“mummy,” you whispered after a few minutes, eyes glued to the pitch, “why do they pass backwards? the goal is that way?”
alessia smiled into your hair. “sometimes you have to go back to go forward.”
you gasped like this was groundbreaking news. “that’s a bit silly.”
a tackle happened near the halfway line, georgia and a the opposing midfielder and you stiffened immediately. “is she okay?!” you panicked.
you watched intensely until the georgia was back on her feet.
“you should kiss it better.”
alessia blinked, her brows furrowing. “on the pitch?”
“yes.”
“i don’t think the ref would like that.” you frowned at the injustice.
midway through the first half, england won a corner. the crowd rose and you followed, wobbling on the seat before gripping alessia’s shoulders for balance.
“MUMMY LOOK! THEY’RE ALL SQUISHED!”
alessia laughed softly. “that’s called marking, lovie.”
“look like pushing to me.”
“well… yeah sometimes.”
the ball swung in. england scored. the stadium erupted.
you screamed purely because everyone else screamed, arms flailing wildly before you buried your face in alessia’s neck from the noise.
alessia held you tight, one hand cupping the back of her head. “it’s okay, lovie. that’s just cheering.”
you peeked out slowly. “we did it?”
“we did.”
even though alessia hadn’t touched the ball. even though she’d spent the week frustrated at her body for letting her down.
up here, with you asking a hundred questions and clinging to her like she was the safest place in the world, it felt different.
it felt important, more special.
the second half rolled on and you began narrating her own version of the match.
“she’s running too fast.”
“why the lady in yellow angry?”
“does the grass get tired?”
alessia answered every single question seriously.
by the seventy-minute mark, your little voice had gone quiet. your small body felt heavier against alessia’s chest.
“you getting tired, lovie?” alessia whispered.
“no,” you muttered stubbornly, eyes already blinking slowly. “i’m watchin’.”
by full time, you were fast asleep. your cheek squished against alessia’s hoodie. one tiny fist still gripping the fabric. the final whistle blew and the stadium stood again, applauding.
alessia stayed seated just a moment longer, looking down at the pitch at her team celebrating together.
then she adjusted you carefully on her hip and stood “come on then,” she murmured softly. “let’s go see the aunties.”
staff waved her down without hesitation, smiling as she stepped onto the pitch with a sleeping toddler curled against her shoulder.
the girls were forming the usual post-match circle when they spotted alessia.
“oi!” someone called. grins spread instantly around the circle.
alessia stepped into the middle carefully. the noise softened automatically, as if the entire team understood there was a tiny human asleep in their space.
beth leaned forward first, peering dramatically at you.
“blimey,” beth whispered. “we played that good we tired the kiddo out.” a ripple of quiet laughter passed around them.
from the other side, lucy shook her head, hands on her hips “best compliment we’ve had all night,” lucy said softly. “straight to sleep.”
alessia smiled, adjusting your legs gently. “she said you were all ‘too squished’ at corners,” alessia murmured.
lucy grinned. “tatical squish.” beth reached out carefully, brushing one finger against your tiny trainer.
“she was cheering before kickoff, by the way. had her mini manager moment but proper little lioness.”
the circle tightened then: arms over shoulders, careful not to jostle alessia too much. leah started speaking then sarina, voice steady and proud, talking about the clean sheet, the work rate, the fight.
alessia listened, breathing in the mix of grass and cold evening air. this was where she belonged. and somehow… so did you even if all you brung was sticky fingers and random questions. you still brought the calmness in a strange way.
when the team chant started, it was softer than usual. less roar, more rumble. protective without anyone saying it out loud.
at the final shout, you stirred slightly. alessia swayed instinctively like she’d done a million times before “it’s okay, baby.”
you blinked just enough to mumble against your mummy’s shoulder. “did we win?”
lucy crouched down to your level, smiling. “we did, kiddo.”you gave a satisfied little nod and fell straight back asleep.
beth looked at alessia and grinned. “yep,” she said quietly. “definitely player of the match.”
alessia just held her daughter a little tighter. and for once, she didn’t mind not being the one on the pitch.
this has been in the archives for ages, that long that i can’t remember if it was a request or a silly idea i had one night but anyways i’ve changed a few bits from when i originally wrote it and here it is🙃
grumpy masterlist
the waiting room smelled like antiseptic and old magazines. alessia sat in the corner, hands buried deep in the pocket of her college hoodie, hood pulled low like it could shield her from the weight pressing down on her chest.
it was too bright in here. too real.
alessia scrolled aimlessly on her phone, ignoring the way her fingers shook against the screen. notifications from the team group chat popped up: training updates, memes, the usual chaos. but she didn't open them.
she couldn't. now when her stomach churned with something heavier than nerves before a huge final.
"alessia russo?"
alessia's head snapped up at the sound of her name. the nurse gave her a kind smile, clipboard tucked against her side like this was any other thursday. alessia swallowed hard, pushed herself up, and followed.
the hallway felt too long, like each step dragged her further into a life she wasn't ready for but couldn't turn away from either.
inside, the room was small and sterile. a monitor sat in the corner, screen black and waiting. the paper on the exam bed crinkled as alessia climbed up, her heart hammering against her ribs.
"and you're here for your first ultrasound?" the tech asked, glancing at the chart in her hands as she smiled warmly. "how exciting."
alessia nodded because words stuck in her throat. exciting wasn't exactly the word she'd pick. terrifying, maybe. overwhelmed, definitely. but instead alessia just mumbled a small, "yeah," and forced a small smile.
"first baby?" the woman continued, snapping on a pair of gloves as she moved the machine closer to the bed where alessia was lying.
"uh... yeah." alessia shifted on the bed, her fingers twisting in the edge of the paper sheet.
"you nervous?" the question was gentle, teasing almost, like the woman had seen this a thousand times before.
alessia let out a breathy laugh that sounded nothing like a laugh. "a little, yeah" alessia admitted, voice quiet.
"that's normal," the tech assured her. "everyone feels that way the first time no matter what they say. you're doing great."
only alessia didn't feel great. she felt like her chest was too tight and the walls were too white and she might cry before anything even started.
the woman reached for the gel, giving alessia another friendly smile. "is dad joining us today? or just you?"
alessia froze for half a second, the words slamming into her chest like a punch. dad. the word burned. said dad didn’t even know she was here today, hadn’t asked about his baby. that alone was enough to make her stomach clench in a way that had nothing to do with the probe about to touch her.
instead harrison's voice rang in her head, sharp and final: 'i'm not ready for this, less. i can't do this.'
he had said it like it was that simple. like walking away was easy and the best option. like leaving alessia to pick up the pieces wasn't going to crush her.
her jaw tightened. alessia swallowed the lump rising in her throat and forced her voice to sound steady when she said, "just me."
the tech nodded like it was no big deal, completely unfazed. like she’d seen it a million times and probably had "no problem. plenty of mums come alone."
alessia nodded, but her chest still felt raw, scraped hollow. she hated how much that question hurt, hated how it made her feel like she'd failed her baby before she even started. like she was already doing this wrong.
"the gel might feel a little cold," the woman said gently, squeezing it onto alessia stomach.
alessia flinched as the chill hit her skin. "oh-yeah, that's... cold," she muttered, because what else was she supposed to say?
"sorry about that." the tech grinned as she adjusted the probe. "ready to see your baby?"
alessia hesitated, her gaze flicking to the blank monitor. ready? was she ever going to be ready? but she gave the smallest nod.
and then the probe pressed gently against her stomach, and she stared at the ceiling because she wasn't sure she was ready to see-
"there we are," the woman said softly.
alessia's eyes flicked to the monitor. a tiny flicker of movement. a blur. and then...
"do you hear that?" the room filled with a steady, rapid thump-thump-thump.
alessia's breath hitched.
"that's your baby," the tech said, her voice warm now, like she understood what this moment meant even if alessia couldn't quite put it into words. "it looks like everything's measuring right on track. i would say your around 8 weeks"
that sound. god. that was hers. her baby.
alessia's vision blurred, and she bit the inside of her cheek hard, like pain could hold her together. the woman glanced at her, soft smile still in place. "you okay?"
alessia nodded quickly, even though her throat was tight. "yeah. i... yeah."
she thought of harrison for the briefest second. how he'd sat on her bed two weeks ago, hands twisted in his lap, saying, 'im not ready to be a dad, it's too soon.' like the choice was his to make. like walking away wasn't going to leave her here, alone.
except...alessia wasn't really alone. not anymore. because that sound, that tiny heartbeat, was louder than the fear clawing at her ribs.
the tech printed out a few images and handed them over along with a few other info sheets with another warm smile. "here you go. take good care of yourself, okay?"
alessia took them carefully, like they might break. "thank you," she whispered, because it was the only word she could find.
...
alessia's dorm was quiet when she got back. she dropped her bag by the door and sank onto the couch, the ultrasound pictures still clutched in her hand. she stared at them until her eyes blurred again. a laugh, half a sob, slipped out.
the tiny little figure is mine. it's real.
alessia's phone buzzed on the cushion beside her.
lotte: 'we're coming over. no arguing!'
em: 'we have snacks. and ice cream. don't even try to say no.'
alessia huffed out a breath, somewhere between exasperation and relief. they always knew when to show up.
half an hour later, the door burst open without warning, and lotte's brunette head appeared first followed by emily balancing two grocery bags.
"less!" emily called out, kicking the door shut. "you're supposed to be resting, not ghosting us."
"i wasn't ghosting," alessia muttered, tugging her hoodie sleeves over her hands.
"you were," lotte said simply, dropping onto the couch beside her. she glanced at alessia, then frowned. "what's that?"
alessia froze, totally forgetting about the little pictures. the pictures which were half hidden under her leg. but it was too late, emily leaned over and plucked them up before alessia could stop her.
“less..” emily’s voice softened instantly as she looked between the photos and alessia, “you went today?”
alessia nodded, staring at the floor. "why didn’t you tell us," lotte said quietly. not angry. just...hurt, and slightly worried she didn’t want her friend to be taking on such a heavy load alone.
"i didn't want to make a big deal," alessia whispered. "you both have classes, training and your own problems"
"less." emily crouched down in front of her so she had no choice but to meet her eyes. "your literally growing a human being. it the biggest deal and plus this is our little niece or nephew"
alessia laughed weakly, but it cracked in the middle. "i just— i didn't want to be a problem."
lotte wrapped an arm around her shoulders without hesitation, pulling her in. "hey, your never a problem. ever. but you don't have to do this by yourself."
emily held up the picture, smiling through a wobble in her voice. "look at your little baby. that...that's insane."
alessia blinked hard, because if she started crying now, she wouldn't stop. “next time," lotte said firmly, squeezing alessia tighter, "we're coming with you. no arguments."
alessia managed a small nod. for the first time that day, the weight in her chest didn't feel quite so suffocating. because maybe, just maybe, she wasn't as alone as she thought.
who she runs to | alessia russo x child!reader x leah williamson
-> based on this request⚽️
grumpy masterlist
the late-afternoon sun painted the youth pitch in warm gold as little feet pounded across the grass. you, in your slightly-too-big kit with the number '19' taped onto the back, was a whirlwind of energy and cheeky grins.
on the sideline, alessia, leah, and a handful of the arsenal girls had formed an informal cheering squad, snacks and water bottles at the ready.
"go on, tiny girl!" beth hollered, cupping her hands around her mouth as they cheered for you as you ran down the pitch.
"she's got more control than you, less," katie teased, nudging alessia slightly as they rested against the barrier.
"hey, i taught her everything she knows," alessia shot back smugly, a few of the girls humming.
leah laughed. "you mean how to do a step-over and immediately trip?"
"still counts as some sort of flair."
lotte stood behind them, filming on her phone. "this better go viral. i can see it, 'tiny sends opposition to the shops.'"
you, who was clearly fueled by all the attention, zoomed toward goal and toe-poked it into the bottom corner. as the final whistle blew, you threw her arms in the air like you'd just won the world cup.
all eyes were on her, but one pair of eyes watched from a distance harrison, standing behind a few rows back, out of direct sight his arms crossed with a small smile of pride on his face. he hadn't made his presence known yet.
the kids scattered after the whistle, some toward their parents, others toward the post-match oranges. but you?
your eyes locked on your mama like a magnet. "MMAAMMA!" you shrieked, sprinting at full speed.
leah crouched instinctively, arms open. "c'mere, lil superstar!"
you launched yourself at your mama and leah caught you, lifting you high and spinning you. you screamed with laughter, clinging to her neck.
"i saw your goal! that finish, oh it was lovely!" leah said, grinning her entire body filled with pride.
"you think it was good?"
"better than mummy's at the euros."
"yes! but not the back heel though-" you beamed, soaking up the praise.
leah slung you over one shoulder piggyback-style, and you giggled, playing with the ends of leah's ponytail. "you're my horsey now."
"you got it, angel. princess pony service."
beth leaned in. "oi, tiny, what about the rest of us? don't we get post-match hugs? we helped with the cheering too!"
you peeked out from leah's shoulder. "maaaaybe. if you bring me ice cream." you grinned pointing at the ice cream van that was in the car park, people already queuing in the warm afternoon sun.
"blackmail," katie muttered, impressed.
meanwhile, harrison approached, the laughter and affection around leah and you making his chest tighten.
he cleared his throat as he reached alessia. "hey."
alessia turned, eyebrows lifting, slightly startled by his presence. she hadn't seen or heard from him in a solid two weeks. "didn't know you were coming."
"i wanted to see her play." he said, hands still placed in his pockets as he looked at alessia, he could tell she was surprised by him being there. her brain ticking on how to react.
"you could've told me."
"she's my daughter, les-alessia," he said sharply. "i shouldn't need permission."
"hey, no i didn't mean that. but a heads up would have been nice-" alessia quipped back quickly, not liking his sharp tone especially when you were in ears length from hearing the conversation.
that tone. it was so familiar, so condescending and it grated on alessia.
but harrison's eyes drifted to the pitch, to the child, his daughter who hadn't even noticed him. still wrapped around leah's back, giggling and smiling as leah jogged lightly with you on her back.
his fists clenched slightly. "this—this isn't right. she should be running to me, not leah. i should be the one carrying her, not..." he trailed off, shaking his head. his eyes still looking at the scene of you and leah.
"y/n's not a prize you get for showing up late," alessia replied, her voice tight, her focus on gathering your little boot bag, not really having the effort to listen to harrison and his antics as frankly to her, now, they were boring.
"i'm her dad."
"and what is leah?" alessia fired back, quickly as she stood up now facing him. "cause to lovie, le is the one who helps her tie her shoe laces before school, reads to her at night, and gets up when she has nightmares."
harrison scoffed. "you let her play parent. that's on you."
alessia stepped closer, patience running a little thin with his excuses and ignorance. "leah didn't ask for any of this. she chose it. when we got to together, she showed up, over and over again. i never asked her to, once. and y/n loves her for that. that isn't something 'i let happen'. it happened by itself and cause you weren't there."
behind them, katie and beth had fallen quiet, exchanging glances at each other as they watched with unreadable expressions.
harrison shook his head. "it's not fair."
"no," alessia snapped back , "it's not. it’s not fair that, that little girl has to navigate your ego every time she's happy."
at that moment, you turned from your perch on leah's back, having heard the change in tone and recognising who your mummy was talking to. "mummy?" you said, voice small. "why's daddy shouting at you?"
the group went still. your eyes found harrison and the joy drained from your face, the smile that was once there had dropped quicker than your goal had hit the back of the net.
"hey, my little girl," harrison said gently, forcing a smile. "come here, daddy has missed you."
instead, you slid off leah's back and stepped behind her legs, peeking around only slightly, you little head confused at how he could shout at your mummy then want you in his arms.
"c'mon, y/n. don't be shy."
"no," you whispered, hugging leah's leg. "i don't want you to be mean to mummy." leah's heart broke a little, as she glared at harrison.
"she's scared," beth said quietly, stepping forward now, arms folded. "you might want to think about that."
"y/n," harrison tried again, his voice now slightly cracking. "i'm not trying to be mean, i just.. i miss you, kiddo."
still, you didn't budge.
"she doesn't owe you affection on demand," katie said, bluntly as alessia exhaled, rubbing a hand down her face.
lotte stepped closer and offered leah a soft look who was trying coax you from behind her legs. "you okay?"
leah nodded, then crouched beside you. "hey angel, want to go sit with auntie beth and katie for a bit while mummy and i clean up?"
you shook your head, firmly. "wan stay with you."
harrison opened his mouth but closed it again. there was nothing left to say. harrison took a shaky breath admitting defeat, but alessia stopped him with a look.
"maybe you should go," she said quietly. "we can talk later. but not now."
he looked like he wanted to argue, but something in the way you clung to leah made him finally understand. he wasn't the one she ran to. he wasn't never going to be. and until he earned it, he wouldn't be.
he nodded stiffly, turned, and reluctantly walked away. and harrison, watching from the shadows of the car park, realised for the first time...
he wasn't just competing with leah. he was competing with consistency. with love. with presence. with time.
and right now, he was losing.
as soon as he was gone, beth knelt down and offered you her hand. "alright, superstar. i've got jelly worms and a capri sun with your name on it."
you perked up. "do i get both?"
"mhmm, i'm sure mummy won't mind since you played your socks off in that match."
you cheered as you ran over to the snack bench with beth, katie and lotte in tow, your little socked feet rushing across the grass which alessia was definitely going to regret letting you do when she had to find a way to get the grass stains out of them..
leah stood slowly, brushing the dirt from her knees. alessia stepped beside her, watching their daughter dance around with the girls.
"she's lucky," leah said softly as she wrapped an arm around alessia pulling the blonde close into her chest.
"she is, she has the best people around her" alessia's voice cracked on the last word, and leah reached out to intertwine their fingers, grounding them both as they rested against alessia's shoulder.
in front of them, your laughter and giggles bubbled up again. you had launched herself onto katie's back, demanding another piggyback.
"i'm switching sides!" you yelled. "katie my horse now!"
"hey!" leah called, pretending to be offended. "i'm retiring from horse duty, am i?"
"no, never!" you yelled turning your head around to face leah as you yelled from katie's back. "you're my unicorn!"
leah and alessia looked at each other, hearts full.
unicorn. mama. safe place. whatever the name, leah had become someone you ran to, again and again. and no one could take that bond away.
grumpy masterlist | for love and country masterlist
alessia and the rest of the lionesses had been spending the last few weeks on camp, preparing themselves for the busy summer ahead in switzerland. you had been there providing the stability for alessia while still causing your fair share of chaos as always but alessia wouldn't have changed it for the world, making memories with you and leah as well as the rest of the team.
however, it started with a closed-door meeting.
"alessia, can i borrow you for a second?"
sarina's tone was even, her hands tucked in the pockets of her training wear as she stood at the edge of the training pitch. but alessia caught the flicker of something beneath the calm and her stomach tightened. meetings like this never meant something small.
alessia followed the coach across the turf and into a quiet office, one which had been used many of times for tatical meetings with the other coaches. the blinds were drawn against the fading evening sun, casting the room in a sleepy orange hue. alessia barely had time to sit down before sarina started.
"i just wanted to tell you, before it was told to the rest, that there's been a change," the dutch women said, voice deliberate, like she'd rehearsed it. "regarding the base camp and tournament logistics."
alessia sat up straighter, confusion filling her as her mind filled, what did that have to do with her specifically. "what sort of change?"
there was a hesitation, brief but unmistakable. sarina folded her hands in front of her, voice gentling. "the fa has made a decision, that there is no families at camp this year. that includes children."
the words didn't quite register. alessia blinked. it kinda felt as though she was just being played with because there was no way.. surely not.
"no... families?" alessia echoed. "as in, none? not even for a day?"
sarina's nod was slow. "they want a more focused, professional atmosphere. of course, family will still be permitted to visit but not to stay. its a shift in policy from past tournaments, i know but i wasn't consulted before the decision was final."
alessia sat back in her chair, her mind immediately racing, this was not the news she wanted to be told only a few days away from the tournament starting. "b-but lovie always come with me," she said, the words sharp, defensive. "she's always been part of this. she was there in australia. and at the nations league. she has never stayed behind."
"i know," sarina said, visibly softening now. "i pushed back, i tired alessia, especially knowing your situation. but they've drawn a hard line this time. i wanted to tell you privately before the rest of the team was informed."
alessia's fists tightened in her lap. "she's five, sarina. she doesn't care about a policy. all she is going to see is that her mum's leaving,, again."
"i understand, i do" sarina said quietly, her own motherly instincts coming somewhat into play as her professional ones fell a little. "she'll still be welcome after matches. the team hotel. public events. but she can't stay at the training base itself."
it felt like someone had kicked alessia in the chest. alessia stared at the carpet, trying to blink away the sting that were quickly approaching behind her eyes.
"she'd even packed her little suitcase last night," alessia frowned as she spoke, almost to herself with how quiet it was. "with her favourite england top and her little pink crocs. she's been so excited."
sarina said nothing for a moment and that silence spoke louder than any apology.
after the meeting alessia didn't really know what to do, what to say, how to tell you knowing it was going to break your little heart either way and alessia didn't know if and when she'd be prepared to do that.
you had been having a quiet dinner with leah and a couple of the other girls before alessia would take you up to bed, tucking you in with a kiss to the head as you whispered about what you were most excited about to see in switzerland which alessia could only respond to with a sad smile, before whispering, "goodnight lovie, mummy loves you so much" as she did every night.
as alessia retreated back down to the players lounge, leah was sat in the far corner legs stretched out across the couch as the other girls like beth and ella were immersed in a board game.
alessia didn't say anything at first, she just stood there, arms crossed tight over her chest, as her fingers fiddled with the drawstrings of her hoodie. a telltale sign that something was on the blonde's mind
leah looked up and saw alessia. one glance was all it took. something was wrong "hey," leah said gently. "what happened?"
alessia didn't move. "they're not letting her stay," she said eventually, voice low and cracked.
leah straightened, her brow furrowing as her phone fell down the side of the couch. "who? what do you mean?"
"lovie, no kids at camp. some stupid new rule the fa have decided to put in." alessia's voice was clipped, each word a stab. a knowing sign of how upset and annoyed alessia was with the situation "even sarina didn't know it was coming. she said she tried. but it's already done."
leah's face softened instantly. she didn't ask follow-up questions, didn't try to rationalise it. she just crossed the space between them and pulled alessia into her arms without hesitation. alessia didn't resist. alessia folded into the warmth of leah's chest like she belonged there, and she did.
"le, s-she's been talking about coming since the day i made the squad," alessia whispered into her shoulder. "she thinks she's part of the team."
"she is part of the team," leah murmured, placing a comforting kiss to alessia's temple as she dragged her hand up and down alessia's back.
"you saw, she had her unicorn suitcase packed. drew a little calendar with match days with ella. she thinks she's coming."
leah tightened her hold, swaying just slightly as if they could rock the grief away. "just be honest with her, she'll understand in time. just take your time."
"she's gonna ask tomorrow. she always asks. 'mummy, how many sleeps 'til we leave?'" alessia's voice caught. "i don't know how to look at her and explain why she's not allowed anymore. why she's has to stay with my parents."
leah pulled away just far enough to cup Alessia's cheek, brushing a tear away with her thumb. "y/n won't understand all of it. but she'll understand that you love her. that you're not choosing football over her, you never have. this is out of your hands."
"i feel like i'm failing her before i've even gone," alessia said, her voice barely more than a breath.
"no, you're not," leah said firmly. "you're doing everything you can. and you'll call her every night. she'll still see you after games. and she'll be waiting for you when you come home with that medal."
alessia didn't respond. she just leaned forward and rested her forehead against leah's, letting the silence say what she couldn't.
she felt leah's hand curl at the back of her neck, grounding her as leah placed another kiss to her shoulder this time. "you're a brilliant mum, less," leah whispered. "even now."
⸻
telling you was never going to be easy for alessia. she’d practised the words, the entire night after sarina had told her the new while staring at the ceiling trying to sleep at least a hundred times, but nothing could prepare her for the look on your face when she finally said, “you can’t come to switzerland with me, bub.”
the confusion in your eyes cut deeper than she expected wide, blinking, as if trying to piece together what it meant. you didn’t understand what had changed. what you’d done wrong. why you couldn’t go with your mummy. why, instead, you had to go with your grandparents.
around you, the family room at st george’s park buzzed with the usual chaos of departure day. england shirts everywhere, family members hugging tightly, voices rising over one another in excitement. where were balloons tied to chairs, banners crumpling in toddlers’ hands, laughter bursting in intervals, punctuated by the occasional squeal.
outside, the england team bus gleamed in the midday sun, parked along the curb with its doors open waiting patiently to swallow up the players and carry them to the airport. fans lined the entrance of the hotel with proud smiles and fluttering flags, cheering already, unaware of the quiet heartbreak unfolding just inside.
and still, you looked at your mummy, waiting for a reason that would make any of it make sense.
alessia wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out. and normally, alessia would thrive on this energy. she loved seeing her teammates with their families, loved the way ella and lucy are practically juggling their nieces and nephews, loved the chaos before the calm of the tournament bubble.
and normally, you would be right in the middle of it all. chasing after leah's younger cousins, tugging at keira's sleeve and proudly telling anyone who would listen that your mummy was going to win a trophy.
but today, alessia couldn't shake the hollow feeling gnawing at her chest. because today, you weren't your usual bubbly self.
you were perched on alessia's hip, face tucked into her shoulder, esme the elephant dangling from your little fist. your curls are starting to frizz in the humid summer air, but you didn’t care, you weren’t begging for a hair clip or for leah to 'make it pretty' like she usually would.
your arms were wrapped tightly around your mummy, like you were afraid to let go, and every so often alessia could feel her your small fingers twist into the fabric of her england tracksuit.
alessia shifts your weight, rocking you gently. "hey, lovie. what's going on in that busy brain of yours, hmm?"
you shrugged against her shoulder, giving the smallest shake of your head. no words, no usual cheeky grin, not even a whine. just silence.
alessia kisses your temple, murmuring softly, "you're awfully quiet today. don't tell me you've run out of mischief, your aunties won't believe it."
that earns your mum a tiny hum of protest, but you didn't lift your head. alessia glances around and spots grace, who's crouched by the benches, coaxing another player's nieces and nephews into a game of tag.
usually, that would be enough to lure you in. anything competitive, anything that promised giggles and chaos.
"wanna go play with grace? she's trying to catch the speedy ones. but you could easily outrun her." alessia tries to keep her tone upbeat, playful, but you only shake your head.
"no."
it's so soft alessia almost misses it. she feels a prick of unease and glances up at leah, who's standing a few feet away speaking quietly with her own mum. leah meets alessia's eyes instantly, reading the tension in her expression, and excuses herself to come closer.
"still not talkin' much?" leah murmurs, resting a hand gently on alessia's back.
alessia shakes her head, her jaw tightening. "she hasn't really been herself since yesterday. it's... i think it's hitting her now, y'know? that she can't come this time." alessia's voice drops, rough around the edges. "i thought telling her she'd be with my parents would make it easier, but... i don't think she understands why i can't just bring her.”
leah's hand rubs gentle circles along her spine. "she's only five, less. she doesn't understand because to her, you're... everything. and she's not used to goodbye being more than a just a couple of hours." leah offers a faint, reassuring smile. "she'll be okay. she's brave. and so are you."
alessia doesn't answer right away. her throat feels tight, and it only worsens when she feels you stir slightly in her arms. you finally lifts her head, eyes big and glistening, lips wobbling like your not sure whether your allowed to cry.
"mummy?" your voice is tiny. "w-why... why can't i come with you? i always come."
alessia crouches down so you both are eye-level, shifting you to stand on your own feet. your small fingers immediately twist into the hem of your tracksuit jacket, knuckles white.
"oh, my girl..." alessia tucks a curl behind your ear. "it's not because i don't want you there. i'd take you with me everywhere if i could. but this time, the important people in charge have rules, and i've tried everything i could to try and not separate us, but they wouldn't listen. it's not fair, i know."
your brow furrows, trying to process it. "but... i-i can be quiet," you whispers. "i won't make mess. i can sleep lots."
the tears alessia been holding back threaten to spill. she scoops you back into her arms, hugging you close. "it's not about you being good or bad, lovie. your the bestest of the best. but rules are rules this time. and i promise, i'll call you every day until i see you in switzerland. morning and bedtime and every spare time i have. pinky promise."
you pull back just enough to extend your tiny pinky. alessia hooking it gently, pressing a kiss to your hand.
the two of you sit there for a moment, wrapped up in your own little world while the chatter and laughter carry on around them.
then, without a word, you wriggle down to your backpack and fish out the infamous esme the elephant. your faded, well-loved toy with one ear slightly more floppy than the other. you pressed it into your mummy's hands.
"here," you say quietly.
alessia blinks. "lovie, esme sleeps with you every night. i can't take her from you."
"es... esme can cuddle you," you mumble, staring at your shoes. "so you not sad. when i not there."
and that was it. that was the moment alessia's heart finally cracks.
alessia pulls you back into her arms, clutching you tightly as her voice breaks, "thank you, lovie. i'll take such good care of her. and i'll bring her home safe."
"hey, angel," leah's voice comes softly, breaking through the bubble. she crouches beside them, offering you a gentle smile. "your gonna look after your nonna and nonno for us, yeah? keep them in check, and your uncle luca."
you peeked at your mama, sniffling a little but give the smallest of nods as you stayed tight to your mummy's chest, "you look after mummy?"
"i'll look after mummy for you," leah said, brushing a strand of hair from your cheek, a sad smile on the england captains lips. "promise."
you sniffled again, a frown still plastered on your lips. "you pinky promise?"
leah smiled, holding out her hand. "of course."
you sniffle and give the smallest of nods, somewhat satified with your mama's answer. "okay. but... tell mummy come home quick."
leah's eyes soften. "i will. and we'll send you pictures, even the silly ones, to make you laugh. and we want some of you and your cute face." she leans in, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "deal?"
for the first time all morning, you lets out a tiny giggle, muffled against alessia's shoulder.
but when the call comes for players to board the bus, the air shifts again. alessia has to gently pry your fingers from her sleeve, one by one, each movement heavier than the last. alessia kneels down one final time, esme clutched against her chest.
"be good for nonna and nonno, okay?" alessia whispers, kissing your forehead. "i love you to the moon,"
"..and stars and back again" you whisper back, finishing your mummy's words, your voice breaking as you turned to leah, bundling yourself into leah's legs as your arms wrap around them, "love you, mama."
leah smiling wide as she picks you up, giving you one last hug and kiss on the cheek before handing you over to alessia's parents, "love you more angel."
grumpy masterlist | for love and country masterlist
the day you landed in switzerland, the day of the first group game against france. it was sunny. not too warm, just enough of a breeze to rustle your curls as you climbed out of the car, your arms flailing with excitement.
you had your little cap on backwards, courtesy of your uncle luca and a brand new sticker book clutched in your hand. carol was carrying your matching pink suitcase as she waved away your demands to roll it yourself.
the plan was simple, set up at the rental, rest a little, get ready to see the game and your mummy after the upcoming group game.
but you had other ideas.
"can i talk to mummy." you asked your nonno, holding up your ipad knowing there was special way to call, it having to be done by an adult as your mummy had put restrictions on it months ago after you were calling your auntie ella at five in the morning.
mario didn't even try to argue, one button press later and the call was ringing.
alessia answered from her room at base camp, hair tied up in a bun, headphones half on and posture already softening the second she saw your little face.
"lovie!"
"mummy!" you squealed, the camera jostling wildly as you tried to get a better angle, "i here! 'm in switza-land!"
alessia gushed, a big smile on her face as she looked at your excited little face, "you made it! you look so grown up since mummy last saw you."
"i dis big now" you said proudly, holding your hands up to show your height. "and i didn't sleep on the plane, nonno says i'm a jet lag princess!"
"oh dear," alessia grinned, amused by your excitement and just hearing your voice, "are you going to crash soon?"
"nooo, i had two apple juices and two 'nacks. i'm bouncy!"
alessia chuckled, moving slightly on her bed so she can prop her phone up. "you sure are."
you looked offscreen for a second, then leaned in close, whispering loudly, "mummy?"
"yeah, lovie?"
"where mama?" you asked, your hands now resting on your chin as you waited for alessia to answer.
alessia blinked. "right now?"
you nodded, "i want to say hi."
"she's not in the room, baby. she's downstairs, i think.. getting her treatment." alessia smiled, shuffling a little knowing the next thing you were going to ask.
"can you go see her?"
alessia paused, she knew is was going to be the next thing you said before she then exhaled a soft laugh. "you're really the boss of me, huh?"
you gave a big toothy grin your hands still resting on your chin. "pleasee? i miss her."
that pulled at alessia's heart in a whole new way. "alright, alright. hold on. you better not hang up on me." alessia moved from the comfort of her bed, putting on her slides and tempering her keycard as she slipped it into her sock.
"i won't! i staying right here."
with a chuckle, alessia slipped out of her room, phone in hand, walking along the long hallways and down the short flight of stairs to the physio suite passing maya and beth in the corridor most likely coming back from one of maya's pregame walks.
"who's got you rushing about?" beth teased, as alessia approached them.
"my daughter," alessia said slightly breathless, you shouting a 'hello' from the phone to both beth and maya. "she wants to see le."
the two yelling a hello back to you as maya smirked. "that checks out."
alessia found leah a moment later, lying on the treatment bed her calfs slicked with oil - clearly in the middle of a massage. eyes glued to her phone as she let the therapist do their work.
"le!" she called, walking into the room, leah's head slowly lifting from her phone a shy smile appearing on her face when she saw alessia, "emergency facetime."
leah's brow furrowed, until she saw your little face on the screen, face being held up by your hands as you had a small smile on your lips.
leah then smiled wide, "oh thank god, i thought sarina was calling me back for more tatic sheets." she said as she took the phone from alessia, pressing it close.
"hey my angel, did you have a good flight." leah asked
"hi mama," you said sweetly as you nodded, making some of the team and other girl in the room awe at your cute voice.
"i got my own big bed and a hotel key! mummy says it only for big people but nonna says i'm allowed cause im r-r-repon-ible" you told your mama, as she giggled slightly at your mispronunciation of the word 'responsible'
"is that so, have you grown that much since me and mummy seen you?" leah asked as she watched you flay your arms around as you spoke, carol and mario popping in the frame every so often in the background.
"yup," you nodded proudly. "can i see you and mummy tomorrow?" you asked, your voice a little quieter as your arms stopped moving around with your words.
leah looked up at alessia, who was talking to one of the coaches, as she looked over smiling softly but with sadness still flickering behind her eyes.
"course, we'll see after the game, yeah?" leah said gently, not wanting to overstep or tell you anything different to what alessia had said. "you'll definitely get cuddles."
"mama, we still goin' to the zoo the day after?" you asked, remembering your mummy telling you about it, how your face lit up at the thought of seeing real life elephants. it being one of the only thing you were looking forward to on the trip.
"course, we can see some lions, the giraffes, maybe some monkeys and.." leah listed off as your grin got bigger with excitement.
"elefants!" you cheered, interrupting leah as she nodded fondly, "esme really looking forward to see them, can we see them first, please mama" you hurried out excitedly.
"course we can, mummy has been taking extra special care of her for you," leah smiled as you nodded, a sad wave of a smile appearing on your face but you remembered esme had promised to keep mummy happy for you.
"okay." you yawned suddenly, stretching on the hotel bed like a cat. "'m not tired though."
"you look tired, bub."
"i not!" your voice cracked with the lie.
leah winked, moving the phone to her other hand, knowing you were seconds from falling asleep. "alright, miss wide awake. i'll see you soon. you be good for nonna and nonno, okay?"
"i'm always good." you sleepily said, as alessia came back into the frame of the camera.
alessia snorted a little. "that's a half fib and you know it."
"medium good," you corrected yourself, as your head lay on the soft bed, your mummy insisting it was time for your pj's and bed.
"good night lovie, mummy and mama love you, so much" alessia said as she kissed at the screen. you blowing them back sleepily as alessia caught them holding it close to her chest.
the call ended, finally, with three loud kisses and a million mumbled 'good nights' leah handing alessia's phone back to her with a small shake of her head. "she runs this whole operation," leah murmured.
alessia nodded, not even attempting to disagree. "she really does."
and despite the ache, the fact alessia couldn't pull you into her arms right now or tuck you into bed. the facetime left her and leah feeling a little fuller. a little braver.
...
the game against france had left a dull ache in alessia's chest. not just from the loss but from the few fleeting second that she saw you for after the final whistle. you had been curled up in carol's arms in the stands just behind the dugout, eyes heavy with sleep, the sky long gone dark.
alessia had jogged over just to kiss your forehead. you barely even stirring, murmuring something about 'goals and glitter boots' before her mum whispered, "she didn't make it past halftime less,"
but tonight was different.
the lionesses had come out with fire against the dutch, and alessia had played her heart out. no goals but three assists, each one carefully threaded like she was stitching something sacred back together. alessia had energy, control, composure.
as the cheers were still echoing through the crisp swiss night as england file off the pitch, the echoes of sweet caroline lingering faintly beyond the floodlit stadium.
a 4–0 win over the dutch. with three assists for alessia. her name was the one the media team had at the top, the player of the match trophy was hers, her performance one the commentators will gush about for days. the sort of night any player dreams of.
but alessia didn't feel it. not properly.
not when her chest feels hollow, when she knows you are waiting just beyond the tunnel, probably fighting to keep your eyes open despite the late hour.
alessia barely registers the usual post-match noise. the microphones shoved under her chin. the flash of cameras. the reporter's voice feels far away as alessia mutters through the mandatory questions like she's already practiced them in her bedroom beforehand, nodding at words she doesn't quite hear.
leah as always lingers close, a steady presence, occasionally brushing alessia's arm in quiet reassurance. alessia can't stop the restless bounce in her knee, the impatient shift of her weight, her eyes darting toward the mouth of the tunnel every other second.
by the time she's free of the cameras, she's practically jogging. her boots click against the concrete, the din of the stadium softening into the low hum of the concourse. leah keeps pace beside her, silent but watchful, her hand brushing against alessia's as if to ground her.
the family section is alive with the usual chaos. lucy is crouched, letting her niece stick a glittery lionesses stickers to her forehead while pulling exaggerated faces.
ella, ever the joker, is in fits of laughter as she tells one of her jokes to her boyfriend, joe, making joe double over in laughter. the scene is warm, familiar but alessia doesn't stop.
because then she sees you.
you are standing beside your nonna, curls a little messy, the tiniest england flag clutched in your hand. your socks don't quite match, one slouching around your ankle.
your wearing the oversized england hoodie alessia bought you last month. the one you calls her 'lucky one' because you wore it when your mummy scored against spain in the nations league.
the moment your wide eyes spot alessia, your whole face lights up like a lantern. relief. recognition. love. and then, just as quickly, it crumples.
"mummy!" the cry cracks in the middle, a tiny sound swallowed by the cavernous space.
you sprint, your trainers slapping against the concrete. alessia barely has time to crouch before you barrel into her, flinging your arms around your mummy's neck so hard alessia nearly tips backward. alessia catches you, holding you as if the ground might open beneath the two of you.
"i've missed you, lovie," alessia whispers, tucking her nose into your curls, breathing in the faint scent of strawberry shampoo and her mum's laundry detergent.
usually, that earns a squeal or a breathless, 'did you see me on the telly, mummy?' or you would usually wriggle to show off your face paint you'd had done before the game or demand alessia carry you all the way to the car like a koala as you bargain your way to a later bedtime so you can spend time with your mummy and mama.
but not tonight.
tonight, you just cling tighter, your small body trembling. when alessia pulls back a little to check your face, she sees your bottom lip quivering.
and then the tears come.
"i don't want you to go," you sobs, your words breaking as your little shoulders shake, your voice hiccupping as you cling tighter.
alessia's heart feels like it's being squeezed in a vice. she hugs you tighter, swaying instinctively, rubbing gentle circles into your back. "hey, hey... it's okay, lovie. i've got you. i promise i've got you."
but the words don't seem to touch you. your fists curl tighter into alessia's kit, the fabric wrinkling in your tiny hands as you press your face into your mummy's shoulder, sobbing softly but with a rawness that slices through alessia's chest.
leah crouches beside them, her voice soft, a careful calmness to it. "hey, angel. you know nonna's making pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, right? then by the time breakfast is finished, we'll be going to the zoo, you told me on facetime how excited esme was to see the other elephants."
you doesn't even look up. "don't... want pancakes or zoo. want mummy. m-mummy stay."
the last two words crack, like they're too heavy for your small mouth.
alessia swallows hard, blinking back the sting behind her eyes. she can feel the conflict tearing her apart: her head knows she can't break fa rules, can't skip curfew or haul her daughter into camp.
but her heart? her heart is screaming at her to just take you in her arms, bundle you into the hotel and the rules be damned.
ella swoops in having seen the scene pan out just beside her and her boyfriend, joe. and having heard from alessia how you weren't really yourself since the tournament had started.
ella crouching low so she was eye level with you, her grin bright but gentle. "tiny, if you come with me, i'll teach you how to steal grace's boots tomorrow. she hates it. make her do warm-ups tomorrow in her socks."
grace, looming behind her, crosses her arms with mock severity. "oi, don't drag me into your schemes. tiny, tell your auntie ella she's trouble."
usually, that would earn a shy giggle, maybe even a cheeky remark as you would agree just to wind them both up. tonight, you doesn't even blink at them, your sobs quieting into shaky breaths as you burrow further into alessia's neck.
alex edges closer, her presence offering something calmer, something softer. "less... want me to grab her some water? might help her calm down a bit."
as alex slips away, keira, quieter than the rest, leans in and murmurs to alessia, "we'll cover for you, less if you want a bit longer. sarina can wait. nobody is rushing you."
alessia nods, her throat too tight to speak, her hand running up and down your back in slow, steady motions. her teammates linger nearby, some trying to coax a smile, others simply existing as a quiet circle of support.
even beth, who usually is the first to crack a joke, just rests a gentle hand on alessia's back, murmuring, "she'll settle, less. she's just tired."
it takes just over half an hour, water that alex fetched, your nonno's coaxing promises of pancake flipping, and leah softly offering to read esme the elephant later. before you finally, reluctantly, let carol scoop you into her arms.
even then, your small hands stretch toward alessia, fingers splayed, reaching, reaching... until the car door closes. silent tears slip down your cheeks, your big eyes fixed on your mummy through the window as the taillights fade into the night.
the moment her parents and you are gone, alessia's composure shatters. the ache in her chest crashes over her in a wave so strong her knees nearly buckle. she presses her palms to her eyes, trying to hold herself together, but her breath catches, trembling.
leah steps in instantly, no words, just wrapping her arms around alessia and tucking her against her chest.
"she thinks i don't want her," alessia chokes out, her voice cracking. "she doesn't understand. and my head's telling me i need to be here, i need to focus... but my heart's telling me to just take her. forget the rules. just... take her and so she can be with me, be with us."
leah holds her tighter, resting her chin on top of alessia's damp hair as she places gentle kisses to the top of her head. "i know. i know, less. but we'll get through it. you're not alone. not in this."
around them, the other lionesses begin to drift away, beth giving alessia's back one last comforting pat, as ella mouths "we'll sort something tomorrow" as she walks off with keira.
only leah stays, the team giving the two a bit of space, as leah lets alessia cry into her shoulder, her thumb stroking soothing circles at the base of her spine, peppering small kisses to her head and she whispered it was all going to be okay.
when alessia finally pulls back, she fumbles into her backpack and finds the small, worn plush toy, esme the elephant, the one you never slept without. alessia clutches it tightly to her chest, her eyes still wet.
but the image of your outstretched hands, fingers splayed reaching for her as the car pulled away lingers, sharp and unrelenting like a wound that wouldn't close.
