oh my fucking god have you heard about tomatoes? because i just heard about tomatoes and i'm fucking disgusted. get this: they're not vegetables. is that not APPALLING???? i feel sick just thinking about it. and you know what they are? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE????? THEY'RE FRUITS. FRUITS. they are goddamn savory, not sweet. you can’t have a savory fruit, it goes against the system!!!! THE SYSTEM!!!!!! tomatoes are to vegetables as pluto is to planets: it absolutely should be one. it should! it meets almost all the criteria, but just barely fell short, and it is so disappointing. my heart sank at the news. it feels like my only child has dropped out of harvard to become an unpaid dj. a dj. i’m horrified. scandalized. i’ll never recover. this is the end.