#guy friends.

[inthequietdark-blog]

There aren't even words

...to explain how I'm feeling.

To tell you how much I miss you, and it's only been three days.

To let you know, just how hurt I am.

There aren't even words to ask for help.

It hurts, just...so much, so bad, for so long.

You're going to miss me when you're gone.

Right?

[inthequietdark-blog]

When Did It Get Like This?

The words escaping your lips resonate in my mind. 

They are no longer sweet, but bored.

Tired words fill my ears, and never surprise me. 

I miss summertime. 

Not only for the warm nights, explosions of color in the air, or the sound of the loons making their way across the lake; but also for reasons of you.

We aren't who we once were, and that's okay. Sort of.

But it hurts...that you're not the same boy who came back to hold me after I  apologized for something that wasn't my fault.

And I'm not the same girl who sat next to you simply to talk about nothing, but loving every second. 

Maybe this is at the center of my broken heart. 

The missing words along the way, and those loving moments which are few and far between after the school year has gotten us both under its wraps.

I think that it'll go back to normal once you come back for the fall. But then it hits me like icy water. You aren't coming back. There are no second chances left over. 

I love you.

[inthequietdark-blog]

And What Hurts the Most, is Being So Close...

Why?

Because I love you.

How come?

Because you've given this part of yourself to me...that I can never give back.

When did that happen?

Every second we spent talking. Holding on so tight without even touching.

I remember now.

I knew you would.

[inthequietdark-blog]

The army guys on my dashboard,

And the words that spill from your lips;

as you hold me close.

Letting me know that it's okay. 

That's what best friends are for. 

And you are. 

You are the best guy friend (here on earth) that a girl could ask for.

Thanks for putting up with my insanity, anger issues, Christian ramblings, and my love for people. You're FABULOUS <3

[inthequietdark-blog]

And then it went back...

Because I thought it could be good with you again.

But I was wrong. 

Miss you.

Love you.

And just so you know, I love it when you remind me that you love me. Because it's nice to be called fabulous. It really is. <3

[inthequietdark-blog]

Nothing can fix the pain left from this nostalgia.

Wasn't it just yesterday? Yesterday was the day, I would have sworn. It just hurts too much to even explain. The voices in my head are saying, "What the hell did you do?!" I can only respond with, "He loves her more. That's okay. It has to be okay." Today has been shit, and it's all his fault. That's a lie. It's all my fault. All my fault. My fault. 

[inthequietdark-blog]

It's okay...

if you don't like a single status anymore.

That you act like it bothers you when I text differently.

It really is. It hurts like hell, but I'll get through this. 

I think I'm missing the lesson again. Maybe I should take my heart off of my sleeve...