Hayley Williams sang for another hour. Not even once was he able to wiggle his way into her thoughts. She was pleased with that.
The crowd was sad to all the glory coming to its inevitability. In the same way, she was sad to see them go. They were her distraction as much as she and the rest of Paramore were thiers. Her solution was rather temporary, but it was adequate for the time being. However, now she faced the possibility of never seeing him again.
She had missed her chance at redemption. And she began to pity herself.
How embarrassing. The Hayley Williams descending into the shameful depths of self pity. Long ago, she had entrusted herself to avoid falling into those depths, having reached it before. The first was when she was 20 years old. Although she had found a way to release those caged emotions through Paramore's third album. The second time was the worst; it was only one year after. Two members of their band had left, however it wasn't that. One of them; Joshua Farro had to leave a message that attributed her as a fame hungry, hypocritical Christian. Following their nasty departure, the remaining three members were in turmoil. The band faced a lot of criticism. She had to suffer most of it. She partly blamed herself for it. Pitying herself was how she spent the next few days.
As per usual she and her fellow band-mates took their bow. She found it difficult to maintain a smile. The Man had already crept into her conscious. She knew that he was and always will be dead to the world. It hurt her more than she ever would admit. But he was never dead to her. But she knew that the time was coming.
She felt sick. Inside that pretty head of hers, she was drowning in guilt. She felt her chest begin to lightly ache.
She wanted to do something; anything. Smash the drums, jump off the stage, run into a wall, any excuse to sidetrack the angst. But that would never do any good. Then her eyes began to flutter from wetness.
She grabbed her leather jacket and they began to head backstage.
"Well that went well." She heard the bassist, Jeremy start. "Don't you think?" he went to ask her.
She snapped out of her thoughts and began wiping her eyes. "Mhm" she replied rather curtly.
He noticed the eye rubbing. "Got something there?"
She being oblivious to what Jeremy was saying gave a confused "Hm?" as a response.
"Do you have something in your eyes?"
"Oh it's nothing" she said nonchalantly, giving her eyes one last rub. "Must have been an eyelash" she added.
"Oh you mean one of those fake eyelashes you scared us with?"
He was referring to their last online chat with their fans when she had worn the said fake set of eyelashes. At one point they fell out of place making her seemingly a grotesque creature at first glance. Their guitarist; Taylor got a nice jump scare from that.
"No it was a real one this time" she lightly smiled into her answer.
"I can't ever know with you" he teased.
He chuckled "You look tired."
"So am I. But I was having fun so it's worth it."
She wished that she could say her entire night was fun.
"Yeah I was having fun too." She lied.
She recalled their arrival in Fairfax. She had a dream the night before. It reminded her of the boy she left behind. She rediscovered all her emotions for the said boy. They were latent for years, But evoked they were, now.
The boy would have eventually phased into a man. However, she still reviewed him as a boy; the boy. And she was no longer the woman she is, softening into a mere girl; the girl she phased out of. She craved for more. Smoldering desire overcame her soul. She dearly longed to see him.
But the desire she had was annulled with dread. Redemption was seemingly lacking for the beloved redhead.
But all hope was not lost.
Something clicked in her memory.
A beacon of light in her despair.
"Hayley did you hear me?" She heard Jeremy's voice say.
She realized that she had been comatose to reality for a while.
"Oh no sorry could you say that again?" She said in the most polite way she could.
"What do you want to watch tonight?" He asked.
A few seconds passed with her trying to decide on a movie. Although she never cared one bit on what it should be. She had found her hope. And she knew that she wouldn't even be around if God willing, her hope is put in the correct place.
She was astonished that she didn't think of it before.
She couldn't nail down the reason why she had it but the better part of her was certain that she did.
Seemingly inconsequential but, really now it was her most invaluable treasure. It was what she needed to strike focus.
"I can't think of anything." She said after those seconds of thought. "You decide." She added.
"Well we'll see when we get there." He uttered. Then he spent a few seconds studying her. "What were you thinking about earlier?" He asked.
She was taken aback by his curiosity. She didn't want Jeremy to poke his nose in this matter. The less explanations she had to do, the easier for her.
But she had to dispel his curiosity. She couldn't falter in her words and neither could she spend long pondering her answer.
"Oh it's nothing important" she said doing her best not to seem surprised, hoping that her attempt was enough to wave him off.
"Oh? Alright then." He trailed off seemingly satisfied, which avoided her distress. What she didn't know was that he knew that her words were lies. Fortunately for her, he decided not to act on his conviction. Everyone had their personal secrets. He understood that and wasn't keen to pry.
Hayley was oblivious to Jeremy's resolve and was knee deep in her agenda. Her first priority was to get her hands on her phone which was in their dressing room. Their dressing room was located on the left side of the pale corridor which takes a sharp curve to the right before their door labeled "Paramore". At the pace she was going it would take her about another minute to get to that door.
She wanted to rush past their crew ahead of her; their drummer Aaron Gillespie, their main guitarist Taylor and the other two guitarists Jon Howard and Justin York. But she had to contain herself lest she focus attention on herself, she preferred not to. Exasperated (But she didn't show it) she didn't break her pace and kept close to Jeremy.
She tried to follow the idle conversation between the two brothers Taylor and Justin but her mind was too preoccupied by her quest. As they idled through the corridor they were greeted by their backstage crew with hearty smiles that she had to force herself to return (Don't look up just let them think there's no place else you'd rather be) and receive the obligatory felicitations for their performance. She was internally disgruntled to face the said interactions, she could do better off without them tonight.
At long last they had arrived at their dressing room. She could see it; her bag. In it was her phone. The key to her agenda. It excited her. However she contained herself and went along with the rest of group outwardly absentminded as she detached herself from them and walked to her bag.
She hoped that no one would think twice about her actions. Of course she is being paranoid but can you blame her? She had to reach her goal without any fuckups. The more risks (If you would call that a risk) she had to take, the more it burdened her paranoia.
She found her phone after rummaging through the bag's contents. She wasted no time in getting to her contacts list, praying that she would find his name in it; that all this hope wasn't for nothing. Fortune smiled upon the precious red-head on this occasion. It aided her agenda and doused her worries to find his contact.
She needed him to have kept his contact number unchanged unless it was back to the drawing board for her whole agenda. Poor Hayley if that were to happen.
She had no clue about how much of a chance she had. For her little knowledge he had no reason to change his number.
She never kept in touch or bothered her precious head with the details of his life. Now that she did bother about it, her chances became slimmer seemingly. But she decided to follow her plan anyway. There was nothing for her to lose.
After those seconds of thinking, she began typing a text message to him since calling him or leaving a voice message wouldn't do for some unapparent (Or is it?) reason. She began pondering on what to say.
"Hey it's me Hayley dear god i miss you so much i want to talk to you so badly can we meet? Please say yes there are a lot of things i have to let you know"
As much as how it would give a glimpse into what she was actually feeling, she preferred not to sound desperate. Gathering her focus, she let her delicate fingers leave a message on his phone.
"Hey it's me Hayley. I'm in Fairfax now... I'd like to see you, can we meet?
Sure, it didn't explain all the emotions she felt (Maybe that was a good thing), but it was good enough to the trick. Just after she sent the text, she realized that it was late, he could be asleep.
She wondered if he'd reply in an instant. As if he had nothing important to do. As if he was waiting for a message from her. Oh that would be peachy.
Not to the unlikely, she didn't get a response even after two minutes.
She contemplated if she could be able to get in a quick shower before she gets a response. Well she surely wasn't going to face him being the sweat bag that she was now. She could get the shower done in five minutes, reaching their tour bus to do that would take no more than 3 minutes. She contemplated if she had that much time in her hands. Without pondering she took her bag began heading to the backstage exit.
One thing before she goes
"Hey guys I'm gonna go take a shower first alright?" She voiced to the band members.
"Yeah, okay. We won't start heading out just yet." Taylor replied.
"Thanks guys." She said with a tight smile as she headed off the doorway and into the corridor. She followed it until she came to a large open area where they kept some of the stage items along with some crates in which she didn't know what was stored, nor did she care at the time. Needless to say, she was on a rush. Thankfully, she recalled how to get to their tour bus from here. She kept heading forward and avoided talk with the backstage crew. Before she knew it she was at the backstage exit. She could see the Paramore tour bus from where she was and she hurried to it.
Arriving at the bus, she rummaged through her bag for her keys. Once finding it, she unlocked the bus door and locked it again after stepping inside. Now don't worry, each of the band members had a key so they wouldn't be locked out of the bus until Hayley decides to unlock it.
She plopped her bag on the couch and wasted no time grabbing her towel, fresh clothes and shampoo. Before stepping into the bathroom she checked her phone for a text from him.
She dropped her phone in her bag and stepped into the bathroom. After stripping off her sweaty clothes; her sparkly, brass toned shorts and her sleeveless, plain black top and her underclothes, she turned on the water and let her exhaustion wash away. Thank the good Lord that she had not worn her tight leather pants or her sleeveless white top patterned with thick zigzagging black stripes with a large eye placed on the chest (which gave an excuse to stare at her breasts) which would have taken awfully longer to remove. Indeed.
While she was in the shower her mind was drawn to her distress once more. Maybe he never wants to meet with her. He had no obligation to do her any favors either. She knew that he was likely harboring ill feelings but he would never show it. He would never let her know that he thought badly of her. Yet the boy she knew was never a person of rage. She wondered if that changed, after her. Couldn't Hayley Williams who had been a positive influence to many of their followers, do the same for the one who mattered most?
She imagined that she'd find out tonight.
After she was finished with cleansing herself she dried her body and her hair. She realized that she forgot to consider the time it takes for her to dry her hair. Habitually she would brush her hair for a good ten minutes after a shower. Being more vary of the time in her hands rather than the upkeep of her hair, she quickly changed into fresh clothes; Dark jeans and a grey sweater. Simple enough.
She grabbed her stuff and exited the bathroom. Throwing them on the couch, she hurried to check her phone again, praying that there was a reply.
The fates were kind for the singer.
One unread message. Received only two minutes earlier.
"Yes. Is my apartment alright with you?"
He replied. The words were from him. She was going to see him...tonight. It humbled her that she got what she wanted. It also made her tremble with exhilaration. For all she knew, any more giddiness would make her heart explode. Oh wouldn't that be a shame; Hayley Williams falling dead over a text message?
She collected herself and replied.
She felt shameful for what she said next.
"Where's your apartment?" She cringed at her own message. She prayed that he wasn't offended. (Ignorance is your new best friend). Her phone buzzed with a reply; the address. It was a seemingly in an un-offended tone. She sighed in relief.
"I'm at the Patriot Center now I'll be there as soon as I can."
As she was putting the phone in her pocket, she heard the bus door unlock. It opened and Taylor followed by the rest of the guys who were talking among themselves, walked in.
"Whoa you're already finished?" Taylor spoke up.
"Yep. The bathroom is all yours now" Hayley replied.
Being the goofball, Taylor playfully punched her while saying "Aw look at her all grown up."
She smirked and rolled her eyes. She walked to her closet to look for her jacket. Then she remembered that it was November. It would be cold outside tonight. Christmas was around the corner. Soon enough snow will start falling in Fairfax, maybe it already started in Franklin. Back home, her sisters must be excited for the holidays. She was keen to see her family; all of her family, some sooner than others.
She grabbed her scarf and her beanie and spun around to face the guys who were all seated on the couches.
"What's with the scarf?" Jon asked his interest piqued while most of the others continued their conversations.
"It's for the cold, I'm going outside" She replied wrapping the scarf around her neck.
"And where might you be going?" Jon asked with a playful tone.
She paused for a second contemplating the answer "I'm going to see a friend." She replied with a smile.
"Who's the friend?" Jeremy asked this time, his tone not playful unlike Jon's.
She spun around to face him and smiled reassuringly for a second before she replied. "Just a friend... She lives around here and I asked if I could drop by after the show and she said yes." Hayley said keeping the smile.
"Oh, okay" Jeremy eased off. She smiled once at him then headed for the door. "Alright guys I might be late so don't wait up for me. Bye!" She said while covering her head with her beanie and put on her jacket.
"Bye!" the guys said in unison as she walked out. The near-winter chill kissed her cheeks as she stepped outside. Hurrying out of the parking lot and onto the streets, she hailed a taxi and asked the driver to take her to her destination.
They went along the illuminated streets of Fairfax, taking a right or left occasionally. Being unacquainted with the roads of Fairfax, she simply stared at the tall buildings and the people walking in the streets.
Her heart beat faster as she anticipated the moment she faces him again. Before, she was concerned only to the point of meeting him; never did she contemplate what would happen next. She mused on what would happen.
Should she apologize? Should she pretend that nothing happened? Lord help her, should she admit her feelings? She knew that he was most likely has stopped thinking about her. It was what she did. She wondered if he had found someone else. The very idea made her heart ache.
The taxi was slowed and came to a stop. "This is your stop ma'am" the driver announced.
"Thank you. How much do I owe you?" She spoke. "That'll be twenty dollars." The driver replied. After paying the fare, she stepped out of the vehicle and was greeted by the cold atmosphere. Standing under a orange street light, she realized that she doesn't know which apartment building he lived in. She was about to grab her phone from her pocket when she noticed a silhouette approaching her.
Who was it? What did the person want?
As the figure got closer, the light from the lamp began to illuminate his face.
She knew the face. It resembled the face that she knew when she was a teenager. The face was now more mature but it she knew it belonged to the same person.
Her breath caught in her throat. At this moment, time seemed to stand still. All the background noises faded away. She felt numb mostly, only feeling her heart hammer against her rib cage.
What was she going to do? Now was the time.
Without contemplating her actions, she threw herself into his arms, and kissed him full on the lips.
They both pulled away from the kiss realizing what had just happened, yet still holding eachother.
Ah young love, spontaneity at its best. She closed her eyes and inhaled the winter air. She was swimming in joy and excitement.
She found herself smiling. Looking in his eyes, she spoke.
And then they kissed again.
