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now that both naeun and eli have left you, do you think you'll ever be able to find love again?

she stares blankly. the question comes to her ears but when she tries to answer, all she gets is silence. because nobody put those facts for her like that. nobody was this direct when talking about things like that. and the words - they left her. naeun. eli. bekah, too. and aiden, though he left a long time ago. hailey never thought like that because she never let herself think like that. she is not a masochist. she doesn’t like to expose her wounds - damn, she doesn’t even like looking at them. she ignores everything and she carries on with her life, that’s what she always did.

but now, this person’s words clung to her brain and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. her eyes are filled with tears and she doesn’t want to brush them off. her lips are covered by her shaky fingers, but the shock doesn’t let her answer just yet. she doesn’t even think about the whole question. everything that echoes in her head is, now that both naeun and eli left you. she purses her lips. naeun was gone: her sweet friend, her darling lover - gone. and eli was gone. eli, her oppa, her oldest friend. he was security, he was assurance. he held her up when all she wanted was to fall and keep falling. and they both were home. there was no better word to explain what they meant to hailey. home - as simply as that. and now that they’re gone, she doesn’t know where home lays.

“i don’t know” it’s a whisper, shy and scared. her fingers curl around each other and she shakes her head. “i don’t know” she repeats. “i don’t... not a bit... i have no idea” she says once again and takes a deep breath. “and i don’t even know if i want that” hailey raises her head and there’s a fiery sparkle on her eyes. “i lost too many people and i loved each one of them. i loved them with all i have because... because that’s just what i do” she swallows. “i don’t know if i want to go through this again. again. i must be the glorious queen of ruined relationships” she laughs bitterly and wipes the tears of her eyes. “so.. yeah... i don’t think i will... because i’m not willing to”

#h;ask #( hAHAHhahaha THIS IS FINE!!!! THIS IS GREAT !!!! )#( ANOTHER MUSE WRECKED I AM SO !!! ). ( THANK YOU TOO #LUCIFER )#Anonymous

How do you feel about Naeun?

“oh” she lets out. a chuckle comes from her lips, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. the smile on her lips dies too soon - which is so confusing, because talking about naeun made her really happy. at least it used to. now that she was gone and hailey was left with an empty apartment, it hurts to talk about the other female. “i miss her” she says, nodding and as she does so, a few tears escapes her eyes. hailey tries to laugh, to dismiss the pain, but it only makes things more bitter on her mouth. “sorry” she says in broken words and shakes her hand, hiding her face. that pain was still fresh and it hurt so much. it cut through her heart and went beyond the emotional limit. it’s like she could feel it in her bones - like the pieces of her heart were everywhere, sharp and sawing through her flesh.

“sorry, i’m sorry” hailey says in a renewed tone and she takes a deep breath before looking up again. the tears were still there, but she was determined to answer the question. “i guess... i loved her. i still do.” she purses her lips and shrugs, a very sad laugh coming from her lips as she tries to wipe the tears away. “she was... she was everything. she made me feel brave and happy. she was that comfort when i got home tired from training. she was strength and kindness and home.” she pauses. “and i love her. and i miss her. and i wish... i wish i told her that before. i wish... she could’ve stayed” hailey hears herself saying that and it feels like it’s not her. because she was still in denial, as she always were when it came to naeun. “but i guess there’s nothing i can do about that anymore, right?”another sad smile. she had nothing else to say.

#h;ask #( THANK YOU SATAN WHOEVER YOU ARE )#Anonymous

Dating scandals can instantly ruin an idol's image. What would you do if you met the perfect partner after debut? Would you risk everything to date them, or give them up for the idol life?

“i... um...” she pouts as she thinks about this because wow, was that a hard question. she bites on her bottom lip and scratches the back of her neck. “well, i think i would love this person! i mean, if they’re my perfect partner!” hailey chuckles and she knows very well that’s not the reply they wanted. she clears her throat and tries again. “i think i would end up risking things to date them. i don’t know, honestly, but i think i would. and then i would pray for the fans to approve our relationship!” hailey chuckles again. “or that it never got to the press. whatever, it’s fine. i think happiness is more important than one’s career. but then again, my career could give me immense happiness... oh that question is a tricky one.” she takes a deep breath and there’s a wrinkle on her forehead. “so! um... yeah, i think i would risk things. if i think it’d work. aish, yes, okay, this answer! it’s the best i can do!”

#h;ask #Anonymous

Do you think you're a variety talent? What kind of show would you like to be part of? Would you be satisfied just being the "variety talent" of your group and not getting a chance to express yourself as an artist?

“yes, yes!” she says as she makes a funny face and puts her thumb in the air. “i mean, i love making people laugh and they say i’m very good at that?” she feels her face growing hot and she hides it on her hands as hailey laughs. “i think that in variety shows we can show our charms? like, different charms! because when you sing, you have some kind of charm, but you can show it all? does it make sense?” she smiles warmly and she takes some time to fix her bangs.

“as for the show i wanted to be part of…” she bites on her lower lip and looks up with excited eyes. “i know it’s not a current variety, but i would love to be in invincible youth! every episode was funnier than the other. it’s really great! and you get to bond with another idols” she nods, excitedly. “but i would also like to appear in the return of the superman.” she says but quickly corrects herself. “not as a mom, though! i mean, i would like to visit the triplets, i love them so much! oh my god, did you see that dae han has to wear glasses now? it’s really sad, but i also want to squeeze him and give him a ton of kisses, and–” she takes a breath. “i got carried away, right? sorry” hailey says in a shy manner.

“and ummmm, i don’t know if i’d be satisfied with that. i wouldn’t mind at all! but, you know, i’ve been training to be an artist and i wish that people will appreciate this, too.”

#h;ask #Anonymous

What was the best day of your life that you can remember?

she can’t help but smile at that question. a huge grin comes to her lips and soon she’s chuckling - because the mere thought of that day makes her happy. it wasn’t anything special - but why does the best day needed to be about great things happening? an ordinary day could be a perfect one.

“okay, this will sound silly, but... it was the day i opened my youtube channel” hailey can’t control her smile and it was honestly starting to hurt her cheeks. “you see, i was down for weeks. i was doubting about my potential and i doubted that i really wanted to make music. i didn’t know if that was what i really wanted to do” she pauses. “that day, i felt like i was doing something right. like i was finally going through the right path. it was like... like my dream was coming back from the dead! i don’t know, like it was a phoenix coming back from the ashes!” hailey chuckles, throwing her head back. “i didn’t do much, i just... arranged things on the guitar and the piano. and aiden was so handsome that day! he brought me ice cream - a really expensive, really delicious ice cream. he spent half of the day quoting what i think that was steinbeck” she chuckles again. “silly, just because he needed to read for the classes. and i also skyped with eli and showed him some originals - he really liked them! and oh! that day my parents actually complimented me.” she smiles wide and shrugs. “yeah, it was a great day.”

#h;ask #rkkyuhyun

it's big audition time and your rival for the part is someone you care very deeply for. would you give it your all even if it divided you or is love more important than a good opportunity?

she scrunches her nose because she doesn’t like the answer that’s on the tip of her tongue. but then she remembers - she has to be completely honest. and she knew that this wasn’t going to be nice. hailey then takes a deep breath and gives an apologetic smile.

“i wouldn’t give up on a good opportunity” she starts and bites on her bottom lip. “this makes me feel like i’m a bad person!” she exclaims, letting a chuckle fall from her lips. hailey clears her throat then so she can finish her reply. “there are two parts of me fighting, so i’ll explain them both. one of them says that even if i love them, i shouldn’t pass an opportunity. i should grab every opportunity i have” she lets all the air out of her lungs and scratches the back of her head. “wow that was hard. and made me feel so selfish” her tongue pokes out and then she shifts on her seat to talk about the other part of her. “but the other part says: if i give up on a good opportunity because of someone else, aren’t i assuming that i’m already better? that i already won? that this person can’t get this opportunity because i obviously will get it. you know? pretentious. i couldn’t do that. a fair competition is what’s best, i guess”

#h;ask #rkhyeri

What are your thoughts on giving up? Would you consider yourself partially a failure if you ever 'gave up' or would you move on to another goal?

“i think that giving up is necessary, sometimes” she gives a smile and plays with her hair absent-mindedly. “i mean, it’s not necessarily something bad, you know. sometimes you just need to give up on things and figure out why it isn’t working. and then you go to the next thing. of course, it’s something easy to do, if you really want something. but i think it’s worth it? maybe?” she chuckles, covering her mouth with her hand. she wonders once again because she feels that’s not what the question means. so she bites her lips, because she thought of giving up on music before - several and several times. hailey is actually surprised she haven’t given up already.

“when it’s about music...” she starts and shifts uncomfortably on her seat. she always wondered if it was something she really wanted or her parents made her think it was something she really wanted. “i think that even if i give up on being an idol, i’d set my eyes in another goal related to it. i mean, i could teach. or i could direct musicals! oh, that would be great!” she smiles excitedly. “i guess i wouldn’t consider myself a failure, but...” she swallowed and the lump on her throat made it hurt. “i guess my parents would find a way to do that for me” and then she shrugs, giving a sad smile.

#h;ask #rkethan