now that both naeun and eli have left you, do you think you'll ever be able to find love again?
she stares blankly. the question comes to her ears but when she tries to answer, all she gets is silence. because nobody put those facts for her like that. nobody was this direct when talking about things like that. and the words - they left her. naeun. eli. bekah, too. and aiden, though he left a long time ago. hailey never thought like that because she never let herself think like that. she is not a masochist. she doesn’t like to expose her wounds - damn, she doesn’t even like looking at them. she ignores everything and she carries on with her life, that’s what she always did.
but now, this person’s words clung to her brain and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. her eyes are filled with tears and she doesn’t want to brush them off. her lips are covered by her shaky fingers, but the shock doesn’t let her answer just yet. she doesn’t even think about the whole question. everything that echoes in her head is, now that both naeun and eli left you. she purses her lips. naeun was gone: her sweet friend, her darling lover - gone. and eli was gone. eli, her oppa, her oldest friend. he was security, he was assurance. he held her up when all she wanted was to fall and keep falling. and they both were home. there was no better word to explain what they meant to hailey. home - as simply as that. and now that they’re gone, she doesn’t know where home lays.
“i don’t know” it’s a whisper, shy and scared. her fingers curl around each other and she shakes her head. “i don’t know” she repeats. “i don’t... not a bit... i have no idea” she says once again and takes a deep breath. “and i don’t even know if i want that” hailey raises her head and there’s a fiery sparkle on her eyes. “i lost too many people and i loved each one of them. i loved them with all i have because... because that’s just what i do” she swallows. “i don’t know if i want to go through this again. again. i must be the glorious queen of ruined relationships” she laughs bitterly and wipes the tears of her eyes. “so.. yeah... i don’t think i will... because i’m not willing to”















