his footsteps are slow as he moves towards bellamy sitting at the table all alone. it’s been a few months of living back in space now, and this is something he’s wanted to admit for a while, but he wasn’t sure how. he’s sure harper has picked up on what he’s doing, but he’s not ready to talk to her about it yet, either. it’s not about any sort of lack of trust in her; it’s just that bringing up jasper to harper is something he’s been trying to avoid as he continues to work through nearly losing her too. his relationship with bellamy is different, he’s someone that monty will forever feel a deeper bond with than most people, regardless of how much time they ever spend together. bellamy can understand him on a certain level that most others can’t, because of what they’ve done side by side. and that’s why he’s here, talking to him about it first ----- because he likes to think that everything he’s working through could potentially help bellamy, too.
he offers a small nod of his head with a silent hello, taking the seat across from him and sitting in silence as he places a stack of papers in front of him. they’re nothing he wishes to share with anyone, but at least talking about them feels necessary. teeth bite at his cheek, his fingers tapping along the papers as he nods to reassure himself before speaking.
❝ i’ve been writing them letters. ❞ he’s sure he doesn’t have to speak their names: jasper, clarke, his mother. ❝ maybe it sounds stupid. there’s just ------ a lot i wanted to say and never got to say, ❞ he admits. this isn’t just a confession, though: this is an attempt to help him, too. bellamy doesn’t have to try the same, but he wants to put that idea in his head in case it may help him anyway. it’s start to help monty, at least. ❝ obviously, there’s no place to send them, but . . . ❞ he trails off, fingers scratching at his head as he lets out a small sigh. ❝ almost feels like i should float them. let space have them. ❞ as if that would free all the sorrow.
he takes a deep breath, finally allowing his eyes to meet bellamy’s. ❝ ----- have you ever thought of doing anything like that? ❞ asked in a soft tone, something that says he doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t wish to. he’s not here to push anyone into talking about anything, because that’s exactly what he needed himself. but he found a way to cope that has started to help him, and he wants to share that.
@andhumans ↺ monty & bellamy.