IN WHICH — you post an innocent ig story of your store-bought sushi, and haikyuu boys take that opportunity to try to slide in your dms
EXTRA — crack, fluff, slight ooc, semi-timeskip
A/N — hi … first post & smau on this blog aha hope u enjoy 🤞 lmk if u want a part 2 !!!!!!! this is lowk buns
click here for more works ♡ + taglist
creds to kat (@oikyawa) for the first slide dm 🧐🧐 thank u momo (@fukunaagal) for motivating me to post dedicated 2 eme (@lovedlorned) and sariah (@ryomenlettuce)
synopsis: oikawa proposes, but you didn’t even know you were dating | includes: fluff, crack, use of pet names, reader being and oblivious idiot, miscommunication, friends to fiancés, oikawa is dramatic, kissing, mentions of anxiety | masterlist
You don’t realize you and Oikawa are were dating until he proposes to you.
It’s blazing in Italy, but the sun is setting and the wind has started to pick up, the sea breeze adding a nice, cooling comfort. Oikawa is on his knee, in the sand, looking like he’s about to throw up. His pupils are dilated, and his cheeks are the deepest shade of crimson you’ve ever seen them.
At first, you think he’s joking around, trying to claim the attention you didn’t give him today from bystanders. But then his eyes start getting watery— like real tears were forming— and you realize he’s dead serious. Oikawa’s a bad actor. Even he, despite his over the top personality, wouldn’t be able to bring tears to his eyes on command.
“Toru, what?” you whisper shout, not believing what’s happening at all.
The ring box starts shaking in his hand. He’s actually nervous and waiting for your answer. “Just say yes for the public. If you want to turn it down, please do it in the hotel room,” he begs just as quietly.
You give the public the answer they crave. Oikawa forces a smile onto his face and places the ring on your finger. When he stands up, he’s still jittery, but he hugs you tight anyways. Cheers erupt from the small crowd around you. An older lady exchanges phone numbers with Oikawa to send him pictures she took of the proposal. Everything feels weird, and stupid, and exactly how you pictured a proposal from Oikawa to be. He holds your hand as he leads you away from the crowd and in the direction of your hotel.
Neither of you exchange many words. Oikawa is too caught up with self-deprecating thoughts, already preparing for you to take off the ring and reject the proposal the second you guys close the door to the hotel room. You, on the other hand, are contemplating your relationship with Oikawa up until this point. He seemed so serious. Either he’d learned to act overnight, or you actually just got proposed to.
Both of you are so in your own heads that it feels like no time has passed when Oikawa shuts the door with a soft click. The silence between the two of you is deafening. You have no idea where to start, and Oikawa is hoping his relationship with you isn’t ruined forever.
“Listen, I thought we were ready for this, but if you’re not comfortable I completely understand. I still love you so much, and I still want to be with you… if that’s what you want of course!” Oikawa says in one breath. He’s wringing his fingers and popping his knuckles through his entire monologue. It’s a dead giveaway he’s anxious.
Your hands reach out to his, calmly brushing your fingers over the backs of his hands. “Hey, calm down,” you soothe. He lets out a nervous breath at the contact. While the gesture is meant to be sweet, it sends Oikawa’s nerves haywire. Now more than ever he wants your honesty (even if he frequently complains you’re too harsh). “Why are you so freaked out right now? It was just a joke, right?” He’s silent for too long. “…Right?!”
“Well…”
“Toru, you did not just propose to me,” you say in bewilderment, eyes blowing wide. “Are you serious? You want to marry me?”
“Yes?” he responds as if it’s the dumbest question in the world. He flips your hands so now he’s holding you. The man is still trembling, but holding you helps. He feels like he’s grounded on this planet again at least. “You’re literally my dream girl. You’re so patient. Not even Iwa puts up with me as much as you do! And besides that, we’ve been dating for three years now. It’s only natural that—“
“Pause. We’ve been together three years?” you interrupt.
Now it’s Oikawa’s turn to be bewildered. His jaw drops, “The betrayal! I’ve dedicated my time, heart, and milk bread to you, and you don’t even know how long we’ve been together?” Always the most dramatic in the room.
You just roll his eyes at his typical antics. “Toru, I’m being serious right now. Since when were we ever dating?”
The theatrics die in his throat. His brows furrows as his eyes become clear and he tilts his head to the side. “What do you mean? I asked you out the night we went to the aquarium and then that fancy restaurant,” he recalls. “You were wearing a deep red dress, and I only remember because my heart was in my ass… Also, you need to wear that dress more often. I think it’s the most turned on I’ve ever been while you wear fully clothed and not teasing me.”
“You asked me out that day?”
“Yes?” Now you’re both confused. The date is still a fond memory for the two of you, but Oikawa has a very different recollection of how it ended. “I asked you to be my girlfriend over desert.”
The realization hits you instantly. “Oh. Oh no.” You remove your hands from Oikawa and sit down at the edge of the bed in the middle of your room. Your head drops in your hands out of embarrassment as you come to the conclusion the two of you have been in a three year long miscommunication.
“What?” Oikawa asks frantically. He follows you like a lost puppy and sits down right next to you. “What’s the matter?”
“I thought you meant girl-friend, as in friend who’s a girl,” you admit. Your hands don’t come down from your face, but you spread your fingers to peak at Oikawa. You regret it immediately when your eyes meet his intense ones. “I didn’t know you meant girlfriend girlfriend.”
Oikawa tilts his head to the side. “Now, why would I ask you something stupid like that?”
“I don’t know! You always complained about girls liking you, so I thought you were asking me to be your friend since you had no other female friends.”
“Baby, you met my family, and I’ve taken you on family vacations,” Oikawa points out gently. He removes your hands from your face and just holds them again. The contact brings him more comfort than your words ever could.
“Iwa has too though.”
Oikawa nods his head in begrudging agreement. “Ok, yes,” he laments. “But we literally celebrate an anniversary! And we have date nights at least once every other week!”
“I thought it was a friendship anniversary.”
“A friendship—“ Oikawa cuts himself off with a deep breath before he can find it in himself to call you an idiot. “Ok, whatever. Iwa’s met my family and been on family vacations, and you thought we were celebrating a friendship anniversary. What about the fact we kiss?! And we’ve literally had sex… multiple times!”
“Friends with benefits…?” you try to justify sheepishly.
The answer to Oikawa’s original question, the proposal, is long forgotten. You’re both staring at one another like you hardly know each other. Then, out of nowhere, Oikawa laughs at the absurdity of the whole situation. You’d really spent the past three years thinking his romantic gestures were just friendly.
Oikawa’s eyes soften. “Baby, you went to all of my home games and even made the time for me to fly you out to my games across the world. We live together,” Oikawa pointed out. “We’ve spent so many late nights giggling and talking about our futures. We’ve cooked together. I’ve taken care of you when you were drunk. I’ve even let you do your skincare routine one me, and you know I don’t play about my skincare!” He paused when he saw you chuckle. A small smile came onto his face at the combination of your amusement and the memories flooding his brain. “I call you ‘baby’ like it’s the name on your birth certificate because for me, it is. How could you possibly be just a friend to me?”
“I’m not just a friend,” you grin. “I’m your girl-space-friend.”
“Oh, shut up,” Oikawa mumbled, rolling his eyes. Even so, he couldn’t help the genuine surge of love that washed over him as he stared at your smiling face. His hand came up to you cheek, thumb gently stroking the flesh there.
“What? Do I have something on my face?”
Oikawa’s hit with the sudden realization that you probably had no idea what his look of love was. Knowing you, you’d probably assumed he was thinking about how good of a friend you were to him. “No,” he finally answered after a moment too long of silence. He leaned in closer so that his forehead rested against yours. “This is how I look when I’m thinking about how much I love you.”
You smile at him. Softly, you plant a peck on his lips. Not because the circumstances felt opportune or because Oikawa initiated it. Because you simply wanted to and you could. “I love you too, Toru,” you mumbled. You don’t realize it, but your pupils have dilated and you’ve got this soft look on your face that instantly turns Oikawa to mush.
He shakes his head. “No, baby. I mean I love you love you.”
“I know,” you reply. “I love you love you too.”
Another silence follows, but this time it’s comfortable. All the memories of the last three years come to the forefront of your mind. There’s laughter, and messes, and arguments, and kisses. But all of it feels right. It feels like your average day with Oikawa. Your heart is happy, and so are you.
“I’ll do it,” you finally answered.
Oikawa’s brows furrow in slight confusion. “Do what?”
“I’ll marry you,” you inform him.
He doesn’t hesitate to crash his lips onto yours, wide smile on his face because he’s overjoyed that you actually said yes. Then he remembers the exact conversation you’ve been having for the past twenty minutes and he pulls back. You didn’t even know you guys were dating. There’s no way you just agreed to this engagement.
“Are you sure?” he asks cautiously, hoping fate isn’t cruel enough to rip this joy away from him. “I mean, I have sort of been in a one sided relationship the past three years. I’m perfectly fine if we take another year or two for you to know me as your partner as opposed to your friend.”
You roll your eyes at the suggestion. “I already know how you are as a partner. You’ve been mine for the past three years. If anyone should be worried, it should be you,” you remind him. “Besides, I am more than happy to legally bind you to be my best friend for the rest of our lives.”
Daichi: one word, GIRTHY. he’s definitely the biggest but not the longest..I know some of y’all expected a horse cock from him..sorry to burst your bubble. It’s a bit tanner than him and the tip is like a peachy pink. He has two veins that come together midsection and make one all the way around his shaft— they aren’t prominent and bulging when he’s hard but they are definitely there and you can see it. I’d say he’s about 5inches soft and a good 6.3inches hard. There’s a slight curve to the left but like before, it’s not prominent at all. Also he has some pretty nice balls, they aren’t too big and they aren’t too small, they are literally JUST right. He has the most painful boners known to men & he’s prone to ball cramps cause he never has time to relive himself. Did I mention he has a slight happy trail? Michimiya goes dumb and crazy when she sees it (me too girl)
Sugawara: He is very average but he knows how to use his dick right, that’s all I gotta say. It’s a pretty cock to and I’d like to think he has moles everywhere on his body, so Suga has a mole on his balls and one on the side of his dick. No veins when he gets hard that you can trace, but you can the bluish color at the rim of his cock when he’s hard. It’s the same color as him and the tip is like a baby pink that you cannot take your eyes off of, you really wanna color code it so when you get your nails done next time, that’ll be your go to color. His balls are very tight, he doesn’t get any cramps and he doesn’t even ejaculate a lot so that’s amazing. No curves, not hooks, just a straight dick. Hes a solid 5.9inches hard and 4inches soft. Oh and he’s VERY clean shaven I mean not a hair follicle in sight, no peach fuzz either.
Asahi: now this guy right here..it’s always the quiet and timid guys with the heaviest of cocks. I mean he’s girthy AND lengthy. Brother is HUNG..by hung I mean 6 inches soft and 6.9 (damn near 7 inches) hard. The uterus can only take about 5 inches before your brutally beating the cervix up guys. His dick isnt straight either, he has a DEFINED curve to his cock, a left curve at that—I mean it hits all the right spots. No veins either?! The heck. His balls aren’t as big though💔 theyre average sized and they hang, low. The color of his shaft is probably a little bit darker than him? But his tip is a pretty light red. The only two flaws I can think of is that he’s not circumcised, have fun using his foreskin as a stress toy! And his pubic hair is all over the place. But he’s so gentle when he uses it on you, AGHHH.
Tanaka: also Average, there is nothing too special about his cock except the fact that his balls are extremely tight, like too tight. Is he clean shaven? Nope, he has some peach fuzz down there and he use to have some hair on his balls but he quickly got that under control when he realized that’s why his gym shorts were FUNKY. He does not have the nicest morning wood either, he so desperately tries to stop it from coming EVERYDAY. And it’s stubborn to so he spends most of his morning trying to keep his hard-on under control. 4inches soft and a good 5.8 hard. He doesn’t not give off big dick energy, he’s too chalant and loud for that.
Nishinoya: hes still average just not big or lengthy. His shaft is extremely tan, you’d think he goes commando at the beach every other day & his tip is an angry red. Whenever he gets hard his dick becomes sore and sensitive ESPECIALLY his tip, oh my god. His balls are cute though, they go well with his cock and they aren’t very loose nor are they very tight. They look like two mini golf balls ready to be juggled <3. He’s a bit hairy but nowhere as near as Asahi’s hairy ahh. 4inches soft and 5.5 inches hard.
Tsukishima: skinny. Skinny and fucking long. I’m not even exaggerating, this is 100% legit bro I’m his polyester Calvin Klein boxers. No one besides yam knows that he’s carrying a weapon of mass destruction in his underwear, literally NO ONE..cause he changes in the shower after a game or practice. It’s soft, calm and looks delicate but it causes an insane amount of orgasms and overstimulation. 5.7inches soft and 7 fucking inches hard. His dick almost goes past his belly button..I need yall to look at that in perspective for a moment. Do not let me around him while he’s wearing grey sweatpants, he manspreads so that swordfish of a cock can get comfortable. His tip is pink and his balls hang a bit low but they are still a blessing in disguise. His shaft is the same color as him, very even and fair. And he is CLEANN shaven. Like if you’re laying down beside him and just slip your hand beneath the waistband of his boxers or pants, that v-line area is so SOFT. And he’s very cocky about it to. The most annoying bastard you know has the longest cock known to man kind..I’m gonna put him on a “who has the best deep stroke” list soon💔
Yamaguchi: idc what anybody says, just like asahi— THAT DICK IS BIG. It’s not long but it’s also not short like nishinoyas. He has the MEANEST right hook..not his punch guys..his dick. It curves to the right like a crescent, but it’s heavy in your palms. I headcanon that tadashi is tan (dare I say southeast Asian or mixed with some type of Hispanic/carribean) so naturally his dick is gonna be a few shades browner than him. Not overly hairy but he does trim every once and awhile..his balls are VERY nice looking..they hang right and sit in your hands like a holy grail. His girth is amazing, dare I say astonishing. His tip isnt pink it’s like the color of skin but wayyy lighter, but it also flushes pink when he’s hard. He doesn’t have a high libido but he’s also someone with VERY stubborn morning wood, but it’s usually every other day. And no one knows how hung he is besides tsukii..and suga😭 for Tsukishima, they literally change in front of each other—there is no TMI or “close your eyes!” In their friendship. They would literally wipe each others asses if the other couldn’t do it. But for Suga?…oooh. He walked by the showers when yams and Tsukishima were changing and got a glimpse of it; he never spoke of it though, and to be frank I don’t think neither Tsukishima or yams noticed either. Oh and he’s not circumcised either..yeah. 4inches soft, 6.5 inches hard. It’s the weight of his cock that makes up for it, but also 6.5 is pushing it a bit if I’m being honest, that’s like 3cms above average.
Kageyama: there isn’t anything special about his dick, it’s VERY average and it’s probably the most “perfect” one among scientists. It’s not abnormally huge or extremely miniature, it’s just right! But I beg to differ because our mean of “perfect” varies. His is almost identical to Sugawaras but minus the moles and you can definitely see the color of the veins rather than feel it— hard or not. his balls are pretty tight but not like nishinoyas and he’s perfectly cut..iykwim. Shaft is the same color as his skin and his tip is a pretty baby pink. VERYY bald, no peach fuzz. His nails and pubic hair is something he maintains extremely well.
Shoyo: his cock is FAT..but it’s 5 inches. Sorry💔 it’s somewhat tan and his tip is a peachy pink. He got circumcised later on in life so, yes—you can see the incision where they cut off the extra skin. Balls are pretty normal though, but he definitely free balls in the comfort of his own him. He cannot stand lounging around in compression shorts or briefs he HAS to wear boxers or some type of lose fabric. His cock is just juicy and he doesn’t even know HOW to work it..like I said; 4inches soft and a perfect 5inches hard. It’s almost as thick as a coke can but I can guarantee you it’s fucking fat. He has one vein that wraps around his shaft like a loose string.
