IN WHICH β you post an innocent ig story of your store-bought sushi, and haikyuu boys take that opportunity to try to slide in your dms
EXTRA β crack, fluff, slight ooc, semi-timeskip
A/N β hi β¦ first post & smau on this blog aha hope u enjoy π€ lmk if u want a part 2 !!!!!!! this is lowk buns
click here for more works β‘ + taglist
creds to kat (@oikyawa) for the first slide dm π§π§ thank u momo (@fukunaagal) for motivating me to post dedicated 2 eme (@lovedlorned) and sariah (@ryomenlettuce)
You donβt realize you and Oikawa are were dating until he proposes to you.
Itβs blazing in Italy, but the sun is setting and the wind has started to pick up, the sea breeze adding a nice, cooling comfort. Oikawa is on his knee, in the sand, looking like heβs about to throw up. His pupils are dilated, and his cheeks are the deepest shade of crimson youβve ever seen them.
At first, you think heβs joking around, trying to claim the attention you didnβt give him today from bystanders. But then his eyes start getting wateryβ like real tears were formingβ and you realize heβs dead serious. Oikawaβs a bad actor. Even he, despite his over the top personality, wouldnβt be able to bring tears to his eyes on command.
βToru, what?β you whisper shout, not believing whatβs happening at all.
The ring box starts shaking in his hand. Heβs actually nervous and waiting for your answer. βJust say yes for the public. If you want to turn it down, please do it in the hotel room,β he begs just as quietly.
You give the public the answer they crave. Oikawa forces a smile onto his face and places the ring on your finger. When he stands up, heβs still jittery, but he hugs you tight anyways. Cheers erupt from the small crowd around you. An older lady exchanges phone numbers with Oikawa to send him pictures she took of the proposal. Everything feels weird, and stupid, and exactly how you pictured a proposal from Oikawa to be. He holds your hand as he leads you away from the crowd and in the direction of your hotel.
Neither of you exchange many words. Oikawa is too caught up with self-deprecating thoughts, already preparing for you to take off the ring and reject the proposal the second you guys close the door to the hotel room. You, on the other hand, are contemplating your relationship with Oikawa up until this point. He seemed so serious. Either heβd learned to act overnight, or you actually just got proposed to.
Both of you are so in your own heads that it feels like no time has passed when Oikawa shuts the door with a soft click. The silence between the two of you is deafening. You have no idea where to start, and Oikawa is hoping his relationship with you isnβt ruined forever.
βListen, I thought we were ready for this, but if youβre not comfortable I completely understand. I still love you so much, and I still want to be with youβ¦ if thatβs what you want of course!β Oikawa says in one breath. Heβs wringing his fingers and popping his knuckles through his entire monologue. Itβs a dead giveaway heβs anxious.
Your hands reach out to his, calmly brushing your fingers over the backs of his hands. βHey, calm down,β you soothe. He lets out a nervous breath at the contact. While the gesture is meant to be sweet, it sends Oikawaβs nerves haywire. Now more than ever he wants your honesty (even if he frequently complains youβre too harsh). βWhy are you so freaked out right now? It was just a joke, right?β Heβs silent for too long. ββ¦Right?!β
βWellβ¦β
βToru, you did not just propose to me,β you say in bewilderment, eyes blowing wide. βAre you serious? You want to marry me?β
βYes?β he responds as if itβs the dumbest question in the world. He flips your hands so now heβs holding you. The man is still trembling, but holding you helps. He feels like heβs grounded on this planet again at least. βYouβre literally my dream girl. Youβre so patient. Not even Iwa puts up with me as much as you do! And besides that, weβve been dating for three years now. Itβs only natural thatββ
βPause. Weβve been together three years?β you interrupt.
Now itβs Oikawaβs turn to be bewildered. His jaw drops, βThe betrayal! Iβve dedicated my time, heart, and milk bread to you, and you donβt even know how long weβve been together?β Always the most dramatic in the room.
You just roll his eyes at his typical antics. βToru, Iβm being serious right now. Since when were we ever dating?β
The theatrics die in his throat. His brows furrows as his eyes become clear and he tilts his head to the side. βWhat do you mean? I asked you out the night we went to the aquarium and then that fancy restaurant,β he recalls. βYou were wearing a deep red dress, and I only remember because my heart was in my assβ¦ Also, you need to wear that dress more often. I think itβs the most turned on Iβve ever been while you wear fully clothed and not teasing me.β
βYou asked me out that day?β
βYes?β Now youβre both confused. The date is still a fond memory for the two of you, but Oikawa has a very different recollection of how it ended. βI asked you to be my girlfriend over desert.β
The realization hits you instantly. βOh. Oh no.β You remove your hands from Oikawa and sit down at the edge of the bed in the middle of your room. Your head drops in your hands out of embarrassment as you come to the conclusion the two of you have been in a three year long miscommunication.
βWhat?β Oikawa asks frantically. He follows you like a lost puppy and sits down right next to you. βWhatβs the matter?β
βI thought you meant girl-friend, as in friend whoβs a girl,β you admit. Your hands donβt come down from your face, but you spread your fingers to peak at Oikawa. You regret it immediately when your eyes meet his intense ones. βI didnβt know you meant girlfriend girlfriend.β
Oikawa tilts his head to the side. βNow, why would I ask you something stupid like that?β
βI donβt know! You always complained about girls liking you, so I thought you were asking me to be your friend since you had no other female friends.β
βBaby, you met my family, and Iβve taken you on family vacations,β Oikawa points out gently. He removes your hands from your face and just holds them again. The contact brings him more comfort than your words ever could.
βIwa has too though.β
Oikawa nods his head in begrudging agreement. βOk, yes,β he laments. βBut we literally celebrate an anniversary! And we have date nights at least once every other week!β
βI thought it was a friendship anniversary.β
βA friendshipββ Oikawa cuts himself off with a deep breath before he can find it in himself to call you an idiot. βOk, whatever. Iwaβs met my family and been on family vacations, and you thought we were celebrating a friendship anniversary. What about the fact we kiss?! And weβve literally had sexβ¦ multiple times!β
βFriends with benefitsβ¦?β you try to justify sheepishly.
The answer to Oikawaβs original question, the proposal, is long forgotten. Youβre both staring at one another like you hardly know each other. Then, out of nowhere, Oikawa laughs at the absurdity of the whole situation. Youβd really spent the past three years thinking his romantic gestures were just friendly.
Oikawaβs eyes soften. βBaby, you went to all of my home games and even made the time for me to fly you out to my games across the world. We live together,β Oikawa pointed out. βWeβve spent so many late nights giggling and talking about our futures. Weβve cooked together. Iβve taken care of you when you were drunk. Iβve even let you do your skincare routine one me, and you know I donβt play about my skincare!β He paused when he saw you chuckle. A small smile came onto his face at the combination of your amusement and the memories flooding his brain. βI call you βbabyβ like itβs the name on your birth certificate because for me, it is. How could you possibly be just a friend to me?β
βIβm not just a friend,β you grin. βIβm your girl-space-friend.β
βOh, shut up,β Oikawa mumbled, rolling his eyes. Even so, he couldnβt help the genuine surge of love that washed over him as he stared at your smiling face. His hand came up to you cheek, thumb gently stroking the flesh there.
βWhat? Do I have something on my face?β
Oikawaβs hit with the sudden realization that you probably had no idea what his look of love was. Knowing you, youβd probably assumed he was thinking about how good of a friend you were to him. βNo,β he finally answered after a moment too long of silence. He leaned in closer so that his forehead rested against yours. βThis is how I look when Iβm thinking about how much I love you.β
You smile at him. Softly, you plant a peck on his lips. Not because the circumstances felt opportune or because Oikawa initiated it. Because you simply wanted to and you could. βI love you too, Toru,β you mumbled. You donβt realize it, but your pupils have dilated and youβve got this soft look on your face that instantly turns Oikawa to mush.
He shakes his head. βNo, baby. I mean I love you love you.β
βI know,β you reply. βI love you love you too.β
Another silence follows, but this time itβs comfortable. All the memories of the last three years come to the forefront of your mind. Thereβs laughter, and messes, and arguments, and kisses. But all of it feels right. It feels like your average day with Oikawa. Your heart is happy, and so are you.
βIβll do it,β you finally answered.
Oikawaβs brows furrow in slight confusion. βDo what?β
βIβll marry you,β you inform him.
He doesnβt hesitate to crash his lips onto yours, wide smile on his face because heβs overjoyed that you actually said yes. Then he remembers the exact conversation youβve been having for the past twenty minutes and he pulls back. You didnβt even know you guys were dating. Thereβs no way you just agreed to this engagement.
βAre you sure?β he asks cautiously, hoping fate isnβt cruel enough to rip this joy away from him. βI mean, I have sort of been in a one sided relationship the past three years. Iβm perfectly fine if we take another year or two for you to know me as your partner as opposed to your friend.β
You roll your eyes at the suggestion. βI already know how you are as a partner. Youβve been mine for the past three years. If anyone should be worried, it should be you,β you remind him. βBesides, I am more than happy to legally bind you to be my best friend for the rest of our lives.β
Daichi: one word, GIRTHY. heβs definitely the biggest but not the longest..I know some of yβall expected a horse cock from him..sorry to burst your bubble. Itβs a bit tanner than him and the tip is like a peachy pink. He has two veins that come together midsection and make one all the way around his shaftβ they arenβt prominent and bulging when heβs hard but they are definitely there and you can see it. Iβd say heβs about 5inches soft and a good 6.3inches hard. Thereβs a slight curve to the left but like before, itβs not prominent at all. Also he has some pretty nice balls, they arenβt too big and they arenβt too small, they are literally JUST right. He has the most painful boners known to men & heβs prone to ball cramps cause he never has time to relive himself. Did I mention he has a slight happy trail? Michimiya goes dumb and crazy when she sees it (me too girl)
Sugawara: He is very average but he knows how to use his dick right, thatβs all I gotta say. Itβs a pretty cock to and Iβd like to think he has moles everywhere on his body, so Suga has a mole on his balls and one on the side of his dick. No veins when he gets hard that you can trace, but you can the bluish color at the rim of his cock when heβs hard. Itβs the same color as him and the tip is like a baby pink that you cannot take your eyes off of, you really wanna color code it so when you get your nails done next time, thatβll be your go to color. His balls are very tight, he doesnβt get any cramps and he doesnβt even ejaculate a lot so thatβs amazing. No curves, not hooks, just a straight dick. Hes a solid 5.9inches hard and 4inches soft. Oh and heβs VERY clean shaven I mean not a hair follicle in sight, no peach fuzz either.
Asahi: now this guy right here..itβs always the quiet and timid guys with the heaviest of cocks. I mean heβs girthy AND lengthy. Brother is HUNG..by hung I mean 6 inches soft and 6.9 (damn near 7 inches) hard. The uterus can only take about 5 inches before your brutally beating the cervix up guys. His dick isnt straight either, he has a DEFINED curve to his cock, a left curve at thatβI mean it hits all the right spots. No veins either?! The heck. His balls arenβt as big thoughπ theyre average sized and they hang, low. The color of his shaft is probably a little bit darker than him? But his tip is a pretty light red. The only two flaws I can think of is that heβs not circumcised, have fun using his foreskin as a stress toy! And his pubic hair is all over the place. But heβs so gentle when he uses it on you, AGHHH.
Tanaka: also Average, there is nothing too special about his cock except the fact that his balls are extremely tight, like too tight. Is he clean shaven? Nope, he has some peach fuzz down there and he use to have some hair on his balls but he quickly got that under control when he realized thatβs why his gym shorts were FUNKY. He does not have the nicest morning wood either, he so desperately tries to stop it from coming EVERYDAY. And itβs stubborn to so he spends most of his morning trying to keep his hard-on under control. 4inches soft and a good 5.8 hard. He doesnβt not give off big dick energy, heβs too chalant and loud for that.
Nishinoya: hes still average just not big or lengthy. His shaft is extremely tan, youβd think he goes commando at the beach every other day & his tip is an angry red. Whenever he gets hard his dick becomes sore and sensitive ESPECIALLY his tip, oh my god. His balls are cute though, they go well with his cock and they arenβt very loose nor are they very tight. They look like two mini golf balls ready to be juggled <3. Heβs a bit hairy but nowhere as near as Asahiβs hairy ahh. 4inches soft and 5.5 inches hard.
Tsukishima: skinny. Skinny and fucking long. Iβm not even exaggerating, this is 100% legit bro Iβm his polyester Calvin Klein boxers. No one besides yam knows that heβs carrying a weapon of mass destruction in his underwear, literally NO ONE..cause he changes in the shower after a game or practice. Itβs soft, calm and looks delicate but it causes an insane amount of orgasms and overstimulation. 5.7inches soft and 7 fucking inches hard. His dick almost goes past his belly button..I need yall to look at that in perspective for a moment. Do not let me around him while heβs wearing grey sweatpants, he manspreads so that swordfish of a cock can get comfortable. His tip is pink and his balls hang a bit low but they are still a blessing in disguise. His shaft is the same color as him, very even and fair. And he is CLEANN shaven. Like if youβre laying down beside him and just slip your hand beneath the waistband of his boxers or pants, that v-line area is so SOFT. And heβs very cocky about it to. The most annoying bastard you know has the longest cock known to man kind..Iβm gonna put him on a βwho has the best deep strokeβ list soonπ
Yamaguchi: idc what anybody says, just like asahiβ THAT DICK IS BIG. Itβs not long but itβs also not short like nishinoyas. He has the MEANEST right hook..not his punch guys..his dick. It curves to the right like a crescent, but itβs heavy in your palms. I headcanon that tadashi is tan (dare I say southeast Asian or mixed with some type of Hispanic/carribean) so naturally his dick is gonna be a few shades browner than him. Not overly hairy but he does trim every once and awhile..his balls are VERY nice looking..they hang right and sit in your hands like a holy grail. His girth is amazing, dare I say astonishing. His tip isnt pink itβs like the color of skin but wayyy lighter, but it also flushes pink when heβs hard. He doesnβt have a high libido but heβs also someone with VERY stubborn morning wood, but itβs usually every other day. And no one knows how hung he is besides tsukii..and sugaπ for Tsukishima, they literally change in front of each otherβthere is no TMI or βclose your eyes!β In their friendship. They would literally wipe each others asses if the other couldnβt do it. But for Suga?β¦oooh. He walked by the showers when yams and Tsukishima were changing and got a glimpse of it; he never spoke of it though, and to be frank I donβt think neither Tsukishima or yams noticed either. Oh and heβs not circumcised either..yeah. 4inches soft, 6.5 inches hard. Itβs the weight of his cock that makes up for it, but also 6.5 is pushing it a bit if Iβm being honest, thatβs like 3cms above average.
Kageyama: there isnβt anything special about his dick, itβs VERY average and itβs probably the most βperfectβ one among scientists. Itβs not abnormally huge or extremely miniature, itβs just right! But I beg to differ because our mean of βperfectβ varies. His is almost identical to Sugawaras but minus the moles and you can definitely see the color of the veins rather than feel itβ hard or not. his balls are pretty tight but not like nishinoyas and heβs perfectly cut..iykwim. Shaft is the same color as his skin and his tip is a pretty baby pink. VERYY bald, no peach fuzz. His nails and pubic hair is something he maintains extremely well.
Shoyo: his cock is FAT..but itβs 5 inches. Sorryπ itβs somewhat tan and his tip is a peachy pink. He got circumcised later on in life so, yesβyou can see the incision where they cut off the extra skin. Balls are pretty normal though, but he definitely free balls in the comfort of his own him. He cannot stand lounging around in compression shorts or briefs he HAS to wear boxers or some type of lose fabric. His cock is just juicy and he doesnβt even know HOW to work it..like I said; 4inches soft and a perfect 5inches hard. Itβs almost as thick as a coke can but I can guarantee you itβs fucking fat. He has one vein that wraps around his shaft like a loose string.
