u're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like homestuck.
Stranger: sup in the hizzle house
Stranger: the house is sparkiling
Stranger: new snow has fallen on its roof
Stranger: the children are making snowmen
Stranger: do you kiss your mom with that sassy mouth of yours
You: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
Stranger: or do you just stomp all over her christmas fantasies
Stranger: youve missed the last stair on the staircase
You: :B i dont believe in "To far"
Stranger: ok thats what ill tell nasa when i ship you off in a rocket into space
Stranger: 'woah guys what happened to that one kid'
Stranger: 'he did not believe in too far'
You: you going to touch my "rocket"?
Stranger: im sending it away why do i wan to touch it
Stranger: its probably poisened
Stranger: christmas fatansy ruiner
Stranger: it is most likely wrinkled like a hairy grandma with no toes
Stranger: also as short as her
Stranger: can stop wont stop
Stranger: your in for the long run now
Stranger: we are on this freeway together
You: bad boys bad boys whacha gonna do? whacha gonna do when they come for you?
Stranger: no getting ou of the car and turning back
Stranger: because WE ARE NEVER TOO FAR
Stranger: maybe they will
Stranger: pour nacho sauce
Stranger: like the gross kind from the movie theatres that everyone secretly likes
Stranger: its pretty bad boy
Stranger: also then they will make you eat it
You: yeah shuuuuuuuuuuure you are
Stranger: woah dude better turn own the sincerity button on your emotions backpack
Stranger: its going through the roof
You: my emotions are fine
Stranger: the roof hath fallen down
You: there still fucked up
Stranger: the roof has crushed a single father
Stranger: he will never go home to his two children
Stranger: they are now in an orphanage reinacting a modern day version of annie
Stranger: do you see what you have done
Stranger: fake it till you make it
You: bake it till you pace it
Stranger: now im not following
Stranger: i has followed this whole dialouge like an old man to a small child
Stranger: i have given up
You: im a grown man, wiht a grown brain
Stranger: the girl will go untraumatized
Stranger: my metaphores are great screw you
You: pardon me well i turn my swag up
Stranger: smelly mcdonalds hamburger meat you
You: where the man child babies at?
Stranger: kids would cry quicker then a trip to mitt romney republic
You: would you care for green eggs and ham?
Stranger: but what is a god to a king
You: kings are pussy cats
Stranger: no i just want to understand how to butter toast
Stranger: it is the only thing i can cook
Stranger: but it is too hard
You: hard like a motherfucker in summer time w
Stranger: if you are god i am become athiest and stay that way for all eternity
You: when you need some icecream and you up and die
Stranger: agnostic no longer, i have truely made up my mind once and for all
Stranger: the haugen dauze
Stranger: why this happen
Stranger: if you are god why do things like 'hey god its me margret' even exist
Stranger: why would you do that
Stranger: to the CHILDREN
You: because god, me, made it that way
You: you gotta live wiith is litte ma
Stranger: that is a terrible way to answer terribly and you should feel terrible for saying it
Stranger: also if you are god for christmas
Stranger: i want all of the cats
Stranger: i mean all of the cats
Stranger: they just fall on
Stranger: windows 7 computers
Stranger: what is even going on here
Stranger: i still don understand portal 2
Stranger: shhh the children can hear you honey
Stranger: ok i also have a problem
Stranger: there is no salsa
Stranger: the cheese kind
Stranger: your supposed to give me salsa
Stranger: there is some asian lady beside me and she is
Stranger: she s peturbing me
Stranger: why IS SHE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT
Stranger: I JUST WANT SALSA
Stranger: ok before we go on
Stranger: ineed to give you an exam
Stranger: the fate of the universe depends on it
Stranger: are you prepared
Stranger: you might want to get some water
You: why should i sit down?
You: will i haev to flip my shit?
Stranger: no it should remain unflipped
Stranger: like a bad pancake made by an eight year old
Stranger: that is the test question
Stranger: its ok we will pretend that never happened
You: i.am.going.to.flip.my.SHIT!
Stranger: it is all behind us now
Stranger: light years away
Stranger: the ship will not penetrate
Stranger: YOUR ROCKET AS I SEND YOU INTO SPACE
You: salad and shit flipping
Stranger: no get that human feces off thegrill and leave that where it belongs
Stranger: wow that sounded way wierder then i meant it too
You: my shit is inside me
Stranger: my jimmies are already wrestled
Stranger: there is no going back
Stranger: im not pooping with you
Stranger: i just want my salsa
Stranger: pancake was a condiment?
You: man that just blew my mind
Stranger: enough poop talk now we are smelling up the chat box
Stranger: shit smells gross
You: we need some air freshner
Stranger: get the febreeze before the perfume popo fines us and showers us with ralph lauriane
You: my shit is comfortabe where it is
Stranger: no dude you started this
You: oh shit no more shit talk
Stranger: you muSTCVBUJHKH
You: GHDKJGjkfdshgd i can
Stranger: MY HEATER JUST TURNED ON
Stranger: I GOT SO SCARED]
Stranger: ahhh my feat are war,
Stranger: qhat if feet were soliders
You: give me some of that warm
Stranger: you had to cut them off and they fought like pokemon
Stranger: no man its my warm
You: i NEWEDSTDGHSKDGJHS it!
Stranger: hush little baby dont say a wrod
Stranger: mommas gonna buy you a mocking bir
Stranger: and if that mocking bird dont sing
Stranger: mommas gonna but you a diamond ring
Stranger: if the diamond ring dont shine
Stranger: I GOrgOT THE LYRICS
Stranger: your momma cant even affor a fucking sparrow let alone diamonds anyways
Stranger: sorry man i just
Stranger: bro no i cant be playing ddr on your feelings like tha
Stranger: shits not right
Stranger: didnt see that one did you
Stranger: pop goes the weasel dude
Stranger: better make some posicels
You: yeah you would like them
Stranger: what else do you make with shit and coldf
Stranger: we have been over this chapter in hisory
You: did we have a tes t on it
Stranger: i do npt wan the d
Stranger: probably we did but i lost
Stranger: worse then your shipping grid
You: NODSGHKJFhn dhjfh NOOOOOO
You: NOSDGHjfdkgn NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: there is no davejohn
Stranger: that is like he sauce on pizza
Stranger: a a davejade shipper
You: im the ranch yo the salad
Stranger: my body isnt ready
You: EEEEEEEEW no davejade
Stranger: you may have hope yet
Stranger: also your salad sucks
Stranger: worse then yo9 mommas ranch
Stranger: OHHHHHHHH DAYUM
Stranger: I HAVE GONE WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE
Stranger: my burns were truely sick
Stranger: i have caused a parademic
You: your bums are that right
Stranger: the world is in ruins
Stranger: ew get your eyes out of my panties wannabie
You: im not a wannabie im a ALREADYBIE !
Stranger: alreadybies more like a
Stranger: the one that stung yo daddy WHEN HE CRIED LIKE A PANSY
Stranger: it has already happened
Stranger: im sorry this is just the way it has to
You: fghdzkjghk BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZzz
Stranger: aw yeah my toast is ready
You: how long was it cookin man
You: thdshgdfgh SHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIT
Stranger: we do not use poo words hear
You: PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stranger: THAT WAS NOT OK
Stranger: YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM YOUNG MAN
You: theres a monster under the bed
Stranger: I AM CONFISCATING YOUR TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYLIST
Stranger: atthis rate, the smell from your ifinite pile of shit will DRIVE THEM AWAY
Stranger: DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN
You: schooled liek a hot bun damn
Stranger: only your wrinkled hairy ones
Stranger: we need punbs is the only ation you will ever get
You: give me yo buns gurllllllllllllllll
Stranger: no sauges please
You: buuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttt
You: i nejhbdfkjg NNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDD them
Stranger: and your pokemon SUK
Stranger: THEY ARE SO TERRIBLE I CANT EVEN SPELL
Stranger: this is why PEETA is here
Stranger: because of people like you
Stranger: with your davejade
You: GALE will kick that pale motherfucker into space
Stranger: best hunger game fan
Stranger: you get all the awards
Stranger: oh sorry did you say somehing
Stranger: i cant hear it over the sound of you being smuthered
Stranger: wait that is not even a burn
You: lammmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeee
Stranger: also gale is better
Stranger: that was not nesccsairy
Stranger: im tellin yo daddy and hes not gonna let yopu play in the sandbox with me anymore
You: when i cant think of another burn
Stranger: im going to have to build all these fucking castles by myseklf
You: my pa let me do what i want
Stranger: no wonder his child the way he is
You: i'll bring a bucket of water and tare those bithces down
Stranger: me and yous kingdom =had a PACT
Stranger: yo priness could mary my dragon
Stranger: AND WES GO GET ALONG
Stranger: you cannot undo what you have done
Stranger: going to have to send my feet soliders
You: we can repopulate! i can!
Stranger: and annihlate your village
Stranger: you cannot apologize
Stranger: you have done too much wrong
You: ....oooooooooooohhhh?
Stranger: fuck this that is not where you put a kingdom
Stranger: have you even played sand castles
Stranger: are you even a child
Stranger: THEREFORE YOU ARE NOT A CHILD
Stranger: saYYYYYYYYYYYYUMMMMMMMMMMMMM
You: UTy sdfhgsdkfjhg fdkhg
Stranger: wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOaAAH
Stranger: only if its apple crumble pie
Stranger: well obviously everbody hates apples
Stranger: but you pu them and pies
Stranger: then they become beauty
You: they taste the smae to me
Stranger: like a small battle b-damon before it evolves
Stranger: you have never experienced a true apple crumble
Stranger: you arethe reason we have global warming
Stranger: hush, i will take pity on you and spare your weenie kingdom
Stranger: no wonder you will never get any buns
Stranger: i know you know that i know you know
You: i know you know that you know i know
Stranger: i know you lnow that i know that you know that i know that you know that cats i know
Stranger: ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME
Stranger: ONE OF THESE HINGS DO NOT BELONG~~
Stranger: i know that you know
Stranger: EAT THE APPLE CRUMBLE
Stranger: fuck man my heater turned off
Stranger: i have literally aquired every sad
You: shit man, heres your warm back
Stranger: each scientific sad has shook my hand told me the name of it and its family and is now liing inside of mwe
You: (look man dont leave, im going to go eat. dont leave me)
Stranger: i think i just shed a single tear of gratitude
Stranger: dont worry dude im here for you
Stranger: we rae on this path now
Stranger: im never leaving
Stranger: we are raising children together
Stranger: im go be at your ma funeral
Stranger: i will cpmfort yourwife during metaopause
Stranger: im go be there when there is no rance to your salad
Stranger: no meows in your goat
Stranger: when you shit yourself at prom when yo sister dances with you
Stranger: always be there
Stranger: this car wont ever leave
Stranger: this is a one-way highway son
Stranger: cant get out of this minivan now
Stranger: because there is no such thing as
Stranger: ok when your done reading that bible of text just wail around a bit im taking a power nap
Stranger: this shits on recharge
Stranger: wail around a bit as long as my cat doesnt hit esc itll all be good
Stranger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss0kFNUP4P4
Stranger: wow i thought you were eating dinner not running a triatholon speed eater
Stranger: what did you do shove the whole box of kd down your throat all at once
Stranger: you go ge indesgetion
You: i did it for you man
Stranger: look ill give you some digestive cookies when your tummy gets all yuegjebvf
Stranger: its ok they will make it better
Stranger: shhhh only digestive cookies now
Stranger: or tea biscuits
Stranger: merry birthday fucker
Stranger: YOU SEE WHAT I DO FOPR US
Stranger: hey hold the hatch down while i grab a glass of
Stranger: be careful monsers might invade our sand kingdom
Stranger: ill be back honey just ea your mash potatoes
Stranger: but when milk w cookies
Stranger: HO DASYUM CHILD
Stranger: ok im thirsty one sec fo real
You: http://dork-girl.tumblr.com/
Stranger: woah man hat milk was sytraight up
Stranger: woah look tumblr
Stranger: hell fucking YES
Stranger: http://hardcoreroadkill.tumblr.com
Stranger: its not whAT YOU THINK
Stranger: you run across the street
Stranger: and scream ROADKILL
Stranger: protip: you win by NOT DYING
Stranger: not at birthday parties
Stranger: my friends are fucking dense like ten kids all ran at once when we were like 8 and a car was coming
Stranger: THATS NOT HOW YOU PLAY
Stranger: ITS HOW YOU LOSE
Stranger: that man was not very happy when he gave us that lecture
Stranger: except we just create a valley of tears
Stranger: with our emotions untill we drown
Stranger: man fuck we just ruined our sand kingdom
Stranger: I CAN LITERALLY NOT HANDLE THIS
You: man we have to rebiuld
Stranger: no man get the kids to do it
Stranger: i aqm 5690-% done
Stranger: with these sand castles
You: they need work skills anyway
Stranger: we clearly have no better work skills then we have typing skills
Stranger: our burns will be sicker tHEN ANY MERE CHILD
Stranger: so violet sup sup sup
Stranger: that is a pretty name flowers are bamd
Stranger: nah man mine means 'defender of man kind'
Stranger: like what the hell
Stranger: why do i have to do hat
Stranger: its kind of an important job somebody else can
Stranger: not today im drinking a milkshake
You: i think it would be kewl
Stranger: there is no way to save them
Stranger: no amount of sandcastles can repropriate for the loss
Stranger: they have done too much wrong
Stranger: too little hamburgers
Stranger: they are gone now
Stranger: we shall never speak of them again
Stranger: hushhushhush child wait
Stranger: so violet whereabouts in the globe is your particular patch of fauna
Stranger: no that was a lame joke
Stranger: im canadian probably thats why
Stranger: we only have lame jokes
Stranger: nobodies mean enough here
Stranger: no you don unjderstand...
You: milk is the fruit of all life
Stranger: that was inspiring
Stranger: shakesphere would be proud
Stranger: in fact he is trembiling with emotional tears
Stranger: of the beauty and purity of that sentence
Stranger: you shpould be proud
Stranger: prouder then rebecca black on her eigth birthday when she bedazzled her whole house with sparkles
Stranger: i am also like yeah
Stranger: this is remarkable
Stranger: i had no idea we would have so much in common
Stranger: this is christmas magic right here
Stranger: helly to THE JELLY ON TOAST
You: the christmas bitch has brought mircles
Stranger: fucking MIRACLES
Stranger: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
You: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhh
Stranger: go buy some eggnog honey, WE ARE TEACHING OUR KIDS ABOUT THE TRUE MEANING OF CHEISTMAS
Stranger: right here, RIGHT NOW
You: all ready taken care of
Stranger: wow the whole emphatic thing was ruined with my typo
Stranger: this is perfect
Stranger: for a non johndave
Stranger: i have prepared a fire
Stranger: gather hithren with the dorrito flavoured marshmellowd these toddlers gon get SCHOOLED
Stranger: they have gone to university to become better people
Stranger: hey have no need fpr us and our christmases
Stranger: that sentence is
Stranger: MY EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING RAMPADLY LIKR ROLLERCOASTERS COPME BACK
Stranger: BEING A PARENT IS SO HARD
Stranger: woah hold tight on that tran swerve grab rudeolphs reins the food has been brought
Stranger: woah sorry there dude, mom comes out with like a five coarse meal and then BAM im sittkn there leavin you like a chump on the other line
Stranger: whoop im hearin crickets
Stranger: it was like heaven hath descended down upon my tastebudy and sparkled its way down into my stomache acide
Stranger: edward cullen aint got NOTHIN on that dish
Stranger: what about yours
Stranger: bacon grilled cheese
Stranger: man the hatches
Stranger: the parents are raising the dreaded call of the dishwasher duty
You: shit is being messed u
Stranger: ugh, i have to go put away the dishes
Stranger: ok i dont want to keep you hanging here so im just going to say tata for now and you can leave it open i will message you on tumblr or something when if come back ok? c:
Stranger: they might start griping about piano so im just lettin a bro be warned
