#hamiltontexts

[hamiltontexting]

Madison: I've been fighting for the South alone. Where have you been?

Jefferson: Uh, France?

Madison: Nice try buddy, everyone knows France isn't real.

[hamiltruths-andlies]

How Helpless Really Went Down

Eliza: And then you walked in and my heart went "BOOM!"

Hamilton: Aww, Betsey, that's so cute. I felt the exact same way!

Eliza: I'm serious I had to go to hospital you almost made my heart explode I almost died you couldn't have felt the same way you

[hamiltontexting]

Washington: Alexander, what's that out there?

Hamilton: It's... King George in the middle of the battlefield! And he's... dancing?!

King George, Softly in the Distance: Dadadada DA! Da, dadada DIEEEYADA, dada da da dieeeyada!

[hamiltontexting]

Burr: Alright, you may have achieved a lot, Alexander. But you have yet to meet your worst enemy.

Hamilton: King George?

Burr: Worse.

Hamilton: Adams?

Burr: Worse.

Hamtilon: Monogamy?

Burr: What? No! What?

Hamilton: What could be worse than monogamy?!

Jefferson, Pimp Cane in Hand: HELLO

[hamiltontexting]

Philip: My name is Philip, I am a poet. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I'm beginning to feel like a rap god, rap god, all the peopl from the front to the back nod, back nod-

Alexander: What!

[hamiltontexting]

Hamilton: Looord show me how to say no to this!

God: I mean it's pretty easy, first you make the n noise and then follow with a sort of o noise so you say n-

Hamilton: LOOOOOORD DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY NO TO THIS

[hamiltontexting]

Laurens: How drunk were you last night?

Hamilton: Well I still have my pants on, so not very I guess.

Laurens: Those aren't your pants...

[hamiltontexting]

Laurens: Strong words from Lee, someone oughta hold him to it!

Hamilton: I can't disobey direct orders

Hamilton: Man, if only there was someone else impulsive and prideful

Hamilton: Ready to risk death to stand up to Lee

Hamilton: Man he sure would be cool, I bet people would love him

Laurens: *sigh*

Laurens: Then I'll do it