SIN WEEK DAY 1
HAWK MAMA BACK HAWK MAMA SEE SIN WEEK WHY USE HAWK MAMA PICTURE HAWK MAMA IS COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT HAWK MAMA SEE YOU IN COURT
The birds were chirping, the sun was shining and the sky was clear and the day was great. Meliodas was happy. He chugged his drink and burped loudly. He finally had the life that he wanted. Which was really saying something, seeing how just a couple weeks ago he was trying to conquer the world, kill tons of peoples and destroy his enemies. But to be fair they were trying to kill him. Retirement was doing wonders for his spirit now though. He already finished his community service and everything.
After defeating the Demon King and locking him in a chest that they then hurled into space, and then killing the goddesses and breaking the curse and saving Camelot and seeing Arthur made king and saying sorry to the four million humans they had displaced and reconciling with his brothers and got those loan sharks off his ass and finally getting rid of that rash, he now ran the Boar Hat as a normal, everyday bar owner.
Even better, he had finally married Elizabeth. His eyes glazed over with just the thought— as he brought his pumpkin spice latte to his lips to slurp loudly. He started whistling a merry tune as he reminiscing.
His light, his goddess, the thing that had given him a boner for three thousand years was finally his. Oh was she his. Her eight children were old enough to go to school, so the first opportunity he got he had them sent off to Little Knights Boarding School and Academy so they could have plenty of alone time.
He sighed happily, as he looked across the bar, thinking back—-
FLASH BACK ONE
She was upside down, hanging from the chandelier, hogtied with one of her stockings. The sounds of the whip slapping against her skin was arousing.
“Yes, yes, yes! I love this!” Elizabeth yelled, wiggling her butt and sucking on her own toes as he struck her bouncy chest over and over. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?!” She moaned loudly as her bouncy bosom bounced.
Meliodas moaned, his own bar uniform soaked through with body fluids, pumpkin juice and escargot- the rubber chicken in his mouth squeaking loudly as he swung his arm back and forth. His own dick was tied with a really cute bow as he helicoptered it in front of her face. He stood on top of the shaky stoop so he could actually reach his honey boo bear as she swung around like a slab of meat on a hanger.
THE FLASHBACK ENDS
Meliodas gave a low moan as he rubbed the front of his pants. He really did love her. “Ah… Elizabeth,” And she loved him, so much he was pretty sure he hadn’t stopped smiling since his wedding night. Which was actually agonizing as the muscles in his face cramped up.
Unfortunately, that alone time led to Elizabeth getting pregnant again about four days later. Four amazing days. He jizzed so much in those ninety six hours they even had to scrub the outside of the bar during clean up. But he was happy enough because this one he was one hundred percent sure was one hundred percent his.
Well, Meliodas put his cup down on the bar counter, as he thought. He was pretty sure this was one hundred percent his. He checked after all.
FLASHBACK
“Hey snookums?”
“What it is?” Elizabeth looked down at him, her eyes narrowed as she continued to impale him with the large love rod that was strapped around her waist. She had him half over the bar on his stomach, one leg raised onto his back, to push him snug against the bar. She looked really good in his fuck wad brother-Estrossa’s cloak.
“You’re—“ Meliodas squeaked as she pegged him deeper, harder and hitting a spot over and over that made his eyes roll. His toes curling. “You’re… really good at this? Have you— done this before?”
“Of course not,” Elizabeth whispered sweetly, petting the top of his head, before suddenly going faster. “It doesn’t count if I’m not gay. Now be a good princess, and say my name in French.”
END OF FLASHBACK
Yes, good memories.
And today was a good day too. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon and Meliodas was happily wiping down the counter of the bar and admiring his lady love, who was huge. But in a good way. Her hips and long limbs extra nice. Her stomach was protruding with her heavy pregnancy, and she happily hummed to herself while folding napkins and stacking them on her giant belly as she leaned back on the couch they put by the stove.
“Elizabeth?” he spoke up, asking. “Are you sure there’s only one kid in there?” Cause, if he had to be honest, everyone was too terrified to think of the alternative. Howzer still randomly burst into tears and whispered about nail polish at the sight of her.
“Of course,” she laughed, making kissy sounds at him that he made back. “I’ve only been with you. Just one man, one baby.”
“I’m not sure that that’s how it works,” he muttered under his breath, and she must have him heard him because she sighed, delicately putting down the last little towel. “Don’t worry, if anything, maybe having that sixsome with you and you and you and you, with you doing you while I clung onto you as you pushed you between you and me- was taking a little bit of a chance,” she sighs with longing, looking at him with mushy gooey love, “but, it was my hall pass day that day. So stop worrying, even if your clones got me pregnant too, it’s still technically you.”
“Well if you’re sure,” he went to take another chug of pumpkin flavored vodka, when at that moment the front door slammed open.
“BITCHES!” Merlin sauntered into the room, again in her grown up body and down the steps, her scream alerting everyone in the general fifty meter radius. She quickly threw a treat into Elizabeth mouth and pat her on the head as she walked by.
When she got to the table she chucked her large chest onto it, the weight making the entire thing shake. “Wait until you see what I’ve found!”
Meliodas rolled his eyes. “Can you get your tits off the table first?”
“Sorry!” Quickly Merlin removed her breasts, before she placed a smaller box on the table in its place, the thing covered in dust and weird stuff.
“And that,” he said, pointing at her beaver. “In fact, would you put some clothes on and get rid of it?”
“Fiiiine.” With snap of her fingers Merlin was instantly dressed, her clothes barely covering her but at least the important bits were covered. And she kick punted her newest experiment on a beaver out the door. “Here’s what I really wanted to show you.”
Reaching into her cleavage, she proceeded to pull out a greying, battered looking scroll, tugging and tugging until the whole thing came out, around the length of half the room. “I found this ancient scroll in among some things I got at a yard sale, they were cleaning out all the houses from the humans that either got turned into demons, died were brainwashed or were eaten and it has some prophecies on it that I think are about the Seven Deadly Sins!”
“Really?” He headed around the counter and stood next to Elizabeth as she bounced him across the room and to Merlin side with her incredible girth. “We should get the others and--”
“HEY EVERYBODY GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!” shouted Elizabeth making blood burst from the side of Merlin’s and Meliodas head.
Meliodas winced. “What in the hell?”
Elizabeth smiled sweetly. “When you have seven children, you learn to yell loud.”
FLASHBACK TRES
“Hon hon,” French Meliodas squealed as he tickled a naked Elizabeth, rubbing his cheek against her gooey skin. The princess was tied spread-eagled to the roof of the Boar Hat, and Meliodas watched from his perch on the top of the chimney as his clones went to work. Each had a peacock feather of a different size, and they strokes every inch of her as she writhed in her restraints.
“Meliodas, please!” she cried, her hips bucking up and down. At once all of the clones started covering her with chocolate sauce as they finally pulled out their cocks after three hours of foreplay and impromptu Shakespeare’s acting that left them in tears, and Meliodas sighed happily at the sight.
Only to be forcefully thrown from his perch, as Elizabeth suddenly screamed,“THIS IS DISGUSTING!”
And the force of her screaming orgasm blew all four Meliodases off of the roof with him.
FIN DU FLASHBACK
Frowning he said, “I thought you had eight?”
“Seven, eight, I think we sent eleven to school.”
“Wait? How did we sent— we don’t even—?” But before he could figure out the answer at that moment all of the Sins arrived. Diane’s head burst through the window with King attached to her ear, Escanor jumped down from the rafters light a demented old man monkey, Gowther opened a panel in the floor and stepped up, politely handing a fresh pumpkin bread loaf to Ban, who had rolled out from under another table, and stood up, and took a chair already eating a slice.
“Were you all already here?” Meliodas asked. “I thought we agreed you were all gonna go get your own apartments?”
“We did!” Escanor said cheerfully, pushing up his glasses. “We are all renting rooms here! We even get discounts on the ear plugs if we sign yearly mortgage contracts.”
Meliodas gaped at them until Elizabeth put a hand on his arm and explained, “With thirteen children in boarding school we needed the money.”
“Eight,” he corrected her.
“I’m glad you are all here,” Merlin announced. “I have some prophecies to read.” She held the ancient scroll up. Leaning against it like a stripper pole. “And since this is written in a language of the ancient race of beings called the Dkweknfapoies, and their language cannot be speaken by human tongue, I and I alone can decipher it.”
Hawk trotted in, chewing on something gross as he perked up. “Oh! Are you talking about the Dkweknfapoies? Because actually Hawk Mama and I are from Wefapalot and I actually got my first major in--”
“I AND I ALONE!” Merlin screeched loudly, sending out a foot to kick the hog, bouncing him off all the walls before crashing back into the kitchen, and she glared at the rest, as if daring them to argue. “There,” she went on happily, “now that that is settled, since I am the only person who understands the Dkweknfapoies language, I shall now translate it for you.”
She took out her reading glasses and put them on, making a face at the scroll. Everyone leaned in a bit to hear.
“Captain,” she said mysteriously, all the lights going out as a creepy green glow created a haunted look under her chin. “the first one is about you.”
“Me?” he exclaimed, gulping. “Cool. That’s cool. Is this like, a really really old scroll? And not one from when I was doing a stint in that one gay bar over by the river a couple millennium back, right? Cause whatever it says, they are lying and I totally did not have any sexual relations with that—“
Elizabeth took his hand, shutting him up. “Please, goddesses, let it be winning lottery numbers.”
“Here is my one thousand percent accurate translation,” she began, making scary finger movements. “‘The eldest son of the demon king’--that’s you, Captain--’is not actually the biological son of the demon king’.”
Everyone looked at Meliodas in surprise. His eyes popped open and his mouth dropped. “I’m not!” he shouted, before he pumped his fists. “HELL YAY! take that you asshole?! I’m not an awful, terrible demon! That’s great news! I’m so happy!” Everyone cheered as he jumped onto a table and did a jig. “I’m not a demon! I’m not a demon!”
“I’m so happy!” Elizabeth exclaimed, pressing her hands on her huge stomach. “Now our child won’t be some terrible murderer like the rest of them!”
“Wait, if Captain isn’t a demon, what is he?” Ban asked over the cheering.
Everyone looked at Merlin, who peered back at the scroll. “Yes, yes, I see. Yes it’s right here. This one symbol, and my completely accurate and singular in every way translation is thus: ‘the eldest son of the demon king is in reality... the eldest blessed son of the blessed goddess queen’.”
The room went silent and Meliodas stopped getting jiggy, frozen in place.
The… what with the what with the actual who?
“What?” he asked in confusion, scratching his head. Absolutely confused. “I’m a goddess? The son of the goddess queen? The goddess queen?”
Merlin nods. “Yes. The goddess queen.” She didn’t notice as Hawk, covered In bruises peered over her shoulder.
“Wait guys!“ he puggoed. “That symbol in that order doesn’t mean that! It means blessed by the goddess—“
Before he could say anymore the pig hog burst into white flames, no one batting an eyelash as he squealed and rushed back to the kitchen. The frantic sounds of the sink being turned on and a giant splash cutting off the horrid screaming. But like it was said before, no one was paying attention to that— because it was really fascinating to watch Meliodas go green from head to toe.
“But….,” he croaked, Ban coming up to give him a hand to keep him up, and Meliodas whimpered, “but if I’m the son of the goddess queen… then that would make Elizabeth my-- but that would mean all the happy hankie panky…”
They slowly looked at one other in growing horror, and as the sounds of the Sins erupting into vomit surrounded them, Meliodas said, “Elizabeth is my sister.” Before he just, laid on the ground, his mind involuntarily reminding him that this was the exact spot they had tried out the bridge driver position during breakfast.
Once the vomiting ended, everyone wiped their mouths. Meliodas sat, slumped over the table, sobbing into his shirt. “All these years,” he moaned. “Three thousand goddamned years I’ve waited, and for what? To fucking fuck my fucking sister.”
“There, there,” Elizabeth offered a pat on the shoulder, swallowing behind her hand.
“Hey Merlin.” Hawk peered over her arm, sniffing at the scroll. “I’m not sure if you translated this right. It looks to me like--”
“DO NOT QUESTION THE PROPHECY!” Merlin announced. “I have read the scroll of the ancient Dkweknfapoies clan, and I am the only person who knows how to read and understand. You must all accept my translation, no matter how much it doesn’t make sense, because I am the best at this. You are just rude for even suggesting that I am incorrect. This is slander! This is bullying! This is fraud!”
A tiny whimper passed Meliodas lips, as King looked at them all unimpressed, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t see what the big deal is? You guys are only first generation inbred.” He huffed, “like we always say what happens in the family stays in the family.”
