#hbbapt

[songofproserpine]

i’m readin through the novel i wrote in february/march and... y’all... heaven help me when i get published, i’m gonna be a fuckin powerhouse lmfdaskjflsd

not to pat myself on the back too much but! look!!

His laughter was like music as he hummed against her skin, gently parting her with his fingers, tasting her with his tongue. He played her body like a Theremin that moaned and wailed one single, endless note, and together they pulled their love from the marrow of their bones, and they pressed it against the darkness like a blade burning bright.

that + phrases like “[male protag name] extracted the darkness from her like a tooth”, and “love was and would always be a tender violence inflicted on the one you cherished” are just like... that’s intense? i did that? i wrote that? geez. this shit is GOOD, wtf.

[kiramessa]

kai “CULL” palmer || “I have given so much of myself to darkness and anger--to hurt and fury. I suffered and I bled, and I did it over and over again, and I learned to like it. But that kind of living... it carves a hole into you. It makes in you a black, blank space that feeds and gnaws, needing your need.”

[kiramessa]

Into the dark, into the dark I cry out, I cry out for you Night so dark Where are you? Come back in my heart

[kiramessa]

Doc wants me to remember what I wrote in Hearts Bound By a Phantom Thread next time I feel suffocated by my emotions (namely, it's fine to feel angry and have to constantly carry and then let go of that weight), and to also think of something I can do or remind myself that I do well so I can give myself positive reinforcement instead of focusing on how powerless I feel in that moment.

So... there's that. I think I wanna revisit Hbbapt as I write the self insert AU. I kinda wanna repurpose it as an original work. I think it would make a great novel. I would be proud to make it my first published work.

So... go download it on AO3 to keep and cherish: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020458

[kiramessa]

“for you...” he began, speaking in a voice as tender as any loving whisper. he tilted his face into her hands, letting her feel the tears on his cheek. “for you alone i bare my heart.”

[kiramessa]

wrendelle “wren” doe || She was Wren Doe, a girl of no name but the one she had chosen for herself so long ago. She was Wren of no home, a veteran of all her worst fears before she was even twenty years old. She was Wren, a heart-starved, vicious little thing, her own pride, her own joy--and she had nothing left to fear now.

[kiramessa]

1: i think i know what my next original project is going to be. i’ve had the idea since i was 17/18, but i wasn’t talented or experienced or old enough yet to properly handle it. but now i think i am, so that’ll be my summer project~ (and you have far cry 5 to thank for that lol)

2: my old therapist is reading hearts bound by a phantom thread (aka the novel i wrote in feb/march), and she said it’s really impressive (fdsaflkdsa)

3: the huntress and the holder of hands’ debut album “avalon” is a big time dark southern gothicy-y faith seed mood

4:

5: if any of you have any southern gothic recs--music, movies, books, tv shows--wing ‘em my way, please! i know of a few that i make poke a stick into here and there, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

[kiramessa]

i just opened up my notebook to look at my hbbapt outline, and it finally hit me.

i have three chapters left. (technically four, once 10 is written).

this fic is going to be over within days, perhaps a week.

and i just burst into tears.