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Fuck it, I'm just using Tumblr as a place to put my "Manfred gets thrown into Hisui" au writings now (although he's not in Hisui for this one rip)

Manfred's progress had been slow at best.

The state had deemed his “condition” overwhelming enough that he was taken home instead of... whatever would have happened otherwise. Manfred wasn't sure, no one told him anything.

Apparently he had lived under a roof with the blue haired woman— Franziska, her name was— before, and apparently she was his daughter. The gray haired man— Miles— was also part of the household back then. Something in their sentences as they explained to Manfred had implied Miles hadn't been living in this “mansion” for some time, but now he was visiting so often he might as well have lived there. Manfred wasn't quite sure what the young man was to him, the boy himself seemed incapable of putting the complexities of it into words.

(Was it cruel of him that he did not think of Franziska and Miles when he thought of their names, but rather his Staraptor and Roserade who he had named the same things with no idea that they were already taken names? He could picture the two Pokemon right now, the Roserade whipping at the Staraptor with her vines for the hell of it and the large Alpha Pokemon responding with only a couple agitated vocalizations, as if he was determined to make it seem like she wasn't getting on his nerves that much.)

(Was it cruel that Akari and Rei felt more like his children than these two that he'd very likely raised?)

(Was it cruel that he almost wanted to go back to all of them?)

Regardless of what he wanted or felt, he was home. That had to count for something. Truthfully, Manfred was just grateful that even if his Pokemon didn't travel with him, his handmade Pokedex had. It was filled to the brim with not only information, but in the back of it on a multitude of pages separate from the actual book, it contained many of the more personal things he had written out. Random journal entries that had no journal to keep them, descriptions of the slight flashes of memory he kept getting, charts showing how to make many items in Hisui alongside his own rantings written in the margins, and everything in between.

And yet still, Manfred raked through his memories of Hisui often, terrified to lose them like he lost his memories of this world. Damon, his Walrein, choosing to aid in Manfred's recovery of a particular nasty burn by breathing his icy breath directly onto his face. Blaise, his Arcanine, demanding that Manfred ride atop him while he pranced around the Fieldlands like if that one Alpha Rapidash had gotten drunk. That one Lucario that Manfred had assisted in saving one of Lady Sneasler's kits that wouldn't stop following him until Manfred let it join and named it specifically Gregory, even if the name made him anxious for reasons he couldn't understand.

It was all gone now. The days of Blaise guiding him through the blizzards in the Icelands. The days of getting lightly pecked over the head when Miles could sense his thoughts turning down a darker path. The days of Franziska refusing to let them settle to camp until they found a place she was satisfied with. The days of Damon forgetting he weighed too much after evolution to fully lay on Manfred anymore. The days of Gregory insisting they visit Ingo and Sneasler on the regular just because he wanted to make sure her kit was still okay...

It was all gone, with no trace.

Hisui did not exist in this universe, and neither did Pokemon.

The only people he was around in this world spoke a language he understood yet could hardly speak, and expected him to react in ways that he had long abandoned.

Don't get him wrong, Manfred felt safe here in a way Hisui could never truly replicate. No Alpha Pokemon was going to sneak in and attack in the middle of the night. No clans were going to get annoyed if he spent more time with a rival clan. No lake guardians were going to demand he answer their riddles three before giving him necessary materials. The sky would not break open, and even if it did, he would certainly not be the one to fix it.

It was just... lonely, in a different way than Hisui had been.

This place was meant to be his home. Yet, he didn't know the people, or the creatures, or how to speak the language, or how to work even the most basic form of technology here. (Seriously, he had no idea what a “sink” was but it had to be magic or something.)

He should've expected he would crack sooner rather than later. He just hadn't expected it to spawn from curiously grabbing one of the books off the shelf of the library that laid within these mansion's walls.

The letters were similar, so achingly similar to the Unown that floated and drifted around the ruins of the Mirelands. Manfred could understand the text before him, just like he could understand the language spoken around him, but even so, that implied he could not write in it. Could he still achieve the same thing through writing in Unown? Would communication actually be possible?

Would anyone believe him either way, or would they just say that the same thing that took his memory made him imagine new ones in a fantastical world to take their place?

He had collapsed to the library floor only seconds after, sending the book careening across the smooth tile away from him. The tears came faster than he expected them to. He always hated crying. It felt wrong, like he was disappointing someone. No one in Hisui had ever expected him not to cry, though— Hell, he could think of multiple people who had encouraged him to— and now that Manfred thought about it, it felt a lot more like a feeling that came from this world than one from Hisui.

That thought only served to make him feel more alone.

In Hisui, there would have been a Pokemon at his side in seconds, but here there was nothing. No barking or whining or crooning of a worried companion. No familiar texture of one of his beastly friends nearby that he could reach for and pet to ground himself. No soft breathing right by him trying to guide his body into calming down.

There was no giant Staraptor that carefully used its beak to comb through his hair. There was no quiet Lucario sitting in front of him patiently, until his aura indicated he was okay with physical comfort. There was no fuzzy Arcanine pawing at his legs and looking at him with puppy eyes. There was no flubby Walrein that insisted he use it as a pillow. There was no elegant Roserade that whipped him back to sense and provided him with a stray, soft leaf to wipe his tears with.

There was nothing.

Manfred had never felt so alone.

#red's writings #ace attorney #t two tool #manfred von karma #pokedimensional redemption au #i believe that's what it's called.#also gonna tag my custom tags for the characters manfred named pokemon after because #first of all the pokemon are meant to heavily mirror the people they're named after and second of all why not #rise above me #you're the sun #all my troubles on a burning pile #feeling good (like i should)#hella.

Watched Thor today (at last!!!) and it was ama-zing!!!!

It’s been a while since I so fully enjoyed a marvel movie-- they finally wrote Loki right again, it was hilarious, and who could believe that after all those years my ThorLoki feels would be reignited again. Damn.

#im all in.#it was fun-- amazing-- and emotional in all the right spots.#hella.#hili.txt