SPN Writing Challenge | Kinkyluce-and-sexygabe vs. hellhoundjuliet
Prompt: Honesty
Pairings: Sabriel
Word count: 2356
Tags: Angst, mention of alcohol drinking, mention of drug use, cheating.
Gabriel Novak stood at the window in the small studio apartment he shared with his boyfriend of five years, Sam Winchester. The two had met in grad school and were never apart ever since.
He had been pacing around the room, looking at his phone every now and then, before he settled at the window. Sam was late. His plane should have landed two hours ago and he was still a no-show.
It wasn’t worry that had rendered Gabriel to a lumpy mess of nerves; it was the fact that he had a secret as big as the Chrysler building that he just couldn’t hide anymore.
Just as the blonde man was looking down at his phone for what could have been the 75th time, Sam opened the door and walked in. The taller man looked tired, and a little defeated, but he smiled big the minute he set eyes on his boyfriend.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Sam said before he wheeled his suitcase to the side and rushed to hug Gabriel.
Gabriel hugged Sam back, his smile fading once his face was out of his lover’s sight. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and took a deep breath, inhaling Sam’s scent as if this was the last time he was ever to do so.
The tall man pulled away from the hug and planted a soft kiss on Gabriel’s lips. When he noticed his lover not kissing back, Sam frowned and pulled away. He looked in Gabriel’s eyes, or at least tried to, but the guilty man was unable to keep eye contact.
“Gabe? Baby? What’s wrong?” Sam asked. He looked down at Gabriel and saw tears running down his cheeks, which made his heart beat faster than ever.
When no reply came from Gabriel, Sam felt even worse, and he started taking a few steps back. “Gabriel. Talk to me,” he ordered. “Is Dean okay? Did something happen to him?”
Worry was starting to twist knots in Sam’s stomach, and Gabriel’s silence didn’t help. Eventually, after losing all patience, he grabbed Gabriel by the shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up from the daze he was in.
“WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME?” Sam shouted. He was almost wrecked with worry.
“I cheated on you,” Gabriel replied, his voice low and barely audible.
Sam huffed a laugh, hoping for a moment that Gabriel was just joking. When his boyfriend didn’t even look at him, Sam tried to convince himself that he heard wrong.
“What’d you say?” he asked, praying to every deity out there for a different story.
Gabriel swallowed hard and walked away from Sam. He went to stand by the window, trying to gather his courage to repeat what he had just said.
“Gabe? Please tell me I heard wrong, please,” Sam begged. Tears were stinging his eyes and he could barely breathe.
“I’m so sorry, Sam. I wish I could tell you that it’s a joke, but it’s not. I-I cheated on you,” Gabriel said, his back still turned to his lover.
The tall man felt as if he was just struck over the head. He was starting to feel dizzy and nauseated, and his knees were starting to give out. He couldn’t believe what he heard, he didn’t want to believe it.
“This is just another one of your pranks, isn’t it?” Sam said, forcing a smile and biting down the tears that had been burning his eyes for the past five minutes.
When Gabriel didn’t answer and instead he started crying, Sam ran up to him and forcefully turned him around, “ISN’T IT?”
“It’s not. I’m an asshole, and I’m sorry. I- I don’t know what to say, Sammy. I just- I don’t know what to say,” Gabriel replied through his tears.
Sam, finally giving out and his tears running down his face, but a part of him was still in shock. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t say anything. What could you possibly say to the love of your life telling you they cheated on you?
Eventually, after a few minutes of silence-broken only by the sound of Sam’s crying, anger started bubbling in him. He wiped his tears away and once again turned Gabriel to face him.
“I want you out. Today,” Sam said, his tone scary.
Gabriel nodded and wiped his own tears away. “I will, but first I need to tell you one more thing.”
“I don’t want to hear anything else from you. I’m done with you, Gabriel. Five years, five fucking years, and you cheat on me? You fucking cheat on me? You insensitive dick! I can’t believe you, I just can’t believe that I fell in love with a piece of trash like you. I can’t even look at you, you make me sick. Get. Out. Now.” Sam had finally broken down. He was screaming at Gabriel but couldn’t help the tears that were streaming down his face.
When Gabriel didn’t move, Sam’s anger grew bigger and with one quick move he had shoved Gabriel so hard that his back hit the wall and his head made a loud thud against the concrete.
“I said leave!” Sam snarled.
Gabriel was surprised, although he had expected this conversation to go south. He just didn’t know Sam would ever be able to hurt him. But then again, he never thought that he would be able to hurt Sam the way he did.
He pulled himself away from the wall and looked at Sam who had sparks flying through his eyes. He needed to tell him more, to tell him what really happened. He had no illusions that Sam would ever forgive him, therefore his reasons to share more had nothing to do with that. Gabriel needed to be honest with Sam, but he wouldn’t take anything less than complete honesty. He owed him at least that much.
“Sammy…” Gabriel started, but was cut off by yet another shove from Sam.
“Don’t call me that. You lost every right to call me that,” Sam growled.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I need to tell you who I slept with,” Gabriel continued but was yet again cut off by his ex-lover.
“I don’t wanna know, just leave,” Sam said.
“I know you don’t, but it’s something I really should tell you,” Gabriel replied with tears welling up in his eyes.
Sam took a deep breath and tried to take control of his anger. He knew very well what happened when he let the anger take over, and it wasn’t something he was willing to let happen. At this moment he hated Gabriel, but he also loved him and he couldn’t imagine what he’d do to him if he ever let go.
“Gabriel, I said I don’t want to know. Please, I’m begging you, just leave,” Sam replied. His tone was calmer, as if he was starting to relax.
Gabriel knew his lover too well to mistake this calm for anything but that quiet that comes before the storm. He tried to take Sam’s hand, to lead him to the couch, but the lawyer just pulled away, snarling at Gabriel.
“Would you please just sit down? You know me, and you know I wouldn’t push so hard if it wasn’t important,” Gabriel said.
He gave Sam one of his puppy dog looks and hoped for the best. Instead, came a reply that twisted a knot in Gabriel’s stomach, making him close to falling apart. “I don’t think I do know you, Gabriel. Because I thought I knew you loved me, and I thought I knew that you would never hurt me, and I definitely thought I knew well enough that you would never cheat on me. It looks like I was wrong on each and every one of them.”
“Don’t say that. I do love you, and I would never hurt you on purpose,” Gabriel said. His voice was hitching as tears started flowing down, once again, uncontrollably.
Sam huffed a laugh. “Yeah? Then why’d you cheat on me? Did you trip and fall dick first in someone?”
Gabriel didn’t reply. He knew he deserved that all too well, and he couldn’t bring himself to defend or argue about anything, especially since the worse news was yet to come.
“You going to sit down?” Gabriel asked once more.
Sam looked all over the room, trying hard to bite down his tears, but failing at it. Eventually, he stalked to the couch and sat down, making a there-you-go gesture with his hands.
Gabriel smiled faintly, and approached Sam, sitting on the coffee table just in front of him. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the breakdown, for the end of his life as he knew it.
“It was two nights after you traveled, we were very drunk, and it just happened. I don’t really know how, I mean we almost hate each other, but we were piss drunk. The thing is…” Gabriel was cut off by Sam.
“Get on with it, Gabriel! It’s not exactly a bedtime story,” he snarled.
Gabriel nodded and continued, “I will, but before I tell you, you need to promise me not to be mad at him for too long.”
“I owe you nothing. Wait.. it’s someone I know? Is it Balthazar? It’s Balthazar. I knew you had a thing for him. I knew it! You kept saying I was just being jealous for nothing, but apparently I’m not so crazy after all,” Sam quickly growled, not giving Gabriel much time to answer any questions he asked. As soon as he finished his rant, he got up and headed for the bedroom he shared with Gabriel.
“It’s Dean!” Gabriel said, much louder than he should have.
Sam stopped in his tracks. He breathed deeply, trying to keep the lid on his anger.
It didn’t work.
With a swift move that Gabriel barely saw coming, Sam pushed him down. The shorter man fell hard on his ass, but didn’t complain - he knew he had it coming.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Sam asked, his hands balled into fists.
Gabriel, from his position on the ground, crossed his legs and looked down at the floor. He was more ashamed about who he had slept with than the fact that he cheated on Sam. He could barely look at the other man.
“It was a couple of days after you left, we were really drunk, and I mean really drunk. He came over one night. He was already drunk and slurring his words, talking about how Cas would never even spare him a glance,” Gabriel said and then he swallowed hard, preparing himself for what was to come.
Sam did nothing. He was simply standing there, almost in a haze, not believing his own ears.
“We drank some more, and lit up a joint. Long story short we got really shit faced, and next thing I know Dean was kissing me. I should have pushed him away, I should have done something, but I didn’t,” Gabriel started crying- nay, sobbing - but he knew he should finish the story before Sam lost control again, so he continued on. “He kissed me, and I kissed back. I wasn’t thinking at all, and I know it’s not an excuse, but I was really out of it, and so was Dean.”
Sam was silent. He had no words at all, he simply turned around and went into his bedroom. He stayed in there for almost twenty minutes, the sound of his sobs resonating into the living room, where Gabriel was still sitting on the floor.
When he returned to the living room, he had two duffle bags with him. He threw them both at Gabriel without a word and turned around to go back into the room, only to be stopped by Gabriel calling out his name.
“Sam, I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but I beg you - don’t be mad at Dean. He wanted to tell you the next morning, once we woke up and realised what had happened. But I told him how important this conference was for you, and I begged him to let me tell you first. So, please, don’t hate him. He was just really upset. You know he’s been in love with Cas for five years now, and I know for sure he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. The last thing I would want is to come between the two of you. You taught me how to be a good older brother to Cas - remember how much I used to fuck up with him? Well Dean is your older brother and he just fucked up, so don’t give up on him.”
After Gabriel’s speech, which left Sam silently sobbing with his back turned to his, now, ex-lover, the lawyer just walked away.
Gabriel breathed deeply. As awful as all of that had felt, he still felt relieved to get that secret off his chest. He started gathering his things, and within ten minutes he was out of Sam’s life for good.
To Gabriel’s knowledge, Sam had a fight with his brother that lasted almost six months. Castiel stayed friends with the both of them, seeing no point in cutting all ties just because his big brother fucked up completely.
A few years later, when the wedding invitation was delivered to the Novak resident, it was Gabriel who had received it. Being the nosey brat he always was, he couldn’t help but open it, only to find Sam’s name embroidered inside the card, along with the name of Kevin, Sam’s old college friend.
Gabriel couldn’t help but cry for a solid hour. He had always imagined Sam’s name on a wedding invitation, only he had pictured his own name next to it. It was painful, too painful to dwell on for long - after all, he was the one who ruined that dream.
After he was done crying, Gabriel just smiled, feeling somewhat happy that Sam could find someone to treat him the way he deserved to be treated.
I guess? I have a tendency to pick up everything I’m learning really quickly and easily. So if that counts, then that. If not, I’ve been singing for years, so there’s that
Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about youself, publicly, then send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) (positivity is cool) ♥ :D (sorry for chain mail!)
6. What are you looking forward to in the next week?
THE FUCKING SUPERNATURAL EPISODES. Have you seen the trailer?!?!?! I’m dead as a fucking doornail and totally excited. Its also supposed to snow a bunch so I’m ready for that :)
It's up to you to answer privately or not. I don't mind. So I have this crush on this guy that works at a dollar general by my house. And I'm an awkward little fish so I have never directly talked to him. Is there anything I can do to be any less awkward??
Okay, I’m going to post this so that I can remember this conversation and refer to it :)
I totally feel u on being awkward, I am but a potato. Tbh, I would embrace it, if that makes sense. You know, be yourself and if you feel like you’re being awkward, play it off a bit and laugh. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, then it’s just not fun and you feel down about yourself, right? Sometimes if I’m around new people and I do something awkward (okay, it’s guaranteed that I’m awkward lbr), I’ll laugh it off and say something like “Sorry, I’m pretty awkward haha” and they’ll usually laugh along and maybe even agree that they’re awkward too. Your mind tends to make a big deal out of something that really isn’t. It feels a lot better to get it out and realize the other person feels awkward, too :)
All in all, I just think it’s important to stay true to yourself. If you’re awkward, then who cares? It’s who you are, and tbh some people even find it cute. Maybe try to find an excuse to talk to him sometime. Like go and pick something up at the dollar general when you know he’s there and that way you can ‘run into him’ and just say hi. It doesn’t have to be a big conversation or anything. Maybe if you go to the same school, you can bring something up about class or something and you’ll automatically have something in common to talk about.
I hope this helped at least a little? Feel free to come talk to me anytime about it :)) Best of luck, hun!
