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Letter To T.
Geeze, I want to reply to this email, but I don't know how to not just shout "YEAH, ME TOO," back at it.
I want to do something. I'm bored. I'm lazy. I don't want to do anything. Maybe the internet, I hear there's money on that?
Every so often I see that some new writer has signed a deal with Marvel and they're half my age and getting to write some cool new book, and I'll just topple into depression for the rest of the day. "Why them and not me?" And then I sort of wake up and realize, "well that job actually sounds really shitty and I'd rather be living free." Like I'm a wild dog, looking in at the dog park, at all the well-fed dogs who have to wear collars and little sweaters and beg for their food. "I'd rather starve in the street than beg for your shitty scraps."
But I'm not something cool like a stray dog. I'm just some asshole.
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and it's starting to get on my nerves. I can't seem to just pick a direction and then go in it. Every day I sit down I come up with a new get-rich-quick-scheme, which I abandon after a week or so. But I have this little secret that if I ever follow-up on any of it, then suddenly it's part of a master plan.
Some days I just consider myself to have a long resume of things I've tried and failed at. Comic books, novels, acting... those three things. That's pretty long, right? I made a joke the other day about, "Why aren't I rich and famous? I've been writing abstract beatnik poetry for years now!" Which is less of a joke and more of just my life, which I guess makes my life the real joke, like we're ripping the mask off the bad guy at the end of a scooby doo episode.
Oh god, I think I'm gonna blog this letter. I'm being so clever!
I don't how to respond to things about Golf and Music. "That's my dad's bag, man." He just turned 68, hasn't golfed in about 20 years I think, god bless him. I called him for the first time in about 8 years last night. It turns out that felt pretty healthy, talking to him. He was still just playing GTA. It's his life now. I envy him. He's much the same as me, starts projects, doesn't finish them. It's like being a creative loser is fucking genetic. Maybe it is. Smoking weed, too.
I'm just trying to figure out some direction, which I don't currently have. For a while I wanted to break into comics, then novels, then acting, as I said. Now what? NO, SERIOUSLY, NOW WHAT? I'm really old and really young at the same fucking time like some goddamn quantum singularity that works at a comic shop. I've had one job for Sixteen Fucking Years now. My work-child would have his own car. Most people... don't live that way these days. And I don't know how much longer I can do, as I've said for the past fifteen years. Serving people, selling comics... it's so fucking stupid, but sometimes it's like I'm curating an art gallery that sells books and then I think I'm pretty fucking cool, but I think I'm in a rut. It's called life. A life called rut.
Anyhoo, this is getting long and disjointed "just like my penis" as I say on my dating profile. Actually, maybe I should put that into my dating profile. This letter is just full of great material!
So yeah. Being old and cranky and not having direction and being snitty at work. How's that working out for us? Is it to late to get a good job and become and mormon? Those assholes always seem smug.
h.
Herbal T The God and Joe Spesh - Blackamoors [Audio]
Herbal T The God and Joe Spesh out of the North West London based U1 Entertainment collective drop the six track Blackamoors EP. Spitting on an insightful and consciously educational tip the pair make trip through black history over some heavy…
Wax, DJ Hoppa, Herbal T, Jarv - BLAOW! (Official Video)
Herbal T The God - Essence From An Old Estate EP [Audio]
Real 90s style Hip Hop from Herbal T depicting kings and queens lives and mind states from old estates and social housing. Canvas artwork by: Cocoa’Sheye https://www.instagram.com/coco_ashaye/ Herbal T https://www.instagram.com/herbal_t_the_god/ https://herbaltredonda.bandcamp.com/ https://open.spotify.com/artist/5W6GNyh9jBPKfhkEsGfmIb Track List: Boss Level 02:09 Share These Days…
Herbal T The God ft. Ray Vendetta and Raggo Zulu Rebel - Jamaican Kings [Video]
Jamaican Kings is the third video from the “Negus Network 2” album by Herbal T The God. This track features Ray Vendetta and Raggo Zulu Rebel. The project available to download via Prestigious Recordings across all streaming platforms and on vinyl. Produced by: Bangerz by…
Herbal T The God ft. Cyclonious - Striving [Video]
Striving featuring Cyclonious is the second video from Herbal T‘s “Negus Network 2” project. This one is produced by Bangerz-By-Rayzah productions. The full project is out via Prestigious Digital Bandcamp. Shot edited and directed by: Rayzah Visualz Produced by: Bangerz by…
Herbal T The God - Negus Network 2 [Audio]
The second instalment of Herbal T The God and Bangerz by Rayzah‘s “Negus Network” trilogy. An ode to the modern day Negus (king) striving for more and better in the modern day madness. A perfect connection of bars and beats rooted within the vines of hidden knowledge history and philosophy. From the pyramids to the tower blocks of the metropolis. Produced by: Bangerz by…
