it seems like the notes on that fox post have been swarmed with people either a) asserting that bauplan means buildplan or blueprint in german, not realizing you were referring to a very specific piece of terminology rather than the general translation, with varying levels of aggressiveness, and b) taking offense to you Deducing™ that the op was a biologist. i never thought i’d see the day when tumblr would have bauplan discourse, but here it is
Isn’t it splendid? The chaos is layered, like a perfume. I will have to make a formal apology to the poor OP.
I really adore it when people try to correct you on a tiny piece of trivia, when you’re right and they’re wrong, and they also bring a bad attitude.
Anyway, we’ve learned three constructive things from this:
1.) the word “Bauplan” and how to use it in biology, along with more information about its actual etymology than its English creator had when he coined it.
2.) that if you want to learn a Germanic language, the fastest and most efficient way to do so is to start using it, and simply wait for people of that heritage to correct you. Don’t worry if you live in an area without obvious Germans or Austrians or whatever - they will be provided. Try it. Stand alone on private property in the woods in darkest Maine, two miles from a road, and whisper the word “Gesundheit” three times into the dark spaces behind the trees.
“German here,” the response will come, and they will come;
they will come out of the woods (or the storm drain, or the corner behind a potted plant, or from within the machinery of an escalator) to educate you. They always offer their qualifications for doing so (“German here,” they will say, presenting the little laminated card, as if you needed further proof, and you must squint at the card as if you really intend to memorise the number, or they’ll be hurt.) And they will not go away until you sign the affidavit acknowledging the etymology of the word and the fact that it’s German and that you’re very sorry.
They are usually wonderfully perky, friendly and very slightly apologetic, and willing to answer any extra questions that come up in the course of the lecture. Sometimes they are brusque and annoyed, because they were in the middle of doing something (like typing in a wifi password on their phone) and they had to stop doing that in order to travel halfway across the planet to personally correct you. But generally it’s quite good as a free educational service and the network coverage is phenomenal.
They’ll try to make you do a followup survey a few weeks later, but you don’t have to do that.
It’s considered unfair to deliberately bait them. So try not to, for example, use Germanic words in unprescribed ways.
For example, don’t use the names of Austrian scientists as verbs. That’s just hurtful, and they don’t understand why you’d do that.
3.) There are some people in this world who choose to copy the metaphorical behavior of metaphorical lemmings; they don’t have to, they just choose to.
There are others who choose to stand at the bottom of the sea cliff with a tennis racket, and bap the lemmings back to the top of the cliff.
Not out of any desire to save their lives. Not with any expectation of correcting their behavior. Not expecting gratitude, for you won’t get it; in fact, this is how to really piss a lemming off.
Just do it for the sensation: your hands shifting on the grip of the handle, the sun moving across your shoulders, the roar of the sea, the satisfying “thock” as you connect with the little furry body, and the “oi-oi-oi” noise that rapidly gets fainter as they disappear into the distance.
There is a pure, simple pleasure in this. “Wrong,” you can say cheerfully, punting another one, knowing the supply will never dry up.
don’t do it just to be right. Do it for the the satisfaction of that “oi-oi-oi” as it Dopplers away.














