Apr 28, 2021
such a stunning nessian art by artbyemmilinne on instagram!
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such a stunning nessian art by artbyemmilinne on instagram!
Nesta?
Thank you for asking me about my fave, @foxybananaaaz! Tagging @highfaenesta too because you also sent me my girl 😍
How I feel about this character: I don’t even know where to begin. Nesta Archeron is the first literary, fictional character who has made me feel fully seen on the page in terms of her emotional response to her particular trauma, which without getting into specifics is incredibly similar to my own. There’s a line in “Wings and Embers,” which, when I first read it, I crumpled into an emotional, gasping heap because I had never seen my own inner experience written so clearly:
“She didn’t know what to do with it, that rage. It still burned and hunted her, still made her want to rip and roar and rend the world into pieces. She felt it all—too keenly, too sharply. Hated and cared and loved and dreaded, more than other people, she sometimes thought. Could sift between them all in a matter of moments, like she was trying on different sets of clothes, and no one could tell or care.“
The irony is, in my day to day life, I don’t act or appear rageful. But getting to see a fictional character fully experience and at times act upon the rage I also feel, but am a regulated grown person who knows it isn’t healthy to act on my own rage in the real world in the same way, is cathartic, and badass (women are allowed to feel rage - Nesta reminds me of this), and validating, and just, yea, I could go on.
Then we get to ACOSF where Nesta’s particular traumatic response in terms of her inner life and experience of the world and herself in it, is also so deeply similar to my own, and my love and compassion for her (and by extension, for me - see how powerful that is?) only deepened. There’s so much more I could say, but I’m grateful for this character every damned day of my life since I met her when I first read the series years ago.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: Cassian, obv. Because that quote above, that made me feel deeply seen? Cassian is the first person in her world to see that part of her as well, really see her, and not run or shy away. That is next level OTP right there. Nessian has my whole romantic heart.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: Gwyn and Emerie, her fellow Valkyries. Friendship on the page does not get any better than what SJM gave us in ACOSF between these three.
My unpopular opinion about this character: My opinions about Nesta are all gonna be unpopular with someone 😂 The two I think are unpopular with some of my fellow Nesta stans, though, I’ll go ahead and share, and they are intertwined with each other.
First, I think Nesta’s healing arc in ACOSF, as it relates to her feelings about her father, Papa Archeron, was handled beautifully, and in just the way I felt made sense for someone who does not want to be held down with the heavy baggage of resentment and hate toward a parent whose relationship with her was deeply complicated. (I know many people think narratively that Papa A got off too easy, but when I consider the generational trauma and dysfunction that he was likely in turn enacting --- we don’t know anything about his childhood, what kind of father figure he had or didn’t have --- I think the ruling on what he deserves or doesn’t deserve in the narrative becomes less black and white and a lot more greyscale, and I think where Nesta lands in terms of her feelings about her father, at the end of ACOSF, is the most healthy place for her to have landed. This is also super personal for me, which I admit, but how SJM handled Nesta’s feelings about her father was on my shortlist of needs in ACOSF, and for what I was looking for in this regard, the book delivered and then some.)
And second, I also think Nesta’s healing arc as it relates to her traumatic response in terms of her spiraling anxiety and negative self-talk, was also portrayed realistically, and in a satisfying way for me (as someone who has experienced the exact thing we saw in ch. 50 before). This one I hope to unpack in longer posts someday after I finish my slow, deliberate reread of ACOSF, but for now, suffice it to say in this book I continued to feel really seen by this part of her experience as well, and it means ACOSF, for all of its faults which I can readily admit exist, will be a beloved, favorite book of mine always, despite its faults.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I want Nesta to remain a main character (lol), and for the bargain she made with the Mother at the end of ACOSF to play an important role in the rest of the series. I also want a true but believable reconciliation of the three Archeron sisters in canon on the page, but I can see why we haven’t gotten that yet at this point in the meta series arc. And I want Nesta in the future books to still be her prickly self, even as she has access to inner peace a lot more now than she used to.
Send me a character and I’ll break them down!
Past character posts: Mor | Rhys | Eris | Elain
Thank you sm for blessing us with such beautiful nessian arts❤
😘😘❤❤😭
Just wanted to say your nessian arts are my favorite thing on the internet. Thank you sm for drawing my babies💕
thank youuu! they’re basically the only thing I wanna draw nowadays ughughugh
Terrible and proud; beautiful as a winter sunrise. Nesta.
url moodboard: @highfaenesta
↳want one?
Connor cobalt
Easy 10 (predictable lmao but I truly love him). I have a soft spot for those characters that are cocky little shits but have the manners to back up what they are all about. Connor is one of those guys that says ‘I got this’ and has actually got it and ya know what? I need me a man like him.
His character development was one of my favorites in the series. Plus those bedroom manners???? Rude but also, yes, thank you.
Can you tell how attracted I am to this fictional character?? I’d be embarrassed but let’s be real, who isn’t attracted to Connor Cobalt???
send me the name of ur favorite fictional boy and I’ll rate them
Nessian + "Don't forget about me" by cloves
Okay - this song is amazing. Like damn, but her voice.
---
She has never been comfortable with emotion.
Shecould easily think of a dozen people she could blame for that, but the truth is, Nesta is tired. She’s tired of not being able – willing – to feel. She’s tired ofblaming her faults on others and giving them more power over her than she deserves.
She’stired of huddling behind the locked doorof her room and longing for someoneoutside it.
She’swandered out, of course she has. Elainhas just begun to heal, and Nesta would never dare risk her sister retreatingonce more because of her shortcomings. And even if she could, Feyre wouldn’t allow it.
Heryoungest sister has grown bossy, theweight of her crown one she wears withgrace and confidence that is so unlike the Feyre of old…
Nestasupposes that if Feyre were to list the people that damaged her, Nesta’s name would likely top thelist, and humble is another feelingNesta dislikes, but since she can’t quite grit out the words Feyre deserves – I’m sorry - she’ll play the role of humbleinstead.
No, hersisters will not allow Nesta to retreat entirely, but she still stays alert for the sound of wings, and as soon as shehears them –
How tiresomeit is, to be this big a coward.
Sheburies her face in the knees she’shugged to her chest, and lets out a short, quiet scream of frustration,muffled by her own skin. She hears a click, and looks up as her door swings open.
Amrenlooks odd, after her time in the Cauldron, but anyone thatthought her change made her lessdangerous is a fool.
“Theruffian has left. You can stop cowering in here,” she says, her tone blunt,and Nesta bares her teeth in reply.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’rehiding from Cassian,” Amren says inreturn. “Everyone knows that. Cassian knows that. But he’s gone. For a while, probably, so you’ll even be able to eatwith us.”
She leaves the room once more, clearly expecting Nesta to follow. She doesn’t want to, but compulsion for answers has her dragging her feet in Amren’s wake
“Howlong?” she asks when she can’t keep the words back any longer. “Is he gone for, I mean?”
Amrenlooks over her shoulder, carefully surveying her.
“Aslong as Rhys needs him to be gone.”
Andthat, is that.
Nestano longer has to retreat. Shespends time with her sisters and Amren, and even Rhysand andMorrigan, though the latter alwayswatches her in a way that leaves Nesta feeling judged.
She’snot sure yet, what she thinks of Mor.
Andevery day, she still listens for wings.
Whenthey don’t come, her heart grows heavy, and she curses herself for being a fool.
NestaArcheron doesn’t do emotions well andshe hates that.
He – they, really, because Azriel is withhim - have been gone ten days when Rhys finally speaks of them.
“I’mgoing to have to go to the camps. Cass and Az got the worst taken care of, but some of the Generals are stillbeing… difficult.”
“Howlong?” Feyre asks, her hands gripping the table tightly. That she doesn’t want him to leave her is obvious, but one of them must remain in publicview.
“I’ll go,” Nesta says before Rhys can reply. It’s easy to say the words, when she can tell herself it’s for Feyre. Less easy is it to ignore the increasedrate of her heart at the thought of seeing Cass after so many days. “The Generals fear me. And it will give you more power, if you don’t have to go yourself. You can drop me off close enough that I can walk, and it’ll scare them even more, to think I made it all that way myself.”
Everyoneis staring at her, but Nestafocuses on her toast and keeping her expressionbland.
“Thatis…actually brilliant,” Mor admits after a moment.
“Yes,”Rhys agrees, and his gaze is heavy on Nesta. “It is.”
When,hours later, he leaves her in the mountains, it’s with words of wisdom. Or perhaps a warning.
“Cassianwas dragged into games over love once. He won’t doit again, Nesta. Don’t try and make him.”
Herreply is a haughty stare, and it’srelief she feels when she’s left alone to make her way into theIllyrian camp.
Herpalms are sweaty.
It has nothing to do with the way the Illyrians hiss witch and recoil with fear at herappearance. That makes her feel nothing but a vicious pleasure.
No, it’s the man in fighting leathers who won’t take his eyes off her and looks at her with anything but fear that makes her nervous.
“OurHigh Lord heard there were still some problems,” Nesta said, every inch thehaughty bitch most of the world believedher to be. “He is far too busy to make the trip himself, of course, but I had a bit offree time.”
The waythe Illyrian general blanches pleases Nesta. Cassian’s smirk says it pleases him as well.
“We’rehappy to have you.”
It’slater, once they’ve put on enoughof a show that this first camp is back in line that Cassian enters hertent without asking.
“Whyare you here?” he asks.
“I toldyou-”
“Don’t lie to me!” the words are agrowl, and his step towards her is aggressive. Nesta feels her body stiffen, andCassian grits his teeth and keepshis distance, running a hand through hishair. “Please, Nesta. Why?”
“Imissed you,” she admits, hugging her arms around herself. Even though she had avoided him… just knowing he was there had been something. “And… I wanted to know if you missed me too.”
“Every day, since the end of the war.”
Andlike opening the flood gates, his confession sends her into his arms. He tastes like he did on the battlefield, onlythis time there is no King of Hybernhanging over them. There is no certain death to end this kiss.
And all she canthink is… finally.