#hika rambles

[xhikatsu]

I love these two so much 😭💕

Genuinely, they have such a close relationship that just isn’t shown often. But from the little bits you see, they are quite friendly with each other. Often making bets against each other, going out to eat, and lots of teasing. It’s really such a subtle but close relationship between the two when looking deeper. Makes me curious and excited to see more~

[hikaluv]

Finally ready to vent

This is just something personal, I know only a few people will read it. I made... I made a stupid decision a while ago.. very stupid and I paid for it. I paid for it big time. I was dating a guy that I never suspected would do me wrong... I was warned about this choice by another guy that I deeply cared for as well... I didn't listen.... I didn't listen to my heart and thought with my brain. Long story short, I was cheated on big time. He cheated on me for 3 full months... we only dated for like..4 maybe 4 and a half...I blamed myself, I tried to pin it all on myself. I thought "what did I do wrong, where did I go wrong, how did I fuck this up?" I only felt sad and hurt, he left me for the other person and married her a month later... talk about shitty right? I was dragged, he kept me at his side still telling me those sweet lies that, that's not what happened... even when I could see the photos I could see her post, I could see it all yet he still lied. This person had no respect for me, she was vulgar towards me, treated me like I was the dirty one and tagged me in the most vulgar things. I was only ever sad yet I still wanted happiness for him. I've been told I'm too nice, I've been told I would get stepped on because of how kind I am, boy I sure did lol. I'm so broken at this point, I was so kind all I could do was cry, I became so lost to emotion, I made poor choices, felt nothing, I had nothing at that point...I never felt so low. Then I talked to the other guy again, I thought of him immediately ahah.... I already knew what he would say before I even messaged him "I told you so" haha xD but... he did something that all my friends did as well... something that.. even though my other friends did...it hit me really hard. He got angry for me, he got mad for me, he.... really surprised me. I felt my heart move again after 8 long months of holding everything in. I don't know if he knows but I was laughing and crying when that happened, just seeing his anger on my behalf, this entire time I didn't allow one emotion to take over because I'm always kind. While he was angry I still said it was my fault but... it's not. I got angry. I felt sadness all over again but I was angry this time. He's the one who cheated on me, he's the one who went behind my back, he was the one who lied! I... I didn't do anything wrong at all. I finally feel better.... yes there are scars now, I'm not ready for a relationship ship just yet but.... the future... seems bright. I have someone I care for again.

[hikaaa-bi]

Alice essentially choosing Sam over Colin and Teddy is so heartbreaking.

she cares about all of them, of course she does. but in her mind, Sam is more reckless therefore he's obviously in more danger. and of course, there's the fact that they had a closer relationship once. in her attempts to keep him safe, she doesn't register the possibility that Teddy and Colin might be in more danger than Sam ever was.

obviously they're all going through some horrifying shit but Sam brought this upon himself after Alice repeatedly told him not to, while that's not the case with Teddy and Colin.

Colin was just trying to protect the OIAR by destroying the computers, while Teddy didn't even do anything wrong, he just wanted to quit his job.

anyway, Colin and Teddy trying to open up about their worries and immediately getting shut down really hits home. i feel so bad for them, i know it's not Alice's fault but like,, GIRL. Sam is not worth it, he already made it clear that he doesn't want your help, why don't you focus on the people who actually need you?

[hikaaa-bi]

magpod rant ahead!

i’m sorry but i’m so sick and tired of seeing all the “omg gwen is just like jon, she's so stupid and mean” posts. gwen is NOT like jon. just because they’re both rude and condescending doesn’t mean they’re the exact same.

gwen doing stupid shit and getting herself (and other people) into trouble is not the same as jon breaking the table.

for one, jon broke the table because he actually cared about someone, unlike gwen who only cares about herself.

secondly, i don't understand why people think breaking the table was a stupid thing to do. you didn't know it was stupid until michael said so. none of us did.

it's reasonable to assume that breaking the table would hurt the not!them, jon was working with what little knowledge he had about how the entities worked.

just because you have the privilege of finishing the whole series and seeing how things panned out doesn't mean jon was stupid for not knowing something he wasn't told.

the way gwen treats people around her is also vastly different from jon.

jon hated martin, sure, and it was completely unjustified. but he never used his power or status to control people around him. because he wasn't rich and also because he did respect his coworkers to some extent, especially sasha. even with martin, jon immediately switched up after the worm incident and let martin stay in the archives so he would be safe.

gwen, on the other hand, brought a known cannibal into her office because.. rich people. she used her wealth and status and power to first blackmail lena, then kick her out of her position. gwen shoved her way into a position she wasn't qualified for, and then got mad that no one tried to help her.

and don't get me wrong, i'm not a gwen hater. objectively, she is an interesting character. but she is not like jon in the slightest, and it's honestly insulting to compare two such vastly different characters.

there's a difference between making a mistake because you were kept in the dark about how things work vs making a mistake because you're used to getting whatever you want.

i think people are way too eager to make the protocol cast "archive 2.0" instead of letting them be their own unique characters. if you want more of jon and martin and the rest of tma characters, just LISTEN TO TMA AGAIN. no one is stopping you!!

[mime-rodeo]

it’s crazy how romance is believed to be a “girly” thing and people often say that only women care about romance, yet it’s the men who constantly complain about not getting the woman they want or about being single. they’re the ones desperate for a relationship, and not even because they actually want a loving partner, but because they think that being single is a failure.

especially nowadays, a lot of women have learned to dress for themselves and live for themselves and not do things in hopes of being noticed by a man, and cishet men are the ones who are constantly trying to impress women and one up each other. they say we wear makeup and dress well for male attention because they cannot imagine the idea of doing something for themselves, they cannot imagine living for themselves and coming to terms with being single. it’s very off-putting but also makes me feel bad for them.

[gp329]

Had a really weird dream last night

There was this supposedly "educational" CD-Rom that one of my old teachers used for class, but all it did was make everyone in the classroom stupider with its horrible lessons. It even affected physics and made the hallways longer so I couldn't escape the room quick enough. I'm pretty sure this is what the cover looked like:

[gp329]

i'm starting to think twitter is cursed what with all the accusing and stuff. can't even tell what's true or not thanks to the pandemic outside and people being bored. either way, this is getting outta hand. don't gr00m the m1n0rs, especially in this decade.

[gp329]

youtube: puts ultra instinct shaggy in the eddsworld category thanks to the fnf mod

...excuse me whaaaat?