Had to share:
This is known as "Dinner Table Syndrome." When a person with any kind of hearing loss, Deaf or late deafened cannot understand the constant conversations and ends up feeling alone, amongst people. This doesn't just happen during the holidays, this happens every day at breakfast, lunch and dinner and at office business meetings. Many times those who are deaf or have hearing loss, choose to eat before or after the table gathering, eat in front of a TV or while reading a book to try to cope with feelings of anger and heartbreak. Tired of the same old, same old because his or her family still has not learned any practical methods and or sign language to feel included or their company refuses to hire a sign language interpreter because it's too costly.
I remember in the late 1980's at the SHHH (Self Help for Hard of Hearing) North of Boston group, at the city of Melrose public library, once a month, we had a nice supportive meeting where we brainstormed our experiences and learned new ways to deal with dinner table syndrome.
One member said she reads a book right at the dinner table. Each time her family began their usual chatter, she'd begin reading. When they gave her rude glances for reading, she would say, "Hey, now you know what it's like to feel ignored." Then continued to read. A lot of us members were surprised she had such bravery to do that.
On the large 11"x14" pad of paper, set up on a painters easel at the meeting, we listed ideas of how to be courteous with family members and co workers to try to feel included during all meals.
*Be sure to sit with your back to a window. Trying to lipread someone sitting in front of a window is "glasshole" torture. The light behind them makes them become a dark shadow, you cannot see their facial features, let alone their lips.
*Suggest people not talk with their mouths full of food, less chances of choking.
*Focus on talking to the person on either side of you or across from you. Don't try to talk to everyone or from long opposite ends of the table. It's too overwhelming.
*Round tables are best for being able to lipread and see sign language. If you can, suggest sitting at a round table at home, the office meeting room and in restaurants.
*Bring a pad of paper & pen or small white board with you. Ask someone sitting near you to be a note taker. Have the person jot down a few words about what's being said. It doesn't need to be a paragraph. Just several words, for example, Betty & Bill expecting baby or Larry work promotion.
Last but not least, invite your hard of hearing and deaf friends to visit and join you during meals so family members can see how you communicate and invite them to learn sign language.
In today's world, we now have the ability to text or talk to text instead of using note paper or whiteboards. Some sign language interpreter apps for smartphones such as Zvrs or Jeanie or Nagish will be able to interpret for you during your family meals or business meetings. Some may charge a fee, check them out before hiring. Most businesses are supposed to provide and pay for any kind of sign language or oral interpreters, they can be tax write offs.
A surefire way to help reduce stress and frustrations that associate with any kind of hearing loss, is comic relief. Jokes usually get people to laugh. One can joke, "Please don't be a window glasshole! I need to sit with the window to my back, to be able to "hear you" thank you." 🪟🤣
Photo source: Facebook.
(If you know the artist of this. Comic please let us know their name so they can receive their due credit.)
*SHHH is now known as HLAA, "Hearing Loss Association of America."
📱🤟☺️👌📝👍😃🦻👍📋
