Still having Lemon Breeland feelings and god, I wanna fight Alice Kinkaid.
Both George and Wade assert that the Lemon of s1 is a completely different Lemon than the one that existed in high school and I think there’s a very obvious explanation that Alice’s leaving caused a break in Lemon and in many ways split her into two. It’s a very Blair-coded trait, and Chrisinda/ @sudsnewsletter wrote about it very well in her Blair profile, but also I really think the title of “The Duality of Lemon Breeland” would work so well.
High school Lemon seems to have been a bit of a wild child, a high school mean girl who still hung out with Wade, and played pranks, and broke into George’s parents’ cabin with little hang-ups about things like “propriety”. We saw in the Christmas episode that she looked up to and idolized her mother, wanted to be like her, but all of that was so far off into the future, for now Lemon was still young and free and could afford to be reckless.
And then her mother left, left because she was tried of being the housewife Lemon idolized, left because she wanted more out of life. Left and broke her father’s heart, left when Magnolia was so so young she canonically doesn’t even remember Alice.
And look, yeah, I get it, Alice, I really do. Lemon was canonically an accident, Brick proposed and they got married solely because of the pregnancy, Alice must’ve still been very young if she had two more children roughly fifteen and twenty-two years after Lemon was born, respectively. Alice had big dreams that she had to give up when she got pregnant. That would make anybody unhappy.
But to Brick’s point, even if he was worth leaving, you don’t leave your children. Lemon was forced to grow up in an instant, become the caretaker of the house, raise Magnolia despite still being a child herself. That would be a seismic change in anybody.
But I think it goes deeper than that. Lemon has a whole speech in 108, two of them actually, to George and Lavon, about how she can’t be that free spirit anymore, claiming she doesn’t want to be, telling George she can’t be two different people, can’t be both reckless and the mature model housewife she’s trying to be, telling Lavon that they have to control their urges, repress their feelings, that they have to be “grown ups”.
And it’s so clear to me that the quiet part here is that Lemon associates following your feelings and being fancy-free as childish behavior because of her mother. Because her mother went and followed her feelings and broke a family in the process.
Lemon learned all the wrong lessons when Alice left, not that it’s her fault, took away from it not that boxing yourself into a life you don’t want will only lead to destruction down the road, but instead took away from it that she should become the perfect housewife, the perfect Belle, that her mom never could, that she should stick with her commitments no matter what, even when they stopped making her happy.
When Lemon tells George that her time with Lavon felt like “it happened to a completely different person” I think she really means it. Her affair with Lavon didn’t happen with the “mature, reformed” Lemon. It happened with the wild, free spirit, reckless Lemon she tried to leave behind in high school, making one last appearance.
And that side of Lemon made an appearance because of her mother. It’s no coincidence that her mother is the catalyst for her initial relationship with Lavon. Her mother, who she had spent years thinking she ran off to California, hell, maybe New York (the place that took George from her) to become an actress only to learn she was really one town over. All these years, just one town over.
And it crushed Lemon. Broke the scab that had never fully healed. She tried to call George but it was clear that he had been neglecting her while he was in New York, and then here comes Lavon, a near stranger, but he dove into that lake and got that necklace anyway. And he’s making her feel things Lemon hasn’t felt since high school, new glittery feelings she never thought she’d feel again after high school, and George doesn’t want her and her mom doesn’t want her, but Lavon wants her. Lavon brings out a side of her she long thought dead and if her mother is just one big liar what is Lemon even trying to prove anymore anyway.
So she kisses him. And carries on an affair with him for six weeks, only six weeks, but they must’ve been the best six weeks of her life, if she still calls him the love of her life after four years of nothing but angst.
And then George comes back. Probably just in time for Valentine’s Day. And he gets down on one knee and proposes and now for maybe the first real time in her life Lemon has to make a choice about her future.
And she chooses to be that “mature, reformed” woman once again. Because George still wants her after all. And if he found out what happened with Lavon, after he gave up his life in New York for her, well, he’d just be crushed, he’d be broken. She’d break him just like her mother broke her father, and Lemon can’t be her mother. She’s spent too many years trying not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, she can’t fail now.
So she tells George yes, and she breaks Lavon’s heart instead, but it’s okay, or at least that’s what Lemon tells herself. Because he loves the version of Lemon that just can’t exist anymore, loves the version of her that she will never let escape again.
But of course, that version still peaks out every now and then. Lemon points that microphone at the awful memory maiden and humiliates her in front of everyone and Lavon smiles, knows she did it for him, and feels good, but it feels so, so wrong too, because Lemon’s supposed to be mature. She’s not supposed to be that girl anymore.
And then she finds out at Christmas once again that her mother isn’t just in the next town over, she has a family. A new one. Lemon spent all these years trying to be the woman her mother never could, only to find out her mother did become that woman, just with a daughter that wasn’t her.
And so she goes to find comfort with the same person who gave her the best comfort she had ever had. But Lavon sees the pattern now. He can’t let himself get crushed again, not when he knows Lemon is still gonna wake up the next morning and go back to George. He tells her to go to George, and well, Lemon actually listens.
She spends months and months convincing herself that she belongs with George, and Lavon doesn’t want her anymore, except he does, of course he does. But Lemon doesn’t see it, doesn’t see it until it’s far too late. Lemon’s too far down this path of doing whatever she can to make this wedding work, hell she even tried to befriend Zoe Hart to do it! This wedding will happen, even if she has to make it happen through sheer force of will.
It might not have felt like it in the moment, but I do think George leaving Lemon at that alter was one of the best things he could’ve done for her. Because Lemon, for all her strength, never would’ve been strong enough to do that. And she would’ve married George, despite her repressed feelings for someone else. What Lemon didn’t understand then, probably didn’t understand for years and years, was that the only way she truly could’ve become her mother is if she had allowed herself to be boxed into that marriage with George.
George set her free that day. Set her free to be reckless and a free spirit again. To have ambition again. Speaking of Chrisinda’s fashion analysis again, it’s no coincidence that Lemon’s wardrobe becomes younger and more age appropriate the longer the show goes on. She’s not trying to force herself to be a “grown up” anymore, she’s just trying to live her life.
But the maturity she’s grown into doesn’t disappear either. When all the stuff with Alice goes down in season 4 (not so coincidentally at the same time Lemon’s about to get back with Lavon) Lemon does turn to him once again. But she knows better this time, knows that rushing into something just because you need comfort isn’t the healthiest way to start a relationship, tells Lavon that she needs time, they need to wait (a request he’s happy to grant - if anyone understands Lemon’s mom stuff, it’s Lavon).
Lemon Breeland did what Blair Waldorf never could - she was able to merge the two sides of herself back into one.