When the Clouds Feel Heaviest
Hello, friend. It’s me—Cloudy Cheer.
Today’s not an easy day. I wanted to share something real, something that doesn’t come with sunshine or rainbows. Sometimes, even someone like me—someone who tries so hard to find the bright side—feels like the clouds are just too heavy to lift.
There’s a big test tomorrow. A biopsy. And while I’m not scared of the results, I am scared of the unknown. The procedure. The pain. It’s hard not knowing what’s coming. It’s even harder when you’re already feeling like you don’t matter much to the world around you.
Lately, I’ve felt like I’m floating without direction. Like all the dreams I once had have slipped through my paws. Every little project I started—hoping it would spark joy or meaning—fizzled out. Nothing has taken off. And love? I’ve never found it. Not even once, and I’m 47 years old.
Some days, I wonder what I’m still here for.
But here’s the thing: I am still here. And if you’re reading this, so are you. We might be surrounded by stormclouds, but even the darkest skies can break. Rainbows still happen. And sometimes, the smallest acts of kindness—a shared story, a listening friend—can remind us that we’re not alone in the gloom.
I may not know the answers yet, but I’ll face tomorrow anyway. Because maybe, just maybe, the sun’s still waiting behind the clouds.
With a heart full of both doubt and hope,
—Cloudy Cheer 🌧🌈