He asked her after a talk, “would i still see you picking up the pieces”
and wholeheartedly she said “yes i will, even if i have to over and over again, if thats the only way for you to see how you mean to me”
She said that even if thats impossible, Impossible because you cant repeatedly save someone, my love you also have to save yourself. She said that beause she loves him so much she’s scared of losing him even if it means she’s gonna lose herself.
In the end he still left.
“why did you ask me that? you have made your mind already, thats bullshit” she thought to herself.
Years after, she still cries herself to sleep. Not that much compared to how she does months after the separation. But from time to time that still haunts her. Not him, not the guy she loved, but the pain that relationship left.
She remembers him saying “You are the strongest woman i know” the day she cant remeber the date , pain is all she can remember. The least he could say but she needed that tthe least.
Brave, strong, independent. Its not really what she wants to be but its what she needs to be, for herself. Years after you can see her give the smile that shines like the sun from the east. She has found herself again. Not the same, not familiar but it gives her the security. She’ll find love again, she still belives in that.
Thanks to these people who supported me when i can no longer support myself. I cant think of dying just to end the pain, it may be practical but i believe someone out there will gladly accept my love. I began to accept that no matter how hard i try to be as close to perfect, we have obstacles in our lives that we have to face first. With that we may encounter people who will help us either to be aware of the things we should learn. Someone to love, someone that will fuel different emotions within you, you’ll get fired up or fired down.
