Literally can't watch the scene when Neil hits Billy without getting upset because it reminds of my dad doing the exact same thing to me except he did it in front of my entire fifth grade class.
And that's one of the reasons why I can never hate Billy. I can empathize with the hurt, the pain the fucking embarrassment from getting abused in front of other people. the deep seething rage from not being able to fight back and having to repress any emotion to what just happened unless you wanted to get an even harsher beating. The raw heartbreak of having your parent, someone who's supposed to love and protect you, verbally abuse you and put their hands on you in such a violent way.
And the frustration of no one noticing you need help but also being so fucked up by the abuse that you don't even know how to regulate your emotions or be emotionally open and vulnerable with people in fear of being abandoned or hurt again
I understand having all that built up anger with no outlet for it so you keep it inside and let it fester and boil until you end up snapping and the immediate regret after doing so but you're so ashamed that you'd rather avoid the people you hurt because you can't stand to see how your actions affected them.
And antis who say Billy deserved all of that just because he did some bad things and didn't perform victimhood in the "correct" way...you are lower than scum and aren't worth more than the shit beneath my shoe
