I wish I wasn't always scheming. I wish I wasn't always plotting. Im always trying to find a way out. Never once in my life have i felt comfortable. In this school. In this church. In this job. In this house. In this city. In this skin. My heart is never at rest. My mind is never at rest. I have my days I do. When the smiles are genuine. When the laughter is contagious. When I forget about this unceasing discomfort. Maybe im too aware. Maybe i hold too much. All Ive ever known is how to run. I just want to stay. Free in my body. Free in my soul. Free in my mind. Is it this place? Is it this world? Is it this life? God knows im trying to live a life pleasing in his sight, but somehow in this human vessel this earth has never felt right.