Dating is Sad: Funny Men Do Not Exist
My name is Dean. I am a single girl and I am looking for a guy who can make me laugh. I mean, let’s face it. What girl doesn’t want to date a funny guy? Someone to share a good belly laugh with? Or someone who can crank-out hilarious knock-knock jokes better than a third-grader? Steve Penner, the owner of the Boston-based dating service "Lunch Dates," interviewed thousands of women over a twenty-year timeframe and found that the number-one criteria in looking for a mate is sense of humor. So it’s a fact. Every girl wants to date a funny guy.
So you can imagine my excitement when I learned today about a brand new dating site created specifically for funny singles to meet. The site, Humordate.com, is a free dating and social networking website that promises to match funny men and women based on sense of humor personality traits. According to Robert Merz, the CFO (Chief Funny Officer) of Humordate: "The site brings together the elements of both online dating and social networking in a free-of-charge, user-friendly, and fun environment encouraging freedom of expression." I mean Humordate is pretty much the online dating site that I’ve always wanted but didn't know I actually wanted until it existed.
Of course after reading about this site today I had to check it out for myself. The blurb on the site immediately got me feeling even more intrigued, “HUMORDATE.COM is your one-stop online singles shopping site for meeting the most fun people on the planet…” Giddy with excitement and all prepared to find myself the funniest man on the planet, I entered in all of my information on the site. “Dean is seeking a male between the ages of 30 – 41 who lives within a 10-mile radius of San Francisco, CA”. I hit submit and….
“No results were found.” Much to my surprise, there are apparently no funny men who live within a 10-mile radius of San Francisco. So I make the decision to expand my search. I mean I am certainly willing to travel 20 miles to meet a Mr. Funny Pants. After all, I think that’s a very small price to pay for a lifetime of laughter, right? But again, “No results were found.” So I decide to take an even bigger plunge and broaden my search criteria once again. This time I search for a funny man within a 60-mile radius of San Francisco. I hit submit one last time only to find that not one single funny man lives within 60 miles of me.
Feeling a bit perplexed and saddened by the sudden realization that I could potentially end up with a man who is not funny, I make the decision to broaden my search criteria yet again. I mean I am in my mid-thirties so ideally I would want to date someone who is somewhat close to my age. But for a man who can make me laugh, I decide that I am willing to be a bit more flexible. So I change my search criteria to “seeking a male between the ages of 20 – 120 within a 300-mile radius of San Francisco”. I cross my fingers, hit submit and...
“No results were found."
I am not going to lie. This is not the first time I have been rejected by an online dating site. In fact, throughout the years, I have been denied by lots (and lots) of dating sites. I’ve always been somewhat okay with the rejection though because each time I had simply assumed that there had to be some logical explanation behind the rejection. (Like being a Jewish girl on a site for Indian singles. I get it. I am not quite the appropriate suitor for an Indian man seeking an Indian woman for marriage.) But getting rejected by Humordate.com, a site that promises to pair me up with the funniest men on the planet, I believe, is the worst type of rejection a single girl can get. I mean here I am, vulnerable and desperately hoping to find my funny soul mate, only to learn that there is not one single man between the ages of 20-120 who is suitable for me. Talk about REJECTION!
So to all of you single girls out there, if you are looking to meet a man who is going to make you laugh, I am sad to report that he simply does not exist. Apparently, all of the single funny men out there are taken. (Even the 120 year olds are not available.) So my suggestion for you is to stick to the traditional online dating sites such as J.Date, OkCupid, and Match.com. Sure. You may not end up with someone who is funny or someone who can tell a good knock-knock joke. But just think, you won't have to date someone who's older than 120 either. And trust me, having to date a senior citizen (especially while you're still in your prime) is no laughing matter.